Is it this hard for everyone?

[PizzaSophiaLoren]

DD’s back from university. The arguments, strops and criticisms are killing me.
is it like this for everyone?
I get that there is a transition, but I’m finding it very challenging. I’m feeling bombarded, picked on and vulnerable.

This isn't the first time I've seen a thread about this so you're definitely not alone. It's not something I've had with my daughter but I've got 2 younger kids so who knows what the future may hold if they go to uni.

What was your relationship like before she went?

Our dd is only back for a few weeks as doing a nursing course so less holidays ! She is generally ok as is student ds. However our other son who lives with us full time is being moody and selfish. He refused to give me a chocolate from a packet he had earlier yet we provide him with meals seven days a week. Not sure what it is with selfish kids. I think there is just a point where they are ready to leave but it's hard for kids to do that these days. I think when they are at Uni and have all the freedoms and then it's probably hard coming home for the summer. My dd hates coming home, she has no friends here.

They are ok with us and their siblings as individuals- it’s more to do with family dynamics and habits. As if they’ve left home and are suddenly wise and sage. Except that they’re not.

Is this her first year at uni? I think you need to have a frank conversation about her being an adult and being required to be respectful. It is a strange transition where they think they're grown up but come home and act like children and she needs that pointing out to her.

I think you’re right. I‘m not sure how well she’ll take it.

My dad would talk a daily walk down into the suburb where we lived. He would come back at the start of the uni holidays telling me that such-and-such shop were looking for summer staff. That was my hint that he wasn’t having mooching around the house all summer (he worked from home).