Not seeing friend without children

[Kettings]

Had a baby, and had some complications meaning struggling to care on my own for the baby so partner has taken a sabbatical from work. Prior to this we had a 10year infertility journey, so I was always the fun friend who would entertain friends kids when they visited.
I couldn’t continue this with baby and couldn’t have friends round as I knew the dynamic would likely be the same if having to run round after kids/I didn’t have the energy or physical capacity to stop them playing with the babies things as house used to be kid friendly but now isn’t until baby is walking. I could only manage adult visitors or children old enough to just sit and talk.
I just wanted friends to come and visit me without their children, childcare isn’t an issue. But it was if you don’t want to see the children I won’t come on my own. I feel all the effort I put in wasn’t reciprocated. No one came and made me a drink or just said hi and checked how I was. I have no village. We can go and visit them with the baby as their house is set up for kids and we can leave.

Don’t know what I’m putting out there to the internet ether. Just feeling sorry for myself.

How old is your baby?

Have you said "you're welcome to come with kids, but I won't be running around after them"?

Aww! OP you have been putting the effort in for everyone else and now you are getting nothing back. Maybe people don't want to put you out with your new baby. Tell your friends you would love to see them and could do with the support. Hopefully they will rally round. Xxx

I do think it will come across very weirdly if you've always been keen to see their kids and have them visit and now suddenly they aren't welcome. Also not sure why your house is any less kid friendly now you've got a baby? Just say they can come but bring a toy so they aren't bored as you only have baby baby toys right now.

I don’t really understand where you’re coming from. You visit them with your baby, they have always visited you with their children and now all of a sudden your house isn’t child friendly until your baby is walking?

How did your house go from being kid friendly... which usually means safe dor kids, to not being kid friendly by having a baby... you usually baby proof when you have your own not lay down landmines.

I think your expectations of both yourself and others might be a bit off here. I doubt your friends expect/need you to be the fun aunt anymore - I'm sure they are just happy to see you and will keep their DC occupied whilst your primary attention will understandably be on your baby. Similarly I don't think it's reasonable to expect friends to be able to leave their DC with someone else or take offence if that options not available. For a lot of people childcare is hard to come by.

Be easy on yourself, OP, and try not to shut people out unnecessarily. It sounds like the birth was very tough - I hope you're starting to recover now.