Why are holidays with young kids so hard?!

[treetop122]

Just arrived on a little holiday. 3 kids (10,5,2). 3 bed apartment , very nice. Uk holiday (1.5 hours down the road. Only staying for 3 nights, just a short get away (all we could afford this year).

why is everything so bloody hard? Packing took the best part of a day. Air B&B means we have had to bring everything (toilet roll/washing up liquid). Kids are so over excited! They are running around the apartment like headless chickens. We have worked so hard to gather all the bloody equipment we need to go away for 3 days, the food, the beach stuff etc etc…

I just feel so miserable (and ungrateful). I feel it is important for the kids to come away. But it feels like such hard work for such over excitement.. we will be having to pack everything up again in 2 days time.

what am I doing so wrong? Am I just a miserable horrible person? Hoping the kids have a great time, but why can’t I enjoy it? I just see it all as so much work!

god I sound awful!

(also just to add, kids get 2 weeks off for this half term which is amazing… although not for me as I am also a teacher but my school only get a week.. so another reason why it is just a short break).

I completely get you, we just got back from a week UK Break, I am exhausted. I was ill all week and had a long journey home today, the car was so full of stuff, dirty laundry everywhere. I feel so tired. We have guests tomorrow and the house is wrecked but I have gone to bed as I feel so ill and tired. I want to enjoy these times but I don't seem to enjoy them much, which makes me sad. I love the kids so much but they are so tiring.

Just done a week with my 7, 5 and 2 year old. Felt the same. Really deflated and felt crap that I found it difficult. Mainly their behaviour really. Then found myself reading posts on MN where someone replies "wow that's so sad. My best memories are simple bucket and spade holidays I did with my 8 kids. I would give anything to relive those times'...

It is hard. We didn’t go anywhere until DS was 5 for this reason (Covid didn’t help but in hindsight I was glad that I never had to think about it!)

3 kids is also hard work, hats off to you! I hope you manage to enjoy it a bit.

Same shite, different location.
The end.

Because children are hard work! And being somewhere new men’s that the little things at home that make life easier aren’t around.

Hang in though- we are having a great time on a city break with our 12 and 15 year olds now, even went out for a solo dinner date last night so it does get easier eventually!!

I feel like the 2 year old is the issue in our cases, perhaps? Mine is literally the easiest 2 year old ever - but still- she's 2, and that is very limiting. For eg we were on the ferry today and the big ones were vegging in front of the TV- I felt no guilt as we were up at 6 and we were all totally shattered- but the baby needed walking around, managing, minding - its tiring!! Even a trip to the beach can only really last as long as the baby can handle it. I feel like 2027 is my year 😁

Thank you for not telling me how awful I sound!

we didn’t go away last year as the then 1 year old would have made things too tricky… so I feel even worse that this year it is still just as hard!

the 2 older ones are still not asleep.. they just find everything so over exciting and are wired! it will be a miracle if they sleep through the night and will be up at the crack of dawn I’m sure!! (2 year old never sleeps through the night anyway!!)

i do think air B&Bs are best for us as we need the space, but they are hard work! Remembering all the food and cleaning products you need. Plus you need to be out on departure day by 10am with all beds stripped and bins taken out etc…

we couldn’t check in until 4pm so just had dinner in the apartment tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will be a bit more chilled out!

With young children it’s often easier to go away to resort type places like Center parcs, bluestone, holiday parks in the UK or all inclusive resorts if going abroad. They have activities, pools and cafes right there and lots of outdoor space and play parks. We go to these and it’s not very stressful and we’ve always had a good time.

Agree, it's bloody exhausting with young kids.

We went away on a UK break at Easter, my youngest is 7. It's the first holiday that had actually felt like a holiday and not just the stress that you have described! I'm now feeling like better times are ahead!

It's not just you, I think the number of kids, their ages and the age gaps all make life really hard when you're not at home. Fingers crossed it gets better!

3 days are awfully short, it's just not worth the work and especially a s/c accomodation.

I never expected a holiday to be like home, I except that things will be different and especially things like food and bedtimes are never the way they are at home.

Yes, returning with washing is something I don't like but that's part of it.

I loved all our holidays.

yes it is hard. I used to find it a nightmare getting packed and stuff, and then we were skint so wherever we were on holiday was always basic compared to our own house, crap bed, no dishwasher. Hang in there - as you say, you do it for them so they get a holiday x

We've always enjoyed our self catering weeks away, in the UK and abroad. I think the key is to recognise that you're still parenting - all the bedtimes etc still have to be done. You are, in many ways, 'parenting in a different location'. But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.
We tend to go out for the day, have lunch out (either a picnic or a pub/pizza lunch) and then have a supermarket shop fridge full of stuff we can do an easy tea with. DH might bbq or else a ready meal or just cheese on toast, salad etc. Bottle of wine for the adults once the kids are in bed.
Yes packing takes a while but if there's a washing machine (I'd never stay anywhere without one) you don't need a week's worth of clothes. Have a supermarket order delivered to your holiday house. I've never stayed anywhere where washing up liquid isn't supplied.
Get the DC to help carry things from the car and unpack/pack.
I think it just depends what your expectations are. What are you comparing it to?

I agree that only going away for 3 nights is part of the problem. Unfortunately this was financially our only option as it is effectively in term time now, so much cheaper. I was reluctant to come away as a lot of work for only a few days. I feel quite miserable about that too as I can’t afford to take the kids away for longer. Hard work and such little time is making me miserable.. so I’m feeling extra guilty about the kids getting such a rubbish holiday.

Holidays are a luxury I know, so I am grateful we have been able to do something and the accommodation is nice!!

Also, thank you everyone for being so nice!

Have you tried a caravan holiday? I am super sorry we didn’t do them when the kids were young. Have done a few now and it’s super easy. Still plenty to pack but we had a pool to visit and a shop on site and just kept the food really simple. Out of holiday time it’s really affordable too.

Bring disposable dishes = save washing up. I only bring cleaning wipes. 1-2-3 and wipe.
Very basic food. Or a trip to local supermarked.
All the easiest solutions.

Being on vacation woth young children is mind-numbingly hard work.

just to answer, I’m not sure what I am comparing it to really. We have been abroad once when we only had 1. Been to centre parks when we had 2. Been to two Air B&B holidays since we have had 3.

So I don’t think I am comparing it to anything really. Fully happy to continue to parent whilst on holiday. I think it just exhausts me planning and packing for 3 kids. Planning the food shops (we got a click and collect order for when we arrived here). Car full of stuff (including the 3 night lights my 5 year old needs.. yes 3!!). The kids get so wound up that they also don’t seem to enjoy it either… so I guess I’m feeling like my busy stressful life just got packed up in to 3 small suitcases.. my life is still busy and stressful but only I am supposed to be happy and relaxed.. but I’m not. I am more busy and stressed because I had to move my busy and stressed life to a lovely apartment, where I don’t know where anything is 🤣

I dont mean this disrespectfully, but I do think you’ve chosen a very difficult type of holiday. Because effectively you’ve got all the same chores / jobs of being at home, with having to cook, entertain children etc, without half the stuff you have at home to make your days easier.

Have you considered a holiday park type of place? Whether a caravan park or Butlins? Whilst pre-kids this is nothing I’d ever have considered, now I have children it’s ideal. There’s lots of entertainment for the kids to wear themselves out, when they don’t sleep you can just keep them out at the mini disco until they’re exhausted, if you go to Butlins you can even get food hall packages for cheap so you don’t have to cook.

I don’t find holidays with kids hard. We have to travel to see all family which I fine miserable incredibly hard work. We pack and travel for hours to be somewhere not set up for children having to bend to everyone else’s whims and schedules but our own it seems like at times.

For holidays we pick exactly where we are going so we are excited and looking forward to it.
Maybe it’s because we regularly have to pack but I dont find it that much of a chore. More so at the minute because the youngest still needs a bottle and random baby/ toddler paraphernalia but the 4 year old already seems easy.

Can totally empathise. Every holiday we've had since having two has felt like hard work overall. So much bloody planning, packing, cleaning, unpacking, washing.. the likes of Airbnb where you have to clean as well doesn't help! We did eurocamp in France couple of years ago and cleaning the cabin took forever..them we got a surly telling off from the stroppy camp rep for leaving 10 mins after the leave time!

I used to love the planning and packing but i dont enjoy doing it for more people than just me!!

.. I remember my DP saying something like it's mostly a slog for a few momens of joy! I think we carry on trying because of that..we know we will get some joyful moments and it breaks up the often humdrum existence at home :)

That's said we did a few nights away locally camping recently and I feel like it's getting easier now the younger one is 3 and sleeping well... so will try to be positive! :)

Sorry didn't mean to quote you OP!

This. We have a large Haven site 1.5 hours away. Been going since mine were toddlers. They love it. Large swimming complex with a great kids pool, waterslides, wave machine etc. Lots on site to do. I have videos of my dd at 2 watching the ducks from the caravan. As we stayed by the lake one year.

I think the problem isnt holidays but self catering holidays. It’s the worst of all worlds with kids. Going somewhere new that’s probably less nice than your house, but less well set up, without all your normal things for entertaining kids and then throw in food shopping in advance and cooking in someone else’s poorly stocked kitchen? No thanks.

The reality is that it's really hard work, but you can feel proud of yourself for doing it. In years to come, you might even look back with rose tinted glasses and just remember the best bits.

Talked into a camping trip by friends once in Wales. Torrential rain every day. Everything got wet. On day three we packed up and went home. After that we decided it was better to stay home have day trips and go abroad when we'd saved enough money.