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Left out of group

1 reply

Herewegoagainno100 · 01/06/2025 19:26

so I’m in a group of 6 schoolfriends. We have a WhatsApp group. 4 have remained very close. 2 of the 4 know each other from very early childhood. Other two lived close to each other for a while. .
I was close to one for a while but I realise now we were more drinking/ social buddies.
so basically I only get contacted at birthdays and Christmas to chip in etc. And I’ve kinda realised that maybe i don’t have much in common with this group anymore and I think they must feel the same as I only get the contacts as above.
I’m thinking it’s time for me to let the group go and move on but I feel mean doing this. But I don’t know why. Whenever I attend their birthdays I feel left out as they talk about all the times they’ve met in between. And I just don’t have that connection with any of them anymore. So there’s another birthday coming up and I know I’ll feel the same and probably shouldn’t go just to feel left out but then I feel mean. I realise this all sounds very schooldrama. And to be honest my life’s changed a lot since school and I don’t feel I’m the same person these days so maybe it’s a reminder of a time I don’t want to relive.
so basically I feel like I’m clinging onto this group for the shared memories. But it just doesn’t feel the same now that they are all so close and I’m not included. So do I just bow out now or attend the birthday first and call it quits after, as I feel a bit mean. Not sure why as I’m convinced they’ll not be bothered if I’m there or not!

OP posts:
Wethers121 · 01/06/2025 21:14

Let it go. Sometimes friendships move on as we grow and change. Life is too short to attend parties where you don’t want to be and others aren’t particularly bothered about you being there. If you don’t want to go cold shoulder, I’d probs lay just make an excuse for the next years plans and things will probably drift off from there.

I’ve done the same with the odd friend in the last year. Where the friendship doesn’t serve me or is draining, I’ve just let it go. I don’t have the time for complicated friendships and I’d like more time with people who uplift and make me feel good.

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