Worried about DN’s social media activity and eating habits (tw - ED)

[Newusername199098]

Posting under new user as it’s a bit outing. So I have instagram and use the reels feed a lot, mostly for hair advice and beauty advice, but my brother also asked me to keep an eye on his kids who have it. Only his older two have it, nephew just likes car videos and stuff about trains, niece generally has liked and shared hair and beauty stuff, fashion, nothing crazy.

Recently I have noticed she’s been liking a lot of these videos that are like “living slim in the city” ect by this girl Liv Schmitt. This woman is very thin, and some of the advice she gives is definitely disordered. DN has also got a bit thinner, not crazy skinny, but she’s lost weight. She has also made comments to me like “I wish I could eat whatever I wanted like you” ect. She is definitely much thinner than me, I am literally pregnant right now, so to me that seems dysmorphic.

My SIL has an ED. It is unfortunately at the point where I no longer allow her to eat around my children as I don’t want her comments or eating habits to rub off on them. I still invite her to eat at our house with me and DP, I let her bring her own food and ignore her comments, but I draw the line at that being around my children. I have known SIL since I was 3 years old so I really love her, but she has always been weird around food. After her last child, this really took off though and became very disordered, this is when I stopped her from eating with my children.

I am really not sure how to approach this with her parents given SILs ED. I know I need to tell my brother, but he can be a bit ham fisted with things like this, he doesn’t really understand body image stuff (unironically thinks he’s a 10/10). I’m not sure if I should just talk to her about it, or what?

I have no experience with eating disorders myself, I have always been lucky and had a good relationship with food and exercise. I feel like I’m not qualified to deal with this at all, but I don’t want to make it worse. Any advice at all would be really helpful because I’ve got no idea how to broach this with her dad or her.

There are so many things I could say here, and I've been around it a bit myself. I'm so sorry, EDs are brutal for everyone involved.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is raise your concerns with her dad, write them down on paper, and your ask of him is to take her to the GP with your list of concerns. The sooner she can get professional help, the better.

As for Liv Schmitt... that woman is trying to ruin and generation of young girls. If possible to have your niece get off of Instagram, do that - but much easier said than done.

Social media is horrible when it affects them in this way.

I don't personally have experience with this but I have known other parents struggle with the same thing.

I gave my daughter The Dark Side of Food graphic novel to read and she loves that kind of thing but she didn't have any contact with any so called 'role models' on social media.

Might be worth having a look? I can send the link if you are interested.

Since I’ve posted this I have asked her “do you think this girl is giving really good advice?” There was also a YouTube expose on her “skinny society” paid membership, so I showed her that and asked if she thinks that’s healthy. She said no and she has been interacting with it less. I have also talked to my brother and showed him the stuff as well. He has also noticed she has been eating less, and has been getting her to cook with him.

He has said it can be hard with her mum around, because SIL eats separately normally and won’t eat oil/butter/fried food ect. But apparently she is enjoying cooking! I don’t think I gave my brother enough credit really, he handled it well and level headed I was just worried because he sometimes really puts his foot in it.

The link would be good please I’ll have a look!