Masters or not to Masters

[piscofrisco]

I am 45 and due to start a masters in a months time. It’s the sort of one that is active placement, learn on the job, get paid (a bit) and end up three years later with your qualification. Very intense, full time work/study.
It something I wanted to do in my twenties but small kids/life/etc etc got in the way. I applied for this course last year after being made redundant and to my surprise got in.

Between applying and now I took a job in a sort of lower grade role in a similar field. Just to earn a bit and fill the time. I love this job. It’s the most enjoyable job I’ve ever had. It’s 30 hours a week which gives me some time at home (and crucially lets me help dh with my step children who are younger and which involves 2 hour round trips to collect them from their Mums which DH will struggle more with if doing on his own-my masters won’t allow me to help him). I am peri and I’ve found I like the pace of the work. I can afford to carry on doing this. But it won’t lead to any career development. It doesnt stretch me massively (which I don’t currently mind).

I should have handed in my notice today. I couldn’t being myself to do it. I’m doubting the whole thing.

The Masters is a great opportunity that might lead to higher earnings/greater interest in the back half of my career.we can afford not to have the money (I know I’m very lucky in this) and I’m qualified in something different that has been my full on substansive career to date that I could go back to to earn more if I needed to.

However it means working full on for three years-I genuinely don’t think I physically have the energy for it. Not being around as much for my bonus kids which I feel bad about . Going back to studying (which I’m nervous about) and leaving my lovely job (the only job I’ve ever really done with any joy).

Please help me decide what to do-I’ve been going back and forth for weeks on this. I can’t defer the masters, they don’t allow it.

dh is saying to do the masters, test myself, we’ll make it work, have some Ambition basically. But what if it’s better to be content and happy and energised by making home life work and just enjoying what I’m doing? I simply don’t know what to do at all!

It's a tricky one, I see both points of view. I also did a masters recently in my 40's and was disappointed with the quality of what was on offer compared to my Undergrad degree and post grad 20 years ago. I was lucky to get a fully funded place and a scholarship and while I'd say it wasn't worthless as it did help give me impetuous to switch careers I ended up feeling like I and the other post grad students were just seen as cash cows for the university. Like rake in the cash (especially from international students) and hand out degrees at the end pretty much no matter what and I was at a very well regarded university. I had been thinking of doing a research degree at one point but my masters experience put me off spending more time at university.

I think a lot of women really invest a lot in the idea of getting advanced degrees as a way to prove something to themselves and perhaps others especially after years of being a mum. I think you just need to think really hard about why you are doing, is it going to be a good fit for you. Previously I had a great career in the film and tv industry and I was good at it but I was totally temperamentally unsuited for it, hated the long hours, constantly working, being away from home and loved one's and no energy for my own creative projects. It took me way to long to give up because I was on some level validated by my success and they coolness of the work and what other people thought of it and I'd always wanted to do it since I was a kid.

I'm not saying don't do it but closely examine your motivations, if you can speak to people on the course now or recent graduates, ask yourself are you doing this just because its a long held dream or is it what you actually want to do now at this stage of your life?

Is it possible your redundancy made you leap at something you missed the opportunity to do when you were younger? Remember you’re a different person now, with a tonne of life experience behind you. What appealed then may just not hold the same draw now, and that’s ok.

Id stick with your current job.
It is a gamble for sure, however for me the values that you mentioned would outweigh ' ambition' of climbing ladders / earning more. YOLO and all that.

@piscofriscoCan you say what kind of field it’s in? Is it possible to do a p/t course alongside your current job if you want to (not necessarily now but in a year or two)? How are are your stepchildren?

It’s social work. So full on. I’ve worked all my life in adult social care (managing MH services mainly) this is a code switch to families. My current job is working with adults with LD in a support worker role (not managing anything for the first time in 20 years which I’m enjoying)

Steps are 11 and 13. I guess They would be fine after school for a bit if it weren’t for the very long commute to get them but there is no changing that for now. Plus I’m worried about lack of energy to hang out with them/do anything else on weekends etc.is that pathetic?

Is your husband working full time? I would absolutely not want to be working part time with lower pension contributions etc while looking after someone else's kids. If you ever separate, you lose the kids and have sacrificed your earning potential. Could you find your own life on your own if this role was full time? Make the decision based on what is best for you, not other people.

I’m currently doing a BA in social work in my early 40’s and I do love it - the friends and experience I’ve had at uni had been incredible and I know without a doubt that I want to be a SW after years of working in social care.

I was a support worker for looked after children and I loved it so much. I would have stayed forever had the pay been better. I am a single parent, so knew that if I wanted security and better pay I had to get qualified.

IF money wasn’t an issue, I would have stayed in that role and not pursued a degree, so I understand completely where you are coming from.

Is there any possibility that you can do a part time masters if your heart is set on it and continue to work? Could your current work place be used as one of your placements if so?

It’s a tough decision, but if you are truly happy in your job now and don’t “need” the money and qualification then I would be tempted to stay put. Do you really want to be a social worker?

I would stick with your current job which gives you joy, and a work-life balance. Personally. The reason I say this is because finding joy in a job is very rare. I have also done what I thought I ought to do in the past over what my heart was telling me and always regretted it!

Your current role sounds great, so I’d stick with it. Could you do the OU Masters? https://www.open.ac.uk/postgraduate/qualifications/f80

You have up to 9 years to complete it!

Could you defer entry for a year and see how your current job goes in that time?

I started an Arts Masters last year full time, having resigned from work. I have a BSc and an accountancy qualification, but haven't formally studied in many years. I had to go part-time it was so demanding. During term time I live and breathe Masters. I perhaps naively thought it wouldnt be too tricky, as I have seen some appalling surveys and questions from friends' children, doing Masters as they can't find paid work. But it is hard. I'm loving it - hope to have a 3rd twilight career. But there is no spare time!

I can’t defer unfortunately. Thankyou all, I think you’ve confirmed what I thought. Weirdly I’m most worried about telling people (my judgy mum) that I’m not doing it. Which is silly. I find it hard to not give a monkeys what people think-something to work on for sure. I’m at work this morning in the sun (it’s an outdoor setting), I’ve had a lovely morning with my service users and I was thinking how it would feel to tell them I won’t be seeing them every day-not good. I think it would be silly to swap it for something that will make every bit of life harder and that I’m not entirely sure about.

The OU one might work @Cornishmumofonethankyou-definitely
worth considering.

I think it would be silly to swap it for something that will make every bit of life harder and that I’m not entirely sure about.

Social work is a hard road both in training and in practice - very worthwhile but you do live and breathe it while training. If you’re not sure, I’d let it be. You may actually find the kind of direct work you’re doing now is closer to social work as it was when you were younger - social work now (certainly in local authorities) has much less opportunity for direct support of families.