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Original poster

What are your thoughts on death bed weddings?

32 replies

Lailla719 · 07/06/2025 20:10

Specifically when a couple has been together for a significant amount of time?

A couple I know married 2 days before the brides death. They’d been together 30 years, ages 60+.

I have mixed emotions. I’m pleased they did it but can’t help feeling angry that she was denied the day she really wanted. I don’t understand why it took her imminent death for him to finally agree.

OP posts:

ruethewhirl · 07/06/2025 21:44

Pineapplewaves · 07/06/2025 20:17

If it made the person who was dying happy, that they got to get married before they died then what does it matter what anyone else thinks or the background behind it?

The bride wouldn’t have done it if they didn’t want to and the husband was no longer married two days later so nothing lost on his part if marriage wasn’t something he wanted.

Totally agree. It’s no one’s business except the couple’s.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 07/06/2025 21:47

Lailla719 · 07/06/2025 20:20

Im sorry, I had no idea. I didn’t mean to upset anyone.

If it makes any difference, I’m a very close relative to the bride (I was just trying to keep it vague).

Im grieving and over thinking everything and just wondered what others thoughts were and if I had any ‘right’ to be angry. I don’t have anyone in real life to talk to about it.

Show quote history

Why not post about your specific circumstances then, rather than a blanket question/generalisation?

Titasaducksarse · 07/06/2025 21:48

I don't have a thought about it. Why would anyone, other than the people involved in that specific situation.

IReallyLoveItHere · 07/06/2025 21:50

It's usually about finance or paternity of the kids.

Marriage is a legal contract with lots of advantages and no downside if you're shuffling off very soon.

Whenindoubthugitout · 07/06/2025 22:14

Mine wasn’t a deathbed wedding. But we only got married when dh was diagnosed with a terminal illness. For all the reasons. NOK, tax, inheritance

and all of sudden being married to him was very very important as a statement of our love to the world.

Cynic17 · 07/06/2025 22:23

No inheritance tax between spouses.
It makes all the legal and financial consequences of a death much more straightforward.

IfYouPutASausageInItItsNotAViennetta · 07/06/2025 22:36

If somebody has perpetually refused to marry their partner, and it's very important to the partner to be married, I presume they weren't trapped in a non-married partnership and could always have left to find somebody else who would marry them?

I imagine that, for a lot of couples in this situation, the impending death gives them both pause to change what they really want.

Like the old saying 'the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago; the second best time is now', they probably realise that they can't change the past, even if they wish they could have; but they make a decision for now, which is all that any of us have it in our power to do.

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