Is there any such thing how to kindly end a friendship ? How would you want to be broken up with ?

[Freedomseeker2025]

Just doenst seem to be an easy way to ever break off a friendship

How often do you usually see this person at the moment? I think that makes a difference to whether it's feasible to just fade out of her life or whether you need to expressly let her know that you don't want to see her.

If she puts you down why not question that and not be drawn into a discussion or accept an apology? She knows what's happened, you haven't had to go out of your way

Right? I mean, if you don’t like someone’s company, just stop making plans with them. It’s not like you signed a contract and you need to give notice.

If it were me, I would want to be told. There is nothing worse than being ghosted, or the slow drifting apart, where it takes time to realise that the other person isn't responding as previously and presumably wants to end the friendship.

Just let me know. Explain so that I can get 'closure' rather than wondering what happened or what I did. If I've behaved badly, been thoughtless or I'm boring, I'd rather know and I might be able to change for the next friendship. Say something like: this is not easy to say but the friendship no longer works for me. The reasons are....examples are....really sorry but I want to call it a day etc., etc.

However, I accept it's hard to do that, it takes quite a mature person to go to that much trouble. But kinder in the end.

Depends.

If you'd prefer she'd change her behavior so you can remain friends, then tell her exactly what you've told us and leave the ball in her court.

If you're just done and would prefer not to go into it and no longer wish for her friendship whatever she does, just dont contact her and be unavailable when she contacts you.

For what its worth, I'd much rather be told so I have a chance to address my own behavior with other friends in future.

Soz that was badly written! I meant briefly explain an example of what she's said that's shitty, you don't have to say 'amd that's why I don't want to speak again ' just reduce contact a lot

You’re thinking very kindly of someone who doesn’t think kindly of you.

if you can toggle your feelings a bit, then it might become easier to say, actually I’m not up for hanging out any more, and leave it at that.

I’ve had something similar recently I wasn’t in a good place myself and I realised this ‘friend’ was sucking so much energy from me in a negative way. Anyway I explained I had a lot going on and wasn’t up for meeting up etc but she wouldn’t let it go and continued to contact me intensively. So I don’t really know what the answer is. Whether it would have been easier to just explain to her however I just didn’t have the energy or capacity at the time.

There is no nice way of telling someone you don’t want to be friends anymore!!!

Either go vague and / or delay agreeing any meet ups.

Or tell her that you have a lot on at the moment and haven’t got brain space for socialising.

How old are you both, and how long have you been friends?
I would probably just not be as responsive to calls and texts and when she asks why, just tell the truth.

I’d probably just tell her that I’ve found the ‘banter’ etc too much for me and want to put some space between us as it’s just not enjoyable for me any more.

Yes this does seem the most natural thing to do, think I'm gonna do this, anything else just seems mirehurtful

Thanks for helping me think it through

In this situation I think going low contact and letting the friendship fizzle out would be best. The friendship sounds one-sided and your friend dictates what you do or where you go, makes rude remarks to you and it isn't a supportive, caring friendship. If you have children then say you can't go out because they need you or work is hectic etc. The gradual decline in seeing her less and not getting into lengthy messages and putting her on silent so messages don't pop up on the notification would help. You seem like a kind person, but sometimes you have to be a bit stern when others treat you this way.