What’s your “alpha male” like?

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Come across the alpha male concept from time to time as something aspirational ( often associated with winning female approval

I see people thinking they are alpha males -

womanising , arrogant , flashy rich, gym muscles

ans can’t help thinking that’s a mile away from what most women would want in a man

i like - rather than arrogant - self confident enough that their masculinity isn’t challenged by a nappy or the need to scrub a loo seat

rather than flashy rich - puts their back into work to help keep the family afloat

rathwr than gym strength - strong enough to take a back seat, to walk with granny at the back of the group not lead the charge to show how fit they are

Alpha male to me means a man who is not self conscious, confident but not cocky, who can hold a conversation with anyone and can make others feel at ease. A man who makes others feel safe and who you know could take control of a situation competently.

The truth is that these men who think they are 'alpha' for the reasons you describe (often Andrew Tate supporters), do not really know or care what women actually like.

They care about power, control and self-image. They couldn't give a toss what you want.

My definition is similar to yours. They make my vagina slam shut.

Very self confident with a long history of various successes from sport to fitness to work and social positions.

I think that typical online alpha is for the benefit of other insecure men. My alpha would be wise, kind, considered speech not just running his mouth, doesnt need to disparage others to inflate himself. Willing to take on responsibility - does it well!

Alpha male to me is affluent, tall, sporty, well educated, often asked to consult, well spoken, a great host, confident, puts everyone at ease, brings everyone up so everyone is their best self around him.

I'd say this is borderline psychopath

What you describe is a beta, to me. An alpha male is a leader, sure of himself and able to command respect.

Could you explain? I don’t understand why you think that.

Sean Bean in Sharpe, so, fictional

A real alpha male is vanishingly rare. To me it is a man who is male without being misogynistic and self confident but also secure. They tend to be high achievers because they want to be financially secure and self sufficient.

A man who is feminist, a vocal advocate for women's rights, who calls out shit behaviour and attitudes from members of his sex, who strives to be better than bog standard knuckle dragging males in every possible way.

It's sad that this is not a basic standard for men.

I’d describe my (late) DH as an alpha male. Eldest of six brothers, he was top of his profession, high earning, super bright. Self confident, big personality. Self made in that first in his family to go to uni and self supporting - never had money from his parents, though they did give him a good education. He was also generous to a fault, a great motivator, kind, interested in women and women’s chat (loved listening to Woman’s Hour). Very much involved in charity work - and he walked the walk, not just with his chequebook. Very keen on social mobility.
He was the head of his family, even though his father was still alive, it was he his family turned to. When he died at 51 it was a huge upset to their dynamic.
He managed to be top dog without belittling those around him - in fact he was keen to bring everyone up with him. He did not suffer fools though - he was tough on people, but never rude or unfair. 350 people came to his memorial service.

In animal world isn't alpha male usually ensuring others safety, defers to the female, understands the wisdom in elders? The Andrew Tate's of this world are who the pack doesn't want around, pack is only successful if everyone pulls together