I know it’s not about balloons

[DaveUsername]

So whenever close family and friends get married or have a baby, I have decorated their houses/filled their fridges or given meal vouchers or sent helium balloons etc. It’s something I enjoy. But when we came home with our baby, I didn’t expect anything but I was sad that we didn’t even get a visitor with a balloon. I ended up buying our baby some helium balloons as I was sad they didn’t have any. Friends/family said they would help, a few visited but expected drinks etc. I just wanted one person to make us food/bring us food or make us a drink. I feel we are totally on our own despite being surrounded by people.

The birth was difficult and we were in hospital with a sick baby for a week then couldn’t have visitors with children/allow people to hold him on medical advice, so no one came to see us. We had some lovely cards and gifts sent by older relatives. I just wanted friends to come buy.

I know it’s just me that likes doing things and I won’t going forward be putting the effort in, and I know I shouldn’t be sad about balloon,s I think it’s just feeling alone and unloved and it’s just us now. Baby is just beautiful though and asleep on my lap.

That sounds crap, and you sound lovely. Im sorry you and baby have had a rough start, it sounds like you would really have found a few meals cooked by a friend useful and a bunch of flowers a nice pick me up after a worrying week. Sometimes people can be thoughtless and sometimes people can be paralysed over what to do for a friend that is struggling. Only you can decide which category you freinds fall into.

just give yourself some time to recover emotionally, both from the birth and then the double whammy of not being able to bring you baby home from hospital in the normal way. It will take its toll on your emotions over the next few weeks. If you can, take half an hour and just really let yourself have a good cry and try and release the emotions. The shower is a good place for this as it washes away the snot (speaking from experience!). You might need to repeat this a couple of times, but it will help in the long run. Bottling things up is not good for anyone

and here are lots of 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 and if I lived anywhere near you, I would bring round a batch of my specialty dinner for new mums which is macaroni and cheese with bacon (easy to freeze, heat in the microwave and eat 1 handed)

You sound lovely! I hope that you and baby are well.
I always do things for other people and never get anything back, so I have reduced what I do. I know my true friends and would go out of my way to help /support them, but anyone else - nah!

You sound very kind, and congratulations on the new little baby.
I would have loved a sample your home cooking, or a card or something, but flowers at times of stress do my head in. We had them last year for a death, and later for illness and although it was kind, the overpackaged, plastic wrapped bunches were just not a joy. They were another job.
I do like a happy bunch from the market now and then, but not for occasions, and I don't send them for that reason.
(I think you have probably changed your mind about flipping helium balloons!)

This is a lovely response. 😊