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Feel like I'm having a breakdown

13 replies

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:03

I feel like I'm having a complete breakdown. Last few years have been tough, my dd15 has been diagnosed with ASD, now completely out of school and receiving home tuition. Also under camhs and she is medicated for low mood and anxiety. I have dealt with all of that fine and still working full time. Last week we brought a new puppy home, i really thought this was the right thing to do and it has been for everyone else, he is absolutely adorable but I just can't cope. He's not even that hard but I'm dreading everything. Dh leaves for work at 5am so I get up with pup and I just can't stop crying. I went into work on Saturday and just broke down and sat on my office floor crying for 3 hours. It took me that long to get up the energy to leave. Dh has been amazing and doing everything. I just don't feel I can do it. Dd adores pup and I can see how good he is for her. I don't know how to move past this and how it can ever get better.

OP posts:
Easyonaweekend · 09/06/2025 10:08

Oh I think I was on your thread asking what to bring when you collected.

I did say that I didn’t think it was wise but, what’s done is done.

focus on fact it’s helping your daughter. In fact, leverage it. I still a routine where it’s your DD that walks the dog 2x a day and does ALL food prep etc.

She certainly has the time and it will give her responsibility and ownership and get her outside

IAmNeverThePerson · 09/06/2025 10:09

Puppy blues is a real thing. For me getting a puppy took be straight back to PND/PNA. Fun times.

It will get better. Tell your husband how you feel.

Can you do puppy classes yet? Go and have a coffee with a friend.

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:09

That won't have been a thread by me as I haven't made one about collecting puppy

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Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:12

I have told dh how I'm feeling and he's been amazing. Puppy is only 9 weeks so can't go out yet. I don't even know if it's just the puppy. I hate how I have brought this extra stress into my life and I don't know what to do. I keep trying to focus on the positives and how happy my dd is. I think it's making me feel worse because it's done the opposite for me. We decided to finally get the puppy because everything was going well and calm and now I've just switched.

OP posts:
Easyonaweekend · 09/06/2025 10:16

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:12

I have told dh how I'm feeling and he's been amazing. Puppy is only 9 weeks so can't go out yet. I don't even know if it's just the puppy. I hate how I have brought this extra stress into my life and I don't know what to do. I keep trying to focus on the positives and how happy my dd is. I think it's making me feel worse because it's done the opposite for me. We decided to finally get the puppy because everything was going well and calm and now I've just switched.

Your dd is old enough and has enough time on her hands to take on a lot of responsibility

Dontlletmedownbruce · 09/06/2025 10:16

If it helps OP i found the first few weeks with a puppy to be extremely stressful, not the puppy itself but bringing extra stress into my life when things were already stressful. I remember crying for no reason too. Try not to over think it, it's probably just your body and mind reacting to being pushed to your limit. Try to take breaks, breathe deep and get quiet time. I also had a similar response when we moved house at an extremely busy time in our lives. It was too much.

Maybe take a day or two off work to rest if you can. If it continues more than a week or two a Dr might give you something to take the edge off.

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:19

Dd already does so much. I'm so scared of her ever feeling overwhelmed though and going back to the place she was in. I honestly can't cope with feeling like this. Either way is bad - we give puppy back to breeder and it will destroy dd, if we keep him I'm breaking

OP posts:
Easyonaweekend · 09/06/2025 10:20

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:19

Dd already does so much. I'm so scared of her ever feeling overwhelmed though and going back to the place she was in. I honestly can't cope with feeling like this. Either way is bad - we give puppy back to breeder and it will destroy dd, if we keep him I'm breaking

What has she been doing?

Angelbunny · 09/06/2025 10:22

She gets up about 9 and is with him all day basically. Cleans up after him, plays with him. I have so much help and I still feel like this

OP posts:
Cumulusnotsonimble · 09/06/2025 10:27

I am sorry that you are under such strain op and feeling overwhelmed 💐

If it is only you atm op who is capable - when well - of looking after the puppy, then I am afraid to say that you might consider giving it back to the breeder as you are not in a good place to give it good care currently. It’s only been a week and you have many more weeks of broken nights to come. And the puppy is obviously the straw that has broken the camel’s back.

Please don’t feel guilty, believe me, I know what caring for a teen with ASD is like. It can drain you to the very core as you absorb their suffering and feel so distraught for them. It can be very debilitating. .

Op if you are at the point where you are having three-hour crying sessions at work, then you need help! Please please go to your gp. Get signed off sick. Get some meds on board and sign up for talking therapy.

I know that your dd loves the pup and it is doing her good and it will be hard to part with it now you have brought the dog home, but what your dd needs most of all right now is an emotionally healthy mum.

And if the dog has only been with you for a week then the sooner you get it back to the breeder, the better, before you miss those vital training windows and it becomes unmanageable and another strain on you.

Have a serious talk with your dd. Presumably if she is struggling herself atm, she won’t be capable of looking after the dog by herself while you recover? She may or may not understand you having to give the dog back but irrespective of that, you need to do the right thing. And you need to put yourself first atm. You can’t support others while you are so worn down yourself.

Good luck with everything. I hope you feel much stronger soon 💐

Edited: I have just read your update op about your dd doing a lot of the care. Are you getting up in the night? Is that the issue? Or is that having one more thing to feel responsible for is tipping you over the edge?

Nosetotoe · 09/06/2025 15:09

Is it the getting up at 5am to be with the pup that is what you’re doing that is impacting you you op? If so…. What about sharing this with DD?

are you crate training?

mumsie8 · 09/06/2025 15:18

I have no medical training but I dont think this is about the puppy. I think maybe it's more to do with all the repressed emotions you've been 'managing' while supporting your daughter. Now your daughter is doing better, maybe all those feelings are coming to the forefront and the puppy is just the 'front' for this.
Much love to you, maybe a conversation with your GP or therapy if ypu can afford it is so.ething to think about. Xxx

IAmNeverThePerson · 09/06/2025 15:40

I promise it does get better. Ddog is now 8 and has been a thing of wonder for many many years. She makes the DCs lives so much better. DS1 she instinctive knows when he’s fraught and just put her head on his lap. DS2 has a reason to go on ridiculously long walks when he’s had enough. DH took up running (something he would have never have done without the dog).

Puppy time is hard. For me it was being “responsible for having changed our lives irrevocably and now having yet another helpless thing depending on me”

great thing about puppies is the grow up quick.

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