Can’t believe how much money my parents have amassed

[Tallular819]

My parents started out with nothing, not a penny from their families. My mum was a dinner lady, Dad was a secondary school teacher.

They paid off their mortgage in their 40s. As children we had a holiday abroad every year and multiple uk holidays throughout the year.

They had a lease car which would be replaced every 3 years with a new one.

They paid for mine and my sisters weddings and house deposits.

They’ve travelled all over the world in their retirement and I’ve just found out they have £200k in savings.

WTF?! DH and I have comparable careers, we run 1 old banger of a car, we have 1 uk holiday per year, we’ve stopped at 1 child, we’re on target to pay off our mortgage when we reach retirement, we have a grand total of £4k in savings. We don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t buy expensive clothes.

Its just hit me how vastly different our financial situations are. I didn’t appreciate just how different the cost of living is today compared to 40 years ago.

Gen X did not have it the best. Prices in London started spiralling out of reach in the early 1990 - mid-1990s. The people that had it the best were the Boomers.

something's gone terribly wrong

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

I'm sorry, I know that's an annoying catchphrase but honestly, this is just what capitalism does. It has to find new markets or it will die, so it will literally do anything in order to do so. Cultural changes which were unimaginable 50 years ago have taken place because capitalism has manufactured them.

As an example which is relevant to many of us, we don't actually need industrialised childcare which now feels like the norm. We just need a couple to be supported to have an equitable split of work and childcare, and not to buy very much for the early years.

This is true even with housing costs the way they are.

Which is not to say that housing isn't fucked - it is, because it was always going to be once capitalism turned it into a commodity. That cannot be fixed under capitalism - no-one can realistically control it, because capitalism will collapse without the housing market. There is too much at stake, and everything is so diffused and interconnected that it is impossible to 'reform' it. It's a Hydra (and you can argue philosophically that it has an intelligence or at least, a life force).

This is why liberalism, which is the beard for capitalism in the sense that it promises to reform and humanise it, is a lie.

I'm no expert on economics but if you use the Bank of England inflation calculator you can see it. What cost £1800 now would have cost £900 in 1998. An £80k salary equivalent would be £153k today.

Much of that inflation has only been in the last 5 yrs though & wages have stagnated for decades

I couldn't agree more. I'm late 40's and the families of the friends I had at school who were doing fine financially all had two incomes coming in. It's a pattern I've seen recur again and again.

Houses back then could be bought for the cost of a Mars Bar now.

what?! No she doesn’t sound ungrateful! She doesn’t mention wanting anything from her parents and is merely pointing out that a dinner lady and school teacher with no family help would massively struggle to get by in today’s society much less have multiple abroad holidays and 200k in savings by retirement age.

They were born in the mid 50's and early 60's. I thought it sounded pretty similar, they had mid-level jobs, no family or financial help, managed to pay off the mortgage early, went abroad on holidays, had a car each which changed every few years, helped their kids when we needed it and now have comfortable pension and savings pots. It was a really nice family to grow up in, it never really occurred to me to think about money, and I'm now glad that they're both comfortable in retirement. But sometimes now I wonder if I'll be able give my children and future me a similar experience, feels unobtainable despite DH and I each earning slightly more than my parents did.

I expect they had some inheritance from their parents?

Absolutely this.

"Amassed"🙄

I am looking around my house and agree with this, I have had some of my second hand furtnititre for over 20 years and even the things that I bought new are as old as this. Initially, everything I furnished my home with was a cast off (some pulled out of skips), dontated or second hand.

what more do you expect from them?

Calm down, OP hasn't said she expects anything from them.

Think before you fire off one of these angry posts.

I agree with all of that. I was born in the mid 80s and life was much simpler then. But the cost of housing nowadays has gotten out of control. Both DH and I come from very similar families. Our dads both had a professional job (accountant and a teacher) and our mums stayed at home. I am one of five children and DH is one of four, we lived in relatively large family homes in good areas and although neither of us were taken on exotic holidays as children and lived more simply our parents could manage. Those family houses are now worth hundreds of thousands of pounds, mortgage paid off years ago and our parents (now in their mid 70s) are enjoying retirement and their holidays and comfortable standard of living.

I don't know anyone nowadays that is living that sort of lifestyle of one parent who is a teacher or equivalent profession, one staying at home and raising multiple children in a large detached home in the suburbs.

Most of us are now more educated than our parents were, both partners working, having fewer children than we would like due to the expense and are struggling with the cost of living. Something has gone very wrong somewhere along the line.

And I know you always get people saying "well we went without" or "young people fritter money away nowadays" but my god sometimes when you're both exhausted from working and trying to run a house and raise children and you're looking at the economic outlook and the cost of living and how there probably won't be a state pension by the time we get there....... sometimes you just say "fuck it" and buy yourself the avocado toast and the latte because it makes life a little bit more enjoyable.

It is ALWAYS the older ones who come up with the 'you're being ungrateful' or 'you don't know how hard we had it' nonsense.

Where did the OP indicate that she was not happy with her parents' financial support and where did anyone say that previous generations didn't have their own struggles? Of course the 70s and 80s came with its own challenges but so many things possible then are fiction now, including:

• Living a comfortable lifestyle with children, a mortgage and occasional holidays on one salary
• Being mortgage free before retirement. Most people can't even get on the property ladder without inheritance or financial assistance from their parents
• Having significant savings and pensions with barely any qualifications

The above does not even factor in the so-called 'luxuries' like vacations, upgraded cars, eating out regularly that came quite easily if 2 parents in the 80s were employed in half-way decent jobs.

And it is laughable how people attribute the disparity to things the younger generations purchase like coffee, new phones or fast fashion. Whilst unhealthy spending habits don't help, the reason so many of us can't get a mortgage is we're underpaid for our qualifications and mortgages have far outpaced our earnings.

There is so much data out there showing the difference in salary increases vs housing price increases across countries and over time. The former has increased proportionately whilst the latter has increased exponentially. And that's not counting the fact that the job market is saturated in many places with even entry level roles requiring degrees whilst 2-3 generations ago, you could walk into a good, secure job with just a school leaver's certificate...sometimes not even that.

Why are you all talking like this? OP hasn't mentioned jealousy or lack of gratitude at all. She's simply described the situation and then expressed amazement at how vastly different like is for different generations, all because of luck (i.e. when you happened to be born).

Lots of projection going on in three replies I think.

I know many families with exactly this. The worse thing imo is that those with children just won't be able to afford to give them the same standard of living their own parents gave them. You have to work twice as hard now to get half as much.

DH's parents are similar, but have significantly more in their retirement funds.

Aside from the cost of living/house prices, etc being so vast these days, they also were what people would describe as tight. Still are largely. They don't spend money on anything they don't need to spend money on, other than holidays and even they are very carefully planned. They'd never dream of staying in a luxury hotel if there's a cheap and cheerful option in the place they want to go.

They have a very modest home that is nicely furnished, but they will keep that furniture probably until they die. They have older cars, even though they could very easily afford a better one, they don't need to and they like what they have. They buy clothes maybe once a year and wear them until they're no good. They shop in Lidl once a week and do not top up unless they really have to. They have a small TV with no subscriptions, they have a National Trust card so spend their days out for free in NT places. They take a packed lunch. They just basically live a totally different way to me. And they have done well for it.

Why?

Bloody hell, give it a rest, OP is making a general post about finances have changed over generations.

There's nothing to suggest she begrudges her parents any of it.

We have so many more essentials to pay for now compared to our parents and grandparents.

Until 1990's there was no Internet, subscription TV, Sky TV was only for wealthier people, few 2 car households so only once set of insurance, MOT's etc and big ticket items like washing machines lasted for 20 years.

Come on, you’d have to be seriously lacking in I.Q to be genuinely amazed, in this scenario.

I think a lot of elder wealth is due to parents sticking together and not divorcing. Having the stability to pay off a mortgage and make regular savings over a long cumulative period certainly pays off. My dad certainly missed the boat due to divorce including a right to buy council house. My mother on the other hand has benefitted from her third husband's self made wealth.

I also can never understand older people not sharing their wealth with their children earlier than inheritances. I don't intend to allow the tax man to benefit when I can give my daughter a house deposit, the odd holiday etc now when she could do with the help. She's just qualifying as a lawyer and on appalling low wages for London. No chance of managing on her salary even when it does go up although she will eventually. God knows how people manage on non professional salaries.

£200K would fund the average amount of residential care required for two elderly people if they needed care in old age. It won't cover every eventuality, but it is a good provision to have.

That's very sad.

What was it that made you feel unloved?

My parents first mortgage was £9k, my dad had a final salary pension and when he retired early due to ill health he was given a £30k lump sum and his wage was matched for 2 years. I cannot imagine any pension doing that now. My mum gets his pension after he passed, her own work pension, her state pension, part of his state pension (used to get winter fuel). She has no mortgage and makes more each month than I do working full time.

My parents are the same. I grew up knowing the sacrifices they were making (Dmum in admin role, DDad manager in an office) to put me and my sibling through private school, their worries about lack of money and paying the mortgage and credit cards and loans. Both retired 15 years ago, mortgage paid off 20 years ago.

They were complaining about the winter fuel allowance being cut which made me worried about their finances, and ability for a survivor to cope of something happened to one of them. So I asked if they would be ok.

Apparently they have 6 figures in savings and can't spend all the money they have coming in each month from their pensions 😳

I can't imagine being in that boat in the future. I mean, I'm very pleased they won't be stuck financially. But also quite impressed they went from horrific money worries to being incredibly comfortable.

I'm not complaining or expecting hand outs. I am just very relieved they have financial security at last.