I need your advice please:
I’ve lived in cities my whole life and never needed a car. I’m now in my late 30s in the suburbs with a kid and am learning to drive as a late learner.
When I first started I was incredibly nervous.
But with time and practice, I’ve overcome the nervousness and made some great progress.
I was ready to test. Unfortunately, my driving instructor moved back to his home country before I could get a test in time - the waiting list is so long. So I got a new instructor.
So after a month waiting to start lessons with him, I stated back again - new instructor, new car. This instructor is very different. He’s quite impatient at times. I’d got used to the other car which was petrol, and this one is a diesel, so it took a lesson or two to adjust. I stalled twice and the told he I was going to “break the car”. I found out towards the end of the lesson that he was having car trouble, and pissed off with all of the repairs he’s having to pay for. He keeps on mentioning that I’m wasting fuel.
The thing I’m finding scary is his sometimes if I don’t appear to follow his directions to a T, he reaches over and suddenly grabs the wheel in such dramatic way, without any warning, which frightens the life out of me. For example, the other day, I was on a two land road with a bus lane ending on the lane on the left. I was left turning, so he told me to move over after the bus lane ended. I signalled to move and while mirror checking he grabbed the wheel really quickly and swung the car over into the left lane. There was no one behind us and there was a considerable stretch before the left turn.
The lessons are 90mins. He takes at least 15 minutes to sit in the car without driving and talk to me like he is a therapist. I suspect he does this so as to save on fuel. He did another dramatic wheel pull in my last lesson which again, where is a dramatic swerve, as I was not responding quick enough and it frightened me as I thought we were swerving to avoid a crash - I got such a fright, cried, and now he has suggested I go to trauma therapy alongside my driving… it’s affected my confidence.
I fully accept I’m not a perfect driver yet, I’m still learning and he needs to keep us safe on the road, but I find him impatient and aggressive. My last driving instructor never did this. If he ever needed to intervene, he did so calmly and I never felt aggression, and he was very reassuring afterwards.
This driving instructor told me in my last lesson that he’s now got a new car, so the car will change in our next lesson. I feel anxious he’s going to be dead weird and protective about his new car, and I’m dreading the lesson with him next week.
In the mix of all of this, I really need to get myself capable and a driving licence for my kid. It’s hard to find an instructor. Should I grin and bear it, or find a new instructor?
Also, any other tips from instructors or aged learners like me would be much appreciated,
thank you!