Tips to survive long work day to a conference...as an introvert

[MaybeItsTimeForMeNow]

Any suggestions please. Upcoming long journey 2hrs min each direction via train to an all day conference I don't want to go to. Means missing my kids (3 under 7) get up and go to bed 😞 travelling across the country solo, when I'm a home bird that doesn't like being thrown into crowds. It's been advertised as a brilliant opportunity with hours of networking time. I hate it already. Luckily I'm not presenting but will be part of huddle type groups.

How to kill the journey, speed up the day and survive?. And please pray for me the train connections work 😬

Propanolol and ear phones

It's only one day. Take a book, listen to blogs or audio books etc. Take water. That's the train sorted.
Just because you are in a huddle or break out group, doesn't mean you have to say much. Make notes, or look as if you are. If called on to speak, summarise what the previous speaker said and say you agree with it. Go for a walk, outdoors if possible.
You might be surprised and it passes quickly.

Can you travel there (after DC's bedtime) the night before? And will you be able to find somewhere quiet to hide for a bit at lunchtime, or take yourself outside for a walk?

Good active most cancelling headphones.
Beta blockers

When you're there, make sure that you have breaks outside, away from people. Have a trusted person who can whisk you away when you're feeling overwhelmed (my line manager's great for this).
Don't do stuff that's an option if you're struggling with it.

I get through these things with treats. So a nice coffee to look forward to for the journey. A new audiobook perhaps.

Conference networking also happens pre conference. What I mean by that is contact people now and arrange to catch up or meet them so when you get there you aren't just aimlessly wandering around people but you already have meetings in. That way it's targeted and fruitful rather than spending an entire hour talking to someone who you then realise is the part of the waiting staff (albeit more interesting than the delegates).

If you don't know anyone get on linkedin and ask who will be there and arrange some meet ups that way.

Introversion is not a disability. Take a book to read in the train (presumably a rare luxury with young kids), enjoy catching up with people or meeting new contacts and then enjoy a train journey home by yourself.

@HermioneWeasley I never suggested it was a disability...

Thanks for the advice all.

I go "to the loo" regularly in such situations. Just to be able to shut the door and be alone for 5 minutes. I find that really helps. As for the train journey, as someone else said, headphones are your friend. International sign for "do not talk to me"

Train travelling is lovely for an introvert I find, sitting with your book, chilling?

Headphones & make sure you get some downtime eg get outside in the breaks for a walk rather than mingle & 'network'
Headphones & a book signal 'not wanting to talk' quite well.

I have kids a similar age and I would relish a train journey by myself. What would I do? Scroll on my phone, read a book, reply to any messages, drink a nice coffee, stuff myself with my favourite snacks.

To survive the day I would wear something new, chat to people about non work stuff as much as possible. Eat and drink the free food. Nip to the loo a lot, take a detour and have a nose round the venue, bit more chit-chat.

Buy a nice magazine at the station on the way home, more nice coffee, more snacks. And embrace the one night you’re not doing bedtime.

It is one day - don't build it up and set yourself up for it to be crap.

I do work day trips 4 hrs+ hrs each way on the train regularly. I quite enjoy the time and space. You need self care - nice breakfast , relaxing podcasts on way there. Nice dinner snacks and netflix series or film way home. No cooking dinner or wresting people to bed that night - that's a treat in my eyes!

As for the day - just fake it till its time to go home. I hope its good.

Oh lord I have to do this regularly and I am very introvert, it’s fucking torture.

Top tips: train journey, laptop out immerse myself in work. Travel time goes so fast, mind occupied.

Get to venue: seek out coffee. Keep eyes peeled for familiar faces..stick with a fellow quiet introvert. These are allies.

At venue: look at conference agenda and plan where you will be going and which lectures you are attending. Take copious notes in preparation for feeding back once back to work.

Seek more coffee.

Sit alone during lectures, you don’t need to mask or make conversation or interact with anyone. Concentrate on the lecture.

Find a corner and a seat to get laptop out to answer emails etc, again, no need to interact with anyone between lectures.

It’s not so bad, as I say, I do this often and regularly so have a bit of a routine now.

I’m another one who has genuine daydreams about a 4 hour round trip on a train without having to deal with children, what a treat!

Do you know someone else who will be going? I find it much easier to work a room in a pair.

I also find it helpful to behave as though I am hosting the event, so that I have to ask lots of questions.
Sometimes I set myself a mission such as to find out something I didn’t know before (doesn’t matter what) about a certain number of people (eg 10) over the whole day, or to arrange a coffee at a later date with eg 3 people. Once I have achieved my missions (aka been fairly visible) I have no qualms about taking myself off until dinner, or if there is none in sloping off home. Before then if I need a break I nip to the loo.
Train time = either work or watching downloaded tv shows to relax.

OK so admittedly if I can get a seat, I can stick headphones on for the journey. Albeit I used to commute via train connections and I lost count of so many times i was left stranded at a station for hours so that has me on edge 😬 plus when I say introvert I actually mean, I hate most people I don't like 🤣 so chewing gum, typing loudly etc puts me right on edge... I know, I sound awful.

The conference points are helpful, I can scribble away, look to walk around a little bit and come up with some general questions to at least make me feel prepared..

I've lost so much confidence in the past 7 years (from going part time) I'm like a different person. I've worked with the same team for so long they don't see it, but outside my comfort zone I'm dying inside..I wish I was better

If it's a conference, I'm assuming there will be talks throughout the day. So hopefully you can just sit in your seat and listen to the various speakers for most of the day. Or will they break you into focus groups?

At break time or lunch time, I'd suggest eating as quick as you can and then make some excuse like you need to nip out and make a phone call. Or say you want a bit of fresh air and head outside the conference venue for a little walk.

I'm glad that OP clarified what introvert means to her, LoL

@lljkk

Why

I think the people saying train journeys are a treat can’t have been on the trains I’m usually on 😂

OP I hate these things too. The world is designed for extroverts and even though my place of work seem to think they’re all over diversity in all it forms, can’t seem to get its head around the fact that some people dread being forced into things like this.

At breaks I would forget about networking and take the opportunity to get outside and get some fresh air, or if there are 3 breaks, network for one and use the others to decompress.I used to quite enjoy these things, but menopause seems to have taken that away, at a recent conference I went out for a walk and with hindsight should have just bought a sandwich and had my lunch alone as well.

Where are these calm train journeys people are talking about. Im always on a train thats packed, someone is playing TikToks out loud, I’m stood in the foyer by the door trying not to make eye contact with the weird bloke in front of me, it’s hot, my back is hurting. If by a miracle I get a seat, there’s usually someone stood in the aisle whose bag keeps bumping me in the face.

Definitely book a seat when you buy your train ticket if you can, and don't be afraid to kick someone out of it if necessary "excuse me, you're sitting in my reserved seat." If they don't move, get the ticket inspector to shift them.

I’m a fellow introvert and 100% empathise with OP.

At work conferences I find the structured sessions okay but it’s the informal networking that I really dislike, and am rubbish at. I think I give off strong ‘don’t talk to me’ vibes! Also I’m not senior enough that I’m the kind of person that others seek out to network with, if that makes sense.

I find setting myself a - realistic for me - networking challenge can be helpful, for example talk to three people throughout the day I’ve never met before. This then means when you’re back in the office you can be one of those smug people who can say “I was talking to x from organisation y at the conference on Tuesday, she’s also working on z, do you want me to put you in touch?”.

But mainly, at conferences I need to respect my limits, which in reality means a lot of breaks spent going for walks, hiding in the loo, and spending time sitting in corners working/mumsnetting.

I'm an introvert, but come on: it's one day. Just get on with it. We can't all be 100% comfortable 100% of the time, that's life.