6 yo boy behaviour, “normal” or ADHD?

[Intheweedsandwest]

I hear that loads of 6 yo boys are fountains of energy. Mine (6.5) seems to be going through a phase. He is a lovely sweet boy. Lately, he talks all the time, pushes boundaries, is working out how to be annoying and delighting in it. “Why? Why do I have to go upstairs? Why do I have to clean my room? What happens if I continue clean my room,m” Etc. Also has loads of energy (loves to pretend he’s a Nonjago running and jumping and kicking but when it’s time to tidy his room he “soooo tiirrred.” We were at a garden centre today and he asked me about a dozen times what this or that flower was, that hedge clipper, etc., and often goes to grab them . (I tell him we look with our eyes, not with our hands.) I’m knackered!

is this normal or does this seem like ADHD? I don’t remember him being like this when he was tiny. Focus at school is alright bht foes get distracted in subjects he’s not keen on (maths mostly).

One of the reasons that it’s hard to make diagnoses at a fairly young age is because all children are very active when young and all have difficulty focusing.

the question is how much he stands out from his peers. If he does have adhd as they all grow up the other children will develop much more and longer focus and will have less need to be active.

6 is pretty early to be able to tell unless it’s very, very obvious.

either way, with kids that have lots of energy the best advice is wear them out. Lots of sports, lots of activities, lots of extra curriculars.

He sounds like a normal 6 yo who maybe needs some firmer boundaries. ADHD isn't a synonym for naughty or irritating.

@MrsSunshine2b thank you, that's exactly what I'm asking. I feel like people nowadays very quickly point the finger at a label when perhaps it's just normal behaviour? His teachers have said he generally focusses well but sometimes can be unfocussed and a bit disruptive (not extremely but he might prefer to talk to a friend during snack time whilst they're meant to be quiet and needs to be reminded 2-3 times to be quiet.) What sorts of boundaries would you suggest putting in place? He can be quite strong willed but also is sensitive and feels upset if he feels shamed. We have always done immediate consequences (generally a toy being taken away, sometimes no bedtime story if it's very naughty). He doesn't have screen time so that's not an option, I know it is used for many children to behave.

He sounds very different to my DS, now 13, who has a diagnosis. DS would never, as soon as he could move independently, stay still. Toddler groups were out, he would get up and wander about, if I tried to get him to sit like the other kids he would squirm and yell. No chance with circle time at nursery. Needed a lot of movement breaks at school. No interest in screens whatsoever until he got to late primary school, no attention span really to watch anything. Never 'overtly' disruptive as such, but did like to get up and play about with things in class which was a pain for the teacher.
He tried a couple of groups when younger eg cubs, judo but the leaders weren't keen on him as he wouldn't sit as still or pay as much attention as the other kids. Did much better in football and athletics classes.
Does any of this sound familiar OP? How he compares to his peers is a big thing. I had other mothers joke that their kids had 'no attention span' but it wasn't them who was having to go into school for meetings with the SEN teacher

ADHD is a neurological difference that children are born with, so there will be differences you can track all the way back- things like difficulties with organising themselves in the same way as other children the same age, avoiding tasks that take sustained effort, being quicker to anger. If you saw nothing different before now, I think ADHD is unlikely.

I'm obviously not in your house every day and it might be that he's just pushing boundaries at the moment and there's nothing you need to change. We try and stick to logical consequences and make the consequence relevant to the behaviour. So he grabs a hedge clipper in the garden centre after you've told him not to, and he has to hold your hand the rest of the way around because he's shown he's not safe. He won't clean his room, so you pick everything up, but anything he left on the floor goes in a box and he can have them back when he's shown he's grown up enough to tidy them up himself.