Would this be seen as a red flag by my employer?

[Ethicaldebacle]

I start a new job in 3 weeks. Unfortunately, within a week I need to take my DD to a hospital appointment (gynecology so it's not like her can/should take her) and then the next week I have a GP appointment

• couldn't get anything sooner :( -

Are you planning to take annual leave? If so I would raise it with them now so they can plan.

Why can someone else not take her?

Because she doesn't feel comfortable to talk about her missing periods with her dad. Which is understandable!

Maybe the hospital appointment, but depending on how slow they are it shouldn't take longer than 1 hour (I live across the road from the hospital).

I was planning to take my laptop anyway.

I would inform them today by email that you have had 2 important doctors appointments come through. 1 for a dependent and 1 for yourself and ask for guidelines on their policy for medical appointments.

you won’t have accrued any annual leave yet so they may be unpaid or time made up.
these things happen

Have you let the employer know? Usually they ask if you've got any holidays booked either at interview or job offer stage, that would be a good time to tell them about these appointments.
Edit: I've just realised you will have already had the interview/offer comms. 🤦‍♀️ Yeah just phone/email them and let them know.

If I was in a new job I would take annual leave for this, hospital appointments always run over and at least then you don’t need to stress over it.

Also you can usually take annual leave before it’s accrued in my experience? I’ve take a holiday a week after starting a new job before my balance just showed as minus for a while.

As an employer, honestly it would a bit but I'd let them know as soon as you can, explain you're very sorry about the unfortunate timing but these are appointments you cannot miss/rearrange

No, I was waiting to get the contract. Two of their core values are that: "lifeb happens and that comes first" and "be selfish" so given that, I thought that would if.be ok.

It's not like I chose to have those appointments.

The GP appointment would only make me 10mins late, so super minor impact in that sense. The hospital appointment is around lunch break

When you tell them offer to stay later those evenings to make up lost time ?

How old is your daughter? If teenage she can get to hospital herself surely?

it won’t look great to a new employer but they can’t sack you off the back of it surely

She's 14, I think I should still attend with her.

It depends on the employer and your contract, but it wouldn't be a particularly red flag for me. I'd echo what @middleagedandinarage advises - contact them as soon as possible, apologise and explain. Life happens and any reasonable employer would understand that. It's not as if you've booked to get your hair cut & coloured in work time. These are necessary medical appointments.

Edited - if she's only 14 I would definitely go with her. It's not a pleasant thing to deal with and I'm sure she'd value your support.

Good luck with your new job and hope the appointments go OK. x

Oh right yes fair enough. Sorry I assumed she was over 16. She is still a child you definitely need to go.

I really value give and take in my team.

I'd have no issue with you going, if you offered to work the time back I'd think very highly of you as a new starter, but wouldn't actually make you do it, so I'd say there's no need to work it back.

However, if you did it off your own steam anyway after i said that, it wouldn't go unnoticed and I'd then be more than happy to give more than I'd take as I'd know you wouldn't take the piss.

Hope all goes well at your appointments.

Ty! Yes that's my plan. We don't have set working hours as it's more to fit your hours around clients (UK/US) which is there's a natural give and take.

I would be absolutely fine about it if I hired you, but would appreciate a heads up in advance so that I can plan out training and any meetings I may be booking on your behalf. I'd be a little more put out if someone announced they needed time off with short notice on their first day if they knew about it beforehand. Suggesting you'll make up the time or whatever is needed in accordance with their policies would go down well.

Perfect - this is exactly what you should do

I'm an Employer and this wouldn't be a concern at all to me. I always ask new starters to provide me with holidays and appointment dates already booked and honour them. I'm sure they would appreciate knowing with as much notice as possible and the offer of making time up/annual leave is always appreciated.

I manage a big team and this wouldn’t bother me in the slightest, assuming you are someone who is willing to be flexible in the other direction too.

Life happens. Doctor and dentist appointments happen during working hours, kids need to be brought to appointments, dogs have to go to the vet.

That’s life.

The majority of my team are women in their 30s and 40s with kids. If I wasn’t flexible with them, we’d never get anything done. We’re on a good habit of me knowing that they’ll have to pop out for an hour at some stage, and then knowing that sometimes I will have to call them before they’ve finished their lunch if there’s a pressing issue.

I think once everyone communicates well and doesn’t take the piss (in either direction), most modern workplaces allow for this kind of thing (where possible, I get that there are jobs that are much more attendance- and time-bound eg medical professionals etc).

All you can do is ask them asap and be honest. Ive just had 15 months off to have surgery and my manager has been amazing helping me out, working from home etc.
Im sure people understand that life happens and sometimes you have to take time off.

Absolutely you should go with her. At 14, my daughter wouldn’t have thought to explain everything and ensure the doctor didn’t miss anything.