Stuck in my part time job?

[SlapTheButcher]

I've been in my job role for several years and negotiated 3 days a week after coming back from maternity leave. DS is 18 months old. I feel very lucky to have 4 days a week away from work to spend with DS and it's very important to me to maximise my time with him whilst he is little.

However, I am so bored, unhappy and stagnant in my current job and it's making me demoralised and fed up every single day. I've felt like this for years, even when TTC.

As decent part time professional roles of 3 days a week are rare, I do feel very stuck. I know I can apply for more interesting full time roles with the intention to request part time if offered, but know that realistically most employers for full time advertised roles would say no to 3 days, but may consider 4 days.

I don't ever want to put career progression above my child and I want to spend as much time with him as possible, but I also hate being so miserable in my current job. I'm worried I will bitterly regret not spending that extra day with him if I go up to 4 days in a new job.

These are my options:

A) Stick out my crap job until DS goes to school (in 3 years time) and just suck it up? It's time with him I'll never get back. I can take the hit now and progress my career in a new role once he's at school. Three years seems a long time to be unhappy at work though.

B) Do I apply for new jobs now which will make me more happy professionally and consider working 4 days a week? But then mourn the loss of the extra day off with DS.

Has anybody been in this dilemma before, stuck in a job with good part time hours? Has anybody successfully negotiated 3 days in a new job (advertised as full time)?

Please share your experience or help me decide.

I do 3 days. My current role was advertised as full time but I knew someone there so dropped them a text saying would they consider 3 days. They met with me and offered me the job. So I’d say you may as well apply and just drop it in the cover letter/mention it before you get too far down the line.

Are you planning on having any more kids OP? Could you stay in your current role whilst looking for a new part time (3 days per week) role? Even if you get to interview/offer stage with a new firm and ask then? Nothing to lose as you’ll still have your current role.
I don’t have any experience with negotiating part time during an interview but I considered applying for a full time role before and called them to ask if they’d consider hiring 2 people for the role to job share and they said they hadn’t considered that but would for the right candidate(s). So could be worth an ask

Thank you for your replies.

@MBM18 Yes, I am hoping to have another child, although previous fertility isssues so no guarantee.

If I did have another baby, it could mean staying part time for a while longer. The thought of staying in my current role that long fills me with utter dread.

Good three days a week roles are so rarely advertised and I'm worried most full time advertised roles would say no to 3 days.

My kids are 12 and 8 now. Ever since returning from first maternity I’ve done various part time jobs for not brilliant pay because having the hours I want to be able to spend time with them is the most important thing to me. I now do school hours term time only. Some days I’m miserable at work and bitter that well paid/interest roles just aren’t there for part timers. Most days I’m really happy I made this choice.

A lot of other Mums I know with better paid/more challenging part time positions took them on as full time roles originally and then negotiated to part time once they’d proved themselves. Sometimes I wish I’d been ballsy enough to give that a go.

I would go back up to the 4 days, if your not happy at home and that would also mean better maternity pay for the next baby.

I am in a similar situation. I knew from 6 months in toy role that it was a dead end job that would not be the challenge I need to mentally stimulate me. But I saw how well they treat working mothers and knowing that I wanted to have kids soon I decided to stay as I didn't fancy my chances finding a more flexible employer.

That was 8 years ago, my son is now 6 and I am still here. I have had interviews and even some offers in that time but nothing that can match the work life balance I have here so I stay where I am. By having interviews I have been able to get an insight in to other companies and it has actually me feel better about my current job by putting things in to perspective and .making me see that working somewhere else probably wouldn't be any better. I would probably only be swapping one problem for another.

I have chosen option A.

I value time with my children.

I don't hate my job but often don't like it very much but I can tolerate it for part time hours. I also know if the kids are ill or I need half a day for sports day, for example, they are understanding and flexible whereas I could go to another job and the culture could be completely different.

I am adverse to change generally though!

I guess it depends on whether you hate you're job or just bored. If bored then there are worse things and I would suck it up.

Also to add....

I once moaned to a mum's friend about my job. She said to me "but do they pay you?". I said yes, of course. She said "well that's why you do the job then!".

This may not make the most sense but it means you don't have to do a job cos you love it. You do it cos it you get paid to do it. It means you can do other things you do like. I guess it's very modern to think you have to be "fulfilled" by a job. Back in the day a job was a job you stayed in for life and that was it.

If the job suits your lifestyle and pays then it's a good job.

Thank you so much everyone. It's great to hear your different experiences and perspectives.😊

You can always ask during recruitment if they would consider 3 days. It's rare but worth looking. 3 days is worth its weight in gold when you have little kids.

Hey op it sounds awful but I would choose free time with my dc but I would also apply for jobs in case something comes up. It’s hard because 4 free days is a real luxury but your mental health is really important too. Some employers are flexible for the right person. Don’t just assume it’s a no go without looking and applying.