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Awful partner postpartum

3 replies

lauren12986 · 28/05/2025 19:53

Hello just looking for support. I have a 5 month old baby
before pregnancy me and partner was looking for a house together as we both have our own houses but that changed due to me never being able to live with him
have a 7 year old from previous relationship who I share with his daddy

pregnancy was sad and lonely. He was selfish and neglected all my needs. When baby was born I think he was a novelty. Partner was good with him although didn’t do night feeds. Anyway. Didn’t last long. He started staying at his own house all the time. There was always a different excuse. It was either my beds not comfy. I snore. I get too warm in the night. My guttering is loud when it rains but now it’s because he doesn’t like me he says.

he goes hot and cold all the time. Baby is still up a few times a night. I’m absolutely exauhsted. And I get up early for school run on no sleep. I work from home with baby all day on my own. He’ll nip in after work sometimes and stay maybe once every two months!
I’m so lonely. If I voice my concerns he says I bark like a dog too much and all I do is nag. But really I just want him to be present. I want a cuddle. He tells me I’m ugly. When he’s on a rant he just doesn’t stop. He says awful things. Even about my intimate area. He’s made me hate myself. I’m just so tired. he tells me I’m the problem and I’ve destroyed our relationship cus I’m always in a bad mood? I’m just sad. He tells me I keep him away from his son. I don’t. I just tell him not to come when he’s being nasty.
I’ve been to the doctors and cried and told them how low I am. I’m now on tablets
I’ve rang my health visitor to visit. I need some support.
he told me his mums been crying because he told her I won’t let her see the baby? I contacted his mum and this wasn’t true. I’m sick to death of him. He’s just a nightmare. This is small parts of the story.
my house is council and I’ve gone through the process to get them to move me. My body is drained I’m tired. I’m lonely. He said give me set day I can see the baby. I told him Fridays whilst I take my other son to football and he refused and said he won’t make my life easy whilst I go to football with my other son. He’s awful. I’ll never win and I don’t want to. What do I do

OP posts:
Springadorable · 28/05/2025 21:29

You stop all contact and live your life. He's only making it much much harder.

Pollqueen · 28/05/2025 21:37

You will never make him happy. You will never please him and everything you do will be wrong

This is not on you though, this is who he is and if you carry on jumping through hoops you will destroy yourself. You have two children now and they deserve a safe, secure and loving environment. He cannot provide this. Do yourself and your children a big favour and block him and refuse to engage at all. If he is so keen to see the baby let him go to court to sort out regular, organised access. He won't do this. In the meantime apply for maintenance through the proper channels. Take back control

arabellacanella · 28/05/2025 21:44

Sorry to hear what you have been going through. I went through very similar experience with my ex partner. His behaviour and vileness almost broke me. You have to cut contact with him and get on with your life. You sound like a wonderful mum and I'm sure that without his negativity in your life you will flourish. You've already been doing it alone since day one, you don't need his added shit to make life worse.

I am away from my ex now. I had a child from a previous relationship too. We are now far away from him and really happy. It's hard being alone and being a single parent but honestly life is better than having a pig bring you down everyday and cause stress.

You will get through this and times will be better. Just get away from him.

Sending hugs and strength x

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