He got away with it….. ***TW: contains content about sexual assault and sexual violence***

YesHonestly · 11/06/2025 11:52

It was not your fault. You did not invite this by going home with him.

Rapists are at fault for rape. That’s all.

I am so, so sorry that justice wasn’t served for you OP. The conviction rate for rapes are disgustingly low.

Do you have support around you in real life?

GraceUnderPresure · 11/06/2025 11:52

I'm so sorry to hear this, it must be a horrible shock to find out they're dropping your case.
I hope you're able to get the help you need to put this terrible experience behind you.

LateQuartet · 11/06/2025 11:55

Be very kind to yourself, OP. Unfortunately, it's a common outcome for rape cases, to the point where, if I were a friend of yours, I would have encouraged you to consider this as a likely outcome, and put in place some supports for when you were notified. The lack of legal redress does not mean that it was in any way your fault, or that it didn't happen, or that it wasn't an appalling crime. Which I know you know, but it's worth repeating. You were raped because you were unfortunate enough to cross a rapist's path.

SilenceInside · 11/06/2025 11:58

I think you will have the right to request a review of that decision. Is there anything in the letter that outlines that at all?

According to the gov.uk website, it says "If the police or the CPS decide to drop the charge, they must tell you within 5 days. You can ask for a review if you disagree with their decision." There's a link to more information about requesting a review.

https://www.gov.uk/your-rights-after-crime

I'm really sorry that you have not been able to get the outcome that you should have had. And, as others have said, absolutley none of this was your fault.

BashfulClam · 11/06/2025 12:03

You are in no way to blame. He is, he raped you and I’m so sorry he will just get away with it. He’ll probably do it again to someone else to be honest and hopefully they will also report him.

eqpi4t2hbsnktd · 11/06/2025 12:12

Sending you much love x

Ohdearwhatnow4 · 11/06/2025 12:15

I'm so sorry this has happened to yet another person.
It's very hard to prove rape/sexual assault and if it had gotten to court the rapist barrister might have ripped you to shreds and you might of ended up blaming yourself more.
You need as much counselling as you can get and although things are hard and nothing will change it will get easier, I speak from experience.

Wolfhat · 11/06/2025 12:25

Its horrific and even if it goes to court with texts where the rapist admits it, they can still be let off. I hope you seek out support in real life and know that even though this was the outcome your bravery in reporting it is incredible and so many women are with you and are grateful that you stood up.

Honestly, the way men get away with using women fills me with rage. I don't know the answer but even though this is so often the horrible outcome we cant stop speaking up

Findingmypurposeinlife · 11/06/2025 12:32

BrickCrab · 11/06/2025 11:50

hi,
at the end of the year in 2023, I was raped by a man I met online. We arranged to meet in a bar for some drinks then I foolishly went back with him. When I got there I felt uncomfortable and when he initiated sex I said no. He forced me into sex & I was raped. I reported it to the police the next day and went to a rape clinic had all the swabs and everything done. They confirmed i had sexual trauma to my privates and the police said i had substantial case. They dragged a case on up til today and it was a long gruelling process as you know. The policeman assigned to my case said he was confident it would go to CPS. However when I told him details he requested I noticed him smirking. Anyways i was having my lunch today when a letter had came through. I opened it to see it was from the police… I read and then I realised that it said the police were dropping it as there wasn’t enough evidence & because the rape happened at his home address and nobody saw it. He groped me in the bar so that would have been on CCTV and the police said they caught it but this wasn’t mentioned on the letter. I feel so so let down and so upset I am scared im going to have a mental breakdown again- I’ve been doing so well recently. I feel like you can go around and commit awful crimes towards women, anyone and get away with it or even a slap on the hand. I have real rage towards the police and life right now, and i know im going to get some hateful comments like “what did you expect you went back with him’ I KNOW! I blame myself still
i guess I just need to get it off my chest and any words- I feel so upset let down and heartbroken

I am so sorry you have been through this. Request a 'right to review' and raise a case via the relevant Parliamentary Ombudsman.

Shesellsseashellsnotinmystreet · 11/06/2025 12:36

You have added doubt to his character op. He will offend again and slip up. I hope his next victim is as strong as you and reports him.

Don't let him ruin your life. You are a strong woman.

GladiatoooorsReadyyyy · 11/06/2025 12:36

You are absolutely NOT to blame!!

I’m so sorry you didn’t get the justice you deserve 💐

Tillow4ever · 11/06/2025 12:36

I’m so sorry OP. I was raped at 17. But it was by a man who I knew, a family friend, and he basically agreed that everything I said had happened… up until the point of consent. The police told me afterwards they felt that he had pre-planned to do it, I heard from other women locally he had done the same thing to at least 8 other girls/women… yet he got away with it every time. I still go through spells of nightmares now if something sets them off - and for that reason, could I please ask that you report your post and ask them to edit the title to include a trigger warning? I personally need to get in the right mindset to read posts like these, and I’m sure there are others who may open this post not having a clue that they are about to have rape discussed.

I absolutely think it’s an important conversation to have - I just don’t want other women to have their PTSD triggered.

I highly recommend counselling to talk through what happened to you. It’s a slow process, but it’s really important to tell your brain process what happened to you.

please remember, this was not your fault.

ballettap · 11/06/2025 12:37

Where are you based? Do you have a Victim Support service near you? You don't need to have an ongoing case or even have reported anything to the police to utilise their service.

Is there anyway you can appeal the decision on the basis of the CCTV footage? That is sexual assault at least and I wouldn't assume all police officers do their jobs properly. I've worked in this field. But as a PP said, there is always a chance he could still get away with it so you need to be prepared.

However, that's nothing to do with a person not being believed, it purely comes down to evidence.

Wisterical · 11/06/2025 12:40

You are not to blame, not at all, not in any way. It was not your fault 💗

NoThankYouSis · 11/06/2025 12:40

Sorry to hear this. Unfortunately rape cases are notoriously difficult to get past the cps, especially as this has happened at a private residence where witnesses and evidence are more difficult to come by. Ultimately you just have to remember that they are not saying they don’t believe you, they are saying that the evidence available doesn’t meet the threshold that makes it likely to obtain a successful prosecution. Nobody would want to put you through the stress and upset of a court case if there are poor chances of a positive outcome. Make sure you access any support available and take good care of yourself.

viques · 11/06/2025 12:46

I believe you @BrickCrab , and I am sorry that you aren’t able to get your day in court and justice for this abuse.

I wish it was true that what goes around comes around, and that karma will mete out justice eventually but it isn’t. I hope you can find the therapy and support that will help you to deal with the trauma of the rape and the unfairness of the decision and help you to live your life in the knowledge that you are a strong woman whose ability to overcome means that you are morally and emotionally a better human being than the scummy lowlife who tried to steal your self esteem from you.

SizeWiser · 11/06/2025 13:07

Please please please ask for a review of this OP.

I know this is a very different situation but many years ago I reported someone to the police for assault following a road rage incident. A short while later, the police informed me they wouldn't pursue it as they felt the case wasn't strong enough. I knew it was however, and I pushed back. Less than a year later the man in question was found guilty of assault and convicted.

Don't let this go without a fight. What happened to you was awful and you've been so brave to report it. Do all you can to make sure he is brought to justice.

Thinking of you.

myplace · 11/06/2025 13:11

I’m so sorry. This should never have happened, and the police response should have been better.

I’m also really sorry you had to receive the news by letter, without warning. It’s very upsetting when you have no way to prepare yourself for what you are about to hear.

throwawaynametoday · 11/06/2025 14:06

I am desperately sorry OP and I echo everything PPs have said. This was not your fault. You have been let down terribly. Your anger is justified.

When you feel strong enough, you might like to think about reading/listening to Prima Facie. It is harrowing and rage-inducing but also validating of women's experiences of a system that fails to deliver justice time and time again.

Fastingandhungry · 11/06/2025 15:05

The CPS would have made the decision but shocking of the Police to update you via letter and not in person or at least over the phone.

It’s not your fault, you have been so strong, draw down on that but equally allow yourself some time to grieve and get angry, the only one at fault is that piece of scum man. Get as much support as you can.