I’m really struggling with my family dynamic. Background is, my parents divorced when I was a baby. Both remarried. And had another family/kids. The divorce was not happy and they Only spoke via solicitors. Dad moved to other end of country. We meet every few years or so. Very limited contact.
growing up my stepdad clearly saw me as an annoying inconvenience. He used to pick on me which my mum does admit. Just silly things but he clearly didn’t like me.
Overall we have an ok relationship. We’ve had a few huge bust ups over the years. Stepdad always stays in car if mum popping in for example. Won’t come in. She never stays long. We are polite enough to each other.
now I’m in my 40s I’m struggling more than ever. They help my sibling (their child) out loads and loads. The golden child. They literally think their child as perfect! Me on the other hand, am a disappointment to them. They view me as a chore. We don’t hang out socially, more of a transaction of childcare or meeting up on family occasions. They treat the grandchildren vastly different too. They help my sibling out so so much. I probably take up about 1% of the time they do. And if I try to see them alone, they always say “let’s invite your sibling”
I’ve been to lots of therapy over the years but I think about this daily. Like I don’t belong. And I guess ultimately I’m jealous although I realise it’s not my siblings fault. We have a good relationship.
by the way I’m married with kids, great job etc… no issues with me.
the way they treat me is just so unequal. We could literally do the exact same thing and I would get a moaning at and sibling will get praise.
how can I ever get over this? I can’t stop thinking about it. If anything the unequal treatment is getting worse with age.