Allowing DC to ‘play out’ - how old?

[failingAllOverThePlace]

DS is 10 and year 5. We live on a small estate, busy-ish in terms of traffic but there are a few cut-de-sacs so it’s not too bad. He can ride a bike but we haven’t really been very adventurous in terms of taking him out for ‘proper’ cycling, so his road sense isn’t great. He walks himself too and from school with his friends, school is on the estate and about 8 minutes walk away.

Recently a few of the boys who live locally have been calling for him and asking if he can go out with them on his bike. Only one is someone I’d describe as a close friend of his. The others are more acquaintances and one boy in particular hasn’t always been the kindest to DS in the past. We’ve been saying no, but they call most days and sometimes late-ish (eg today it was at 8.15 - he’s upstairs getting ready for bed! His bedtime is around 9 but he likes to faff a bit first)

My question is - are we being precious saying no? We don’t know most of the boys well at all, and one of them sometimes brings his year 2 brother with him and I don’t like the idea of DS going off with them with and even younger child in tow. When did you let your kids start to ‘play out’?

I wouldn’t be overly keen. When does he do BIK ability in school is it p6? They do a road behaviour lesson. I know DS learnt a lot.

Its not so much the going out it’s the uncertainty of where they are going and what they will get up to. When DS was 10 I took to a bike place and he’d do a trail that was about 5km on his own / with his brother and that was fine as not worrying about roads etc.

I have a ds same age and yes he goes out to play but is not allowed to leave our cul de sac. There is a green in the middle where a lot of them congregate and have built a den. He's got to be back by 5 week day and 6 on a weekend. I can see it from my house so I keep an eye on him.

We're definitely not going to let him go out cycling with mates until well into year 6 and definitely not after dinner as like yours, he's getting ready for bed/shower /reading from 8.

Literally after school, no problem, after 7pm..nope. That's wind down, family time particularly term time.

thank you all - very reassuring. If I could see him @Yellowsubmarine55 i think I’d feel better but there’s no central green bit that’s part of our estate, however there is a larger playing field but you have to cross a pretty major road to get to it. There is a crossing and he’s never crossed it on his own so that’s another worry I’d have :(

school will do some kind of cycling awareness thing in year 6 I think? I think we will stick to our guns for now. He doesn’t seem that bothered and it doesn’t feel right to let him go just yet.

And yes the timing really bothers me @wastingtimeonhere! By 7.30 we’re just enjoying quiet family time/finishing dinner/winding down so the last thing I want is him roaming the streets.

it depends on where you live but I allowed mine from age 9. Some def let theirs out a bit younger though.
during the school week however I’d expect him home by 7, 8 at the very latest (he’s now 10)

Oh meant to mention my ds can get where he wants without crossing any big roads, I’d be far more nervous about that and prob not allow until at least 10

AirTag on the bike

Around here ( small town) some of the boys play out from y6 and are riding about on bikes but most not. It’s more a summer before y7 thing.

My 10.5 year old plays out on his bike, he has a phone which i track so i can see where he is at all times. I only allowed it in the last month as he was one of the only kids in his class not playing out. I think it just depends where you live. We are in a small village where everyone knows each other etc. I’d much rather he be playing out in the fresh air than stuck inside on his Xbox which is what he was doing previously

At 8 mine was out with friends alone.
we’d (friends and I) allow maybe 1/1.5hrs before we’d all end up out meeting up with them wherever they were.
sometimes they were across from me (could be heard but not seen), sometimes they went elsewhere but generally they were all good and our friendship group meant that if 1 couldn’t manage out then others could so kids still got out.

By 10 that was much more lenient but we’d still all meet by the time it was “home time” and they’d get a little extra time as parents were all there to ensure taken home.

personally I’d be allowing him out but it would be wit strict rules and not just pleasing himself. Or agree within X amount of weeks he can but you have to teach a few things first (crossing that busy road) because if peer pressure is still thing (it is!!) then he’ll be across that road before you’ve taught how to do it correctly.
does he have a phone/tracker watch? That’d also maybe help with peace of mind 😊

I know I'm late to the party but I've only recently started allowing my children to play out the front . We're in a horseshoe and can see traffic entering from both sides.
That being said both of my kids are ND and my son who is 11 doesn't have a lot of awareness of anything and nearly had an accident this week. Thankfully the car driver saw him and slowed right down, not that he was going fast