“High intensity” toddler, anyone else?

[AtWitsEnd21]

Ive posted before about my toddler. DS is 20m. He was a very high needs baby, reflux, colic, wind etc. He cried all day every day for almost a year solid. Wouldn’t go into a sling and was only remotely content when in my arms. It was tremendously difficult.

Flash forward to now and he is still crying a lot. He is a bright little boy with lots of language and while this has improved things, he still cries more than is typical. There are no concerns in relation to developmental issue. He has been thoroughly checked over.

Im now convinced this is just his temperament.

Would love to hear from others with a high intensity toddler, when did things get easier?

My daughter is 2.5 and never had a meltdown just the occasional tantrums , very advanced speaker and played very nicely with her peers by doing associative play .. she never screamed , hit , push or bit .. if she cries and you ask her to stop she does and has always been able to follow multi step instructions , always tidies up after herself after dinner and sleeps 15 hours a day but what’s her problem according to nursery ? She doesn’t sit there whilst she does at home and at the library for activities .. she has been referred to the senco lead to put a plan in place for school and possible adhd . .. only based on one trait that didn’t conform to the norm .

I feel I should emphasise DS was thoroughly assessed as result of his benign motor delay. He saw consultants, paediatricians and specialist nurses. No one has ever expressed any concern in relation to ADHD or autism. I am trained and work in this area myself, there are no red flags. Just because a toddler has a difficult period does not mean something is pathologically “wrong” with them. DS is an exceptionally bright, joyful boy who had a very hard start in life and that’s really it.

Agree, it’s mad you even have to state ‘not every single thing which isn’t completely and utterly typical is autism or adhd’

The number of time people online have tried to diagnose both my children is utter madness. Poor sleeper? ADHD. Hitting kids at nursery? Autism. Doesn’t do everything the second they’re asked? PDA