He drinks

[Lonelyumbrella]

Please help me. I discovered my partner was secretly drinking 3 months ago. His ex wouldn’t let him see his two children and hasn’t for a year. She won’t show up to family court and refuses to engage with any of his family. He promised me he’d stop drinking but I am certain he has been drinking secretly and I found a bottle of half drank whisky hidden in his bag. I love him and don’t want to end it. I don’t know what to do. I am heartbroken.

Think about why he's not allowed to see DC or why anyone refuses to engage with him?
He's an alcoholic, which you have now discovered.. For the sake of your sanity make your plans and leave., Like everyone has. I speak from experience.

This is a good source of support https://smartrecovery.org.uk/smartfamily__friends/ and the ‘put the shovel down’ YouTube channel is very good too. My partner was a secret drinker and totally denied it for ages. It was quite gas lighting / crazy making for me. He showed up at my house one time clearly drunk and I totally lost it. The next morning I played a couple of those YouTube videos without comment and he apologised to me and admitted it. I was really upset as my mother was a drinker. It was a bit of a crisis / turning point when he saw how it was affecting me. I was totally clear that it was over for me if he kept drinking. I drew a line and he believed it and he didn’t want to lose me. He committed to quitting and going to meetings every week which he had done. He’s much healthier now and a totally different person in many ways. If he started drinking again I would leave him without hesitation and I think he knows that.

Thank you so much. I told him that it would be over if he drank again. I just don’t know if I can live without him.

I'm glad you've told him this for both your sakes and I hope your good relationship progresses.