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How long is it okay to stay if someone invites you in for tea?

8 replies

Ailie15 · 31/05/2025 19:53

Yesterday, my DD was invited over to her bestfriend's house to play. I get on really well with her mum, we’ve been to each other’s houses a few times, shared gifts etc. and always have a friendly chat.

When I dropped DD off around 5:30, the mum kindly invited me in for tea. I’d already finished work and thought it might be nice to catch up, I said yes. She served tea and cakes (at around 6) for all the kids, hers, mine, and a few others she was looking after and we sat down for a chat.
She’s very talkative, and I didn’t want to seem rude by leaving too quickly after finishing my tea. I did mention I’d be heading off soon a few times, and she offered to drop my daughter home, but I said I’d just take her with me.

The conversation kept flowing and every time I checked my phone, she brought up something new to talk about. Before I knew it, it was 7pm!

I felt a bit embarrassed for staying so long and mentioned a couple of times, “I’m sorry for taking up so much of your time,” but she kept the conversation going. I apologised again when I left, just to be sure I hadn’t overstayed my welcome.

Now I can’t help but feel a little self-conscious, like she might think I’ll always want to come in and stay every time I drop my daughter off, which really isn’t the case. I just didn’t want to be impolite!

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 31/05/2025 19:54

She invited you she carried on talking
It s fine

ButteredRadishes · 31/05/2025 19:57

Wowsers, you over think a lot!

Imsososohungry · 31/05/2025 19:58

But you weren't taking up her time, she was taking up yours. Do you usually worry about overstaying your welcome?

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Ailie15 · 31/05/2025 20:01

Imsososohungry · 31/05/2025 19:58

But you weren't taking up her time, she was taking up yours. Do you usually worry about overstaying your welcome?

I don’t have many friends, so I don’t often visit other people’s homes. Honestly, I’m not always sure what’s considered appropriate when it comes to how long to stay.

OP posts:
GauntJudy · 31/05/2025 20:02

Sounds fine. I overthink like this too. In my case I can also never tell if the invite to come in for tea is genuine!

Imsososohungry · 31/05/2025 20:04

Ailie15 · 31/05/2025 20:01

I don’t have many friends, so I don’t often visit other people’s homes. Honestly, I’m not always sure what’s considered appropriate when it comes to how long to stay.

It really depends on how well you get on with the person and how long you feel like staying. It sounds like she was happy to have you there otherwise she would have stopped talking. Did you like her?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 31/05/2025 20:09

What an utterly British quandary! 😊🩷

gamerchick · 31/05/2025 20:11

You weren't taking up her time OP, it was the other way around. She wanted you to stay. Stop overthinking it.

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