Struggling with 'me'

[Elsssssa1]

And being me and who I am etc. Im a mum of 2 young kids (3 and under) and feel like im going through that normal do I know me crisis

Im part time work 3 days so I get 2 days to myself with them then the weekend im so lucky to do this and want to do this but on the flip side miss adult contact a bit? But again I want to be part time and spend that time with them before school

I don't know my style I just tend to mimic others but unsure if I pull it off right

Mine and DH's relationship took a setback and is stuck really. Feel like we need therapy or counselling as were very stuck in a me vs you situation and not a team situation. We havent had sex since youngest born (just under 1) so this eont help and doesn't help my confidence
Hes not cheating BTW I could give a whole list of why im 100% sure hes not

Im very lonely i don't get any adult socialisation. I work remotely and my team is spread accross the country. DH is not great company atm he just seems annoyed at the fact I only care about the kids and being a mum (his words), I donr have any friends

So I don't know where I'll get or find 'me'

I'm sorry you feel this way. It's pretty common when Dc are small to totally lose yourself in them. But good that you have realised and want to find yourself again. Both parents need to work on marriage when DC are very young as the demands of young children mean the relationship can disintegrate. Maybe part of rediscovering who you are could be done through rekindling your marriage.

DH and I went on date nights once a week. After a few miserable dinners and drinks where we had nothing to talk about except DC and competitive comments on how tired we were, we realised we needed to do things together - new shared memories – and we started going to comedy improv nights and music gigs at local pubs and occasionally to see more famous bands and stand ups we both liked. We also went to films and got cheap tickets to plays and shows, then chatted about them afterwards. And invited other people over for lunch or dinner occasionally.

We also made an effort to chat about stuff other than DC - listening to music we both liked or a radio show or podcast we could chat about, or watching a TV series that leads to some thought provoking discussions.

Also, try and see friends or do something for yourself once or twice a week and encourage DH to do the same - meet up with local mum friends or go to an evening class or fitness group, arrange to get coffee with a friend or go for a dog walk and catch up chat during your lunch break. This is especially important if you WFH. It gets so isolating. I almost forgot how to interact with other people at one point - it felt weird having coffee and catching up, I was so used to being alone or with children. But this time passes.