Child with anxiety struggling at school

[sam134y]

Since January this year my 12 year old son has not completed a whole week at school. I have battled and struggled to get him in and it is still a daily battle due to his anxiety which then manifests into external health issues including constipation and bad eczema skin flare ups.
I sometimes feel isolated that I am the only one going through this and i'd love to hear from other parents who maybe going through a similar issue so we can share ideas and experiences to support each other. I've set up a FB group called SEN-Betweeners for children who struggle to thrive in mainstream school with mild special education needs and i'd love to connect on there with anyone who is going through similar issues themselves. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1771106710198916/

Have you been following dr Naomi Fischer? X

I have a daughter with EBSA, and I think the most important thing I have learned is that you cannot keep forcing them into an environment that makes them anxious. You can teach them all the strategies you want to ‘manage’ their anxiety, but what needs to change is the environment, not them.

No I haven't heard of dr Naomi Fischer? i'll do some research on her. Thanks x

Yes I completely agree, I wish I could find a better alternative, unless I home school,our school curriculum and system is the same everywhere. x

Perhaps. What do the school say about it?

school anxiety and parent burnout (esp parents of kids with additional needs) are her speciality x

We went through this as my daughter developed panic disorder. She ended up sitting her GCSE’s at home. She’s 19 now and travelling round the world. Schools are causing a mental health crisis in young people. I no longer think they are fit for purpose.

My dd will be starting secondary school in September and they have a provision for EBSA children. It works by giving the children some control over their day.
The children are asked to rate all lessons red, amber or green. The green lessons are ones that they normally go to happily, red are the ones they can’t manage and amber are in between.
For red lessons they go to the wellbeing unit and work there instead, for amber they work on being able to go to the lesson for short periods of time, accompanied by a member of staff. Usually they go in for the input and then take the work back to the unit to complete.
The wellbeing unit is always staffed and the students have a pass to be able to leave lessons and go there if they are anxious.
I know it won’t be perfect, but I’m happy that the school seem to have some understanding of EBSA and how to respond to it.

If DS is unable to attend school, is alternative provision in place?

Have you requested an EHCNA?

What support is the school providing?

Personally, I wouldn’t deregister and EHE. At the moment, if DS can’t attend school, the LA remains responsible for ensuring he still receives a suitable full-time education. Whereas, if you deregister and EHE, the LA will say you are making suitable alternative arrangements, thereby relieving them of this duty. When you EHE, it is easier for professionals to sweep DC’s needs under the carpet. Crudely, staying in the system even if DC can't attend means you are someone's 'problem'.

First post have you just come on here to advertise your Facebook group?

Thank you x

This.
Can you home educate your son?

I’m glad your daughter managed to get through it and do her GCSE’s great she is now travelling the world!

The school are being ok but very slow to put things in place, I’m having to keep on requesting updates to receive some counselling with the well being manager.
Thanks for the advice, I wasn’t aware of that.

Unfortunately not I’m single working mum

This sounds amazing, the wellbeing unit at our school doesn’t seem to be staffed the whole time, just at break times.
Some schools really seem to do so well with their wellbeing programs it’s a shame it’s not the same across the board.

The LA is the one responsible for providing alternative provision. Have you requested this? If you haven’t, IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

Similarly, if you haven’t already requested an EHCNA, you should do that and IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

It is worth reading IPSEA and SOSSEN’s websites to start to learn about the SEN system.