Can you ever out arsehole and arsehole and beat them down

[LetMeAtom]

you knew the type the family relation that like to make little mean comments, compare you, try to provoke you etc

ive ignored for years, to no avail
I’ve tried to challenge, all you get is you’re too sensitive and you know what I mean

so now I’m thinking I’ll just be a right arsehole

so question is if you want to be an arsehole to someone how would you do it ?

Could you say something like “what happened in your life to make you so nasty? I feel really sorry for you. It must be hard living with all of that bitterness”.

People who are nasty do it to make themselves feel superior, I think their weak point is feeling pitied and looked down upon themselves.

It's quite hard without context but in a situation like this I've done something like,

Me: "Why would you say that?"
them: "Oh, you're so sensitive, it's just a joke"
Me (often while walking out of the room): "Well, it's not very funny, is it? No one is laughing."
Or "agree" with them in a sarcastic way eg
"what? you think I'm a terible cook? Brilliant, I won't make any more meals and we'll come to yours next time."

or if it's a comment that's made a lot,
"That's just not true"
"Oh, you're so sensitive, it's just a joke"
"But it's a joke you make every time and I never find it funny so can you please stop?"

I'm not normally quick enough in real life for quick instant responses, but a couple of times I've managed to go back with a sort of,
"Haha, well, at least I don't have xxx" and turn it back into a "jokey" insult on them.

Another strategy I've employed with family, albeit family who are thoughtless rather than genuinely mean, is to lean in: "I know, I know, I talk too much but I'm very funny and you love me anyway."

I would just lift my eyebrows, lean slightly forward and say “Ah, I see.” and then depart, even in their mid sentence (preferably with a tinkly laugh).
Remember, never wrestle with a pig because you’ll both get dirty but the pig will enjoy it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Going through the same with my brother. It's hard...

Get them to repeat what they've just said. If it's in a group then others will be aware and then start listening, therefore making twat features uncomfortable hopefully.

I wouldn’t bother, however hard I would go NC and if that means I don’t see other family members so be it

I may try and see those other family members another way, so say it’s your dada I would ask Mum if we could meet when I know dads not around, same for siblings

Just go NC however hard it is

This would actually be very effective, i think

Yes I've seen someone else do this, there response was repeat what was said, some dig about being old
And he replied ohhh it's what old people do..... oh right..... in a kinda disappointed tone, but it was enough to kinda make a point

It's not just me this AH is rude to

Yes. Why do they think you are over sensitive?

If they have form for certain digs or putting everyone down have a bingo card in your bag and silently tick things off untill you can go "bingo we have had the full house of put downs today" You can also just do this mentally to keep it from getting you down.

Treat them like a really boring person at a party; tune out a bit, look over their shoulder occasionally as they’re talking and when they’ve finished just pat them on the arm and politely/patronisingly make your excuses and dash off to talk to someone else. (If sitting at the table just turn to your other side). Crush them with your indifference and let them feel you were indulging them for as long as you had to but were bored to tears.

Yes this could work