If you pursued an adhd diagnosis as an adult

[An0n123]

Can I ask why you decided to do it, and what difference (if any) did it make for you?

It's something I've been half considering for a few years now but for the most part I've always found ways to cope with the things I'm not great at for example I'm in a career that's extremely flexible and I can chop and change my working hours on the day as I want to and it involves lots of creative planning for short term projects etc. I really would like to progress to a more senior level, but when I think about managing people more closely I feel like a fraud because I know there are certain things I struggle with more like attention to detail/timekeeping/ eye contact when I feel nervous/ self motivation for tedious tasks/ maintaining routines even though I know logically they're better for me etc. On the whole I'm good at my job and I know a lot and have loads of experience but part of me sees how other people just do things seemingly really easily that for me just aren't as easy and I have never really understood why. I was assessed as a child over 30years ago but I was in a high stress household with a lot of pressure to be perfect on me so looking back I think I'd have been quite difficult to diagnose then and I was well trained in what to say/ not say. I've been in counselling for a while both couples and individual and it's been suggested by both counsellors that I may have adhd and it could explain some of my ways of approaching things.

But then part of me thinks what is the point of looking into it and if I did would that help me career wise if I understood myself better, or would it be used against me. The idea of telling a manager is also really daunting. Similarly I'm now going through a bit of a rough divorce and don't want to give my ex anything he could use against me in terms of our son. Hoping others experiences may help me tease it out.

For me, it was liberating. I'd always felt 'wrong' or that i was stupid because i couldn't do things the same way as others. And i was always made to feel less than others due to this. I spent almost 30 years 'masking' and my stress levels were at catastrophic levels due to this.

And without diagnosis, you don't have access to any treatment like ADHD counselling or medication.

I'd recommend looking at the lists of symptoms for both Inattentive and Hyperactivity ADHD as there are still many who when they think ADHD only think of the stereotypical way young boys present with ADHD when we know that young girls don't present in the same way. And many women are being diagnosed as an adult due to being dismissed.

On your question of would it be used against me - who knows? Obviously it shouldn't be - considering it is a neurodivergent condition but we all know there are horrible people around willing to use anything against someone.

Good luck <3

Thank you for your response! Can I ask did you decide to disclose it to your work if you work and did it help/ was it well received?

I received a diagnosis of ADHD a year ago (mid 50’s) and, started meds this year. I also think it’s been somewhat liberating.

I’ve suffered from poor mental health for decades, with highs and lows. I wondered if I had/was developing bipolar but, no, I just feel things very strongly because I’ve got adhd! The adhd medication calms me down, particularly when I’m anxious. Currently going through a tricky time in my marriage and being forced out of my job. But I can deal with it! I don’t spiral into a pit of anxiety and despair. I’m still anxious but not fixed or hyper focused on it

i can read complex papers at work now and not fail to reach the level of focus needed but mostly I’ve developed a level of confidence I didn’t have. I’m not stupid, I’m not ditsy and disorganised, I have adhd, I need time to process information and I needed it presented to me in a way that I understand it. If I’m not thriving under your leadership that might actually be a you problem.

On the flip side I’m very collaborative and I’m able to get other members of staff to do things because they want to and because they understand the why, rather than just because I’ve told them to.

I know this doesn't exactly answer your question. But I know i have ADHD. I tick every box and explains the difficulties I have to a tee.

I'm very wary of pursuing a diagnosis and ultimately I won't, as I think we've "peaked" In society with these diagnoses and the tables are turning. I believe the diagnosis will be met with a 🙄. And I care too much what people think, so I'll just self manage.

Also, it means declaring it on job interview forms and medical records etc, and we can all pretend people won't judge or 🙄, but they will. Especially in women , where you seem "normal" and you're not bouncing about from ceiling to ceiling like people expect , you'll get the "attention seeker" label. So all in all, not worth it for me.

I'm pursuing a diagnosis at the moment for autism and ADHD. I thought long and hard about it, and read a lot of other women's experiences. I manage life really, really well now. But I've realised that I think I'll feel a lot of peace knowing for certain. Probably the Autism - I can't say I'm autistic even to myself unless it's formal! 😂

But, also, I am aware I'm going to be heading into perimenopause soon and that may well bring up a lot of things for me and make life harder again.

I'm finding that I'm finding my tribe, through this process, having never felt that I fit in anywhere. I have reasons why I'm amazingly productive in some things and struggle with others and they're reasons I don't need to beat myself up about. And I am loving the sometimes uncomfortable experience of unmasking and learning who I truly am, not the 40+ years of studying and learning how to act as a 'normal' person version of me. It's liberating.

My screening call is this Sunday evening and I'm looking forward to feeling heard and understood and not like I'm wrong.

I disclosed to my work - personally my work are great about my health and so on. My big boss' reaction was "i'm not surprised" so 😅

Really appreciating everyone's experiences.

"But, also, I am aware I'm going to be heading into perimenopause soon and that may well bring up a lot of things for me and make life harder again."

This is something I'm also conscious of and as I've been through a lot of change recently with a house/job move and divorce I've really noticed that my capacity for stress is just so much lower than it would have been previously and I've noticed that I'm finding it harder to control certain things I do that before I would have put a lot of energy into controlling and then come home from work probably actually quite emotionally depleted even though on the surface I was doing a good job. I'm lone parenting now and while on one hand I'm very wary of my ex trying to manipulate a diagnosis, I also want to make sure I'm the type of mummy that my son can feel proud of and who is reliable and dependable, especially when he gets bigger and is at school and there's more to juggle on my own.