Is this a thing? Landscaping gardeners lying about family crisis then ghosting you. ‘Cos it’s happened twice

[bellinisurge]

We have a small overgrown back garden that needs new fencing and decking removed and replaced with paving. We went through “Check a trade” and matched it with local Facebook recommendations. Start Date and price agreed (about £5k) then silence. When he didn’t turn up, I contacted him and he explained he’d had a family crisis. I accepted that, wished him well, then started looking again. Found another. Same thing happened. Start date and price agreed (about £6k). Then , after a no show, another family crisis and a promise to get back to me after I chased. Again utter silence.
Is “agreeing a £5k job then going silent and, when chased, faking a family emergency to get out of it” a thing?

I think that's the case. Remember a plumber telling me that once. Up til that point I'd used it as a directory of recommendations (like the old Which Local review directory).

Website says 'have passed 12 checks' but also promotes it as a paid deal ... So maybe it's a mixture! - https://join.checkatrade.com/overview

Yes ALL landscape gardeners are like this.

I wrote to Alan Tichmarsh and Charlie Dimmock (and they aren't even on Checkatrade) with no response - well, a pre-printed 'signed' photo which was not what I asked for.

I'd already splashed out on the log rolls for edging the path, a trampoline, some windchimes and a Hibachi BBQ, so.they was not a lot left for them to do.

But that's landscape gardeners for you, I suppose...

My husband and I are gardeners and we don’t behave like that. Of course, emergencies do happen (in our 13 years of trading our van has broken down twice and we’ve had the odd family emergency - it happens to everyone). If we can’t do a job we say we can’t and if we can, we give a timescale. Last week, we quoted for a job and said we couldn’t do it until November for example. It sounds like the people you’ve dealt with aren’t very professional. It’s a shame, because it gives all of us a bad name.

DH, ages ago, was on Checkatrade. Pretty quickly, he realised how useless they were and left. They pestered and pestered afterwards. I wouldn’t choose them for anything. The trouble with the local Facebook is that you get loads of replies if you ask for recommendations, but I’m pretty sure they’re friends and relatives. You get to recognise the names.

If they don’t fancy the job, like all trades, they can’t be bothered. Something else will come their way that’s easier.

As others have opined, yes this is a thing and for any tradespeople - they ghost you. In fairness, you ask for a quote and it must be a lot of effort to rustle it up and it takes time, yet no obligation from prospective customer to agree...

People are encouraged to shop around for a quote and while that seems to be bad faith, it turns out it's obligatory because many tradespeople simply don't get back with a quote at all. This may be after a good 20 minute or more meeting and lengthy discussion, jokes about how we've been ghosted by others and so on - then they go and do the same! It can be a wasted two weeks or more waiting for a quote only for the penny to drop and you have to start again.

Re Checkatrade, there are two ways of looking at it - some say as it forces tradesmen to be of a certain standard, if they back out you may have had a lucky escape - they realised they couldn't actually do the job properly and didn't want the repercussions.

But Checkatrade have a dodgy rep on this board I think; and yes once you know tradesmen pay a hefty annual fee to belong, it takes the sheen off. You can see why they don't want to boot some of its members off - it's money to them, after all. Many years ago Checkatrade sent Mumsnet a legal letter about a thread moaning about them, insisting it be shut down and they disclose the contact details of those who posted on it and criticised them, Mumsnet did not disclose the names...

You could always try TrustaTrader, I don't think that's got a bad reputation. But I am with @cadburyegg on this - some are put off by the house looking bad, but being ghosted is the reason it's bad. It's like a pub refusing to serve you a pint if you look really really thirsty!

It’s exhausting isn’t it? And I don’t even mind if they’re upfront about not being able to fit you in. But when they waste your time and just ignore you, unacceptable.

I had the same experience twice trying to get my garden done. Both times was let down literally the day before it was due to start. This was a 4 week project, loads of communication in advance about what was needed, it was a £15k overhaul (🤦‍♀️😱🤯😳) as it was so big and I just couldn’t get anyone for love nor money. It took literally two years for it to finally happen.

I had 9 quotes in total - the first 8 all fucked me about something silly.

I wish bad things on anyone who claims the death of a family member or a family emergency

Weirdly this happened to us with a garden designer just last month.

It's happened to me so many times, I've lost count!

Like @LowDownBoyStandUpGuy my heart sinks when something needs to be done around the house because I know we'll be doing "the dance" all over again, and there's a high chance the job will never get done.

Latest was this month, something needs to be repaired - we actually tried to find someone 6 months ago and failed - and our temporary DIY fix is not going to last much longer, so I emailed several people with a clear explanation of the problem and even a photo. Miracle of miracles, one replied after several days, said "I can do your job, need to have a look so I can tell you a timescale for availability. Text me your address so I can come and see." I texted immediately in ecstatically grateful polite and cheery tones. Ghostly radio silence since then, it's been 3 weeks, I guess he's not that into me.

I actually wondered to DH whether every trade of every sort, in the entire city has my phone number on some kind of blacklist. I stick to original specs and never change my mind or add extra tasks, pay all invoices super promptly, happily let them use my loo and provide drinks on request, what have I done wrong? Perhaps my selection of biscuits is not up to standard and word has got round?

In addition to the above mentioned repair job, we also have finally saved up to replace our falling-apart kitchen this year and have a healthy budget, hallelujah! Instead of looking forward to it, I'm just filled with dread.

The bit about the blacklist - that went though my mind too. I needed quite a lot of different things doing (house move, rushed) and it was a really awful time, wondering why so many tradies were being so unhelpful, unreliable and shit! Very strange time.

And, like you, I dread needing to find one again in the future.

I'm pretty sure the guy we got to redo our (tiny) garden had at least 3 grandmothers die during the course of our interactions. He did at least do the work in the end though, in that blazing hot summer of 2022!

Was it one grandmother dying twice probably? 😀

I’ve contacted three companies about a job and only one has replied. Fine if they don’t want the business. But just say so.

Our builder was the most unfortunate man as he had a family emergency most weeks, mainly involving his toddler or his pregnant partner. None of it was true. He was sometimes telling me these elaborate stories in front of our nanny who was really good friends with his partner. It was really bizarre.

Our plasterer disappeared halfway through the job with no notice - despite knowing that we were waiting on him finishing to be able to move in - and when I rang him to see what on earth was going on he told me quite indignantly that it was his girlfriend's birthday week so he wouldn't be working. I almost felt that I would have preferred the courtesy of a lie about an emergency!

It must be happening everywhere!!! I've had three different tradesmen tell me they have family emergencies and then never get back in touch, and one breakdown on route who never got in contact again. Unbelievable how bad service/communications are

Agree with @TinyCarpetRake about the blacklist suspicions - esp as I was one of those who complained about Checkatrade quite noisily back in the day. So we began to suspect that any member who happened also to be on Checkatrade would be 'tipped off' about us so there'd be no repeat business. Another suspicion came via Surrey County Council because I've fallen out with them too after taking my mother's care homes to the press and they are bad people to cross, the local Mafia in effect.

That all said, it may just be the way tradesmen conduct themselves. I will out myself as a bloke now so I can say this - is this also a bloke thing? Would women tradespeople behave like this? I mean, I know they could, just saying, if the business generally was more balanced... Also, is this how foreign tradesmen get work, just by showing up on time etc?

To balance my 'sexism' I do also wonder if GP receptionists would have the reputation they do if any on the staff were men, ditto all the care home managers I knew in my time, or my mother's time, were women, too. The opposite sexes tend to have a civilising effect on one another.

So you had good reason to feel paranoid! Good on you for complaining.

Interesting regarding female tradies. It’s definitely something I’ll consider next time, see if it makes a difference.

edit; although I’m wondering how many I’ll manage to find. Bit of a backwater here,

OMG - we had this a couple of years ago with a guy laying a new patio. Took our deposit then didn't hear from him for months. When he did start, the excuses started:

• his wife had COVID
• he had COVID
• his trailer had a puncture
• he couldn't get any sand
• his MIL died
• his wife had COVID again...

There were more.

Funnily enough, he'd done work for a friend of a friend a couple of months earlier and discussing our progress with her she'd had ALL the same excuses. With hindsight I should never have taken her recommendation! I'm now struggling to find someone to relay the wobbly slabs.

I’d break the job down into smaller parcels and look for experts in that eg fencing maker/fitter.

I can't understand why they don't send a quote after spending up to an hour with you discussing the work of an evening.

Two garden firms from Checkatrade ghosted us. I put their leaflets in the bin now.

A female decorator who was local-ish ghosted is as did a trades who lived on my cul de sac!

I can't understand how people have immaculately maintained houses when it is

...so hard to get the work done.

I've never ever done the "3 quotes" thing because it'd be like finding 3 flying unicorns.

If any trade (a) replies to my inquiry (b) shows up to take a look (c) sends a quote for £randomnumber (d) schedules the work (e) actually turns up (f) actually finishes, I feel like buying a lottery ticket with the sheer luck it must all have taken!