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Really upset by this closure.

17 replies

Figleavesdown · 19/05/2025 18:02

I feel this is going to sound extremely weird/ridiculous/bizarre but I’m feeling so depressed and upset.

there’s a lovely local cafe i go to. The owner runs it himself and works very very hard. I used to go in all the time, he let me work there, and I would be in pretty much every day, sometimes going in a couple times as it’s right around the corner from where I live. He’s a really kind, generous man, let’s you use the WiFi, let’s people sit for hours. It’s small but he does struggle with footfall and he used to be pleased i would sit there as it gave him company and was also more likely others would come in.

he has stiff competition from three other coffee shops on the road, including one chain. I’ve been going there for three years. But in the last 6 months, I’ve probably been about 12 times I would say. And that’s because I used to find that two separate women I didn’t like would deliberately walk past every day and then come in to chat to me and I just really disliked them, they would never get the hint that I wanted to be left alone.

my partner did say he was probably struggling for business but I didn’t think too much of it as he’s been there a few years.

I just found out that he shut for good yesterday and I feel devastated. I know that sounds extreme but I just spent most of the morning crying. I feel so sad that I barely went in and instead spent money at other places. He was local, much cheaper and such a decent person. I also feel really sad as he is leaving in two days to go back to his home country.

I will really miss him, that shop gave me such a reassuring comforting presence. I used to wave to him every day when I was going or leaving home and now I just feel so upset.

I know it sounds extreme but I actually felt really shaken and upset and haven’t been able to do any work today.

OP posts:
SmugglersHaunt · 19/05/2025 18:11

That’s not weird at all - I’ve felt the same about other businesses shutting in the past. It’s horrible - and a combination of all sorts of pressures on small businesses. The fact that you’re upset just shows you’re caring and empathetic

Christ0nABike · 19/05/2025 18:16

Was it you that screamed at the Michelangelo?

It is sad when local businesses close, I always feel bad for the owners who’ve put their whole life and soul into it, but cafes in particular are failing left right and centre. There’s only so much you can charge for a coffee and a sandwich, I suppose.

SwanOfThoseThings · 19/05/2025 18:19

Would it comfort you to give him a 'goodbye' card, telling him how much you will miss his cafe and wishing him luck for the future?

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IPM · 19/05/2025 18:25

He's going back to his home country.

You should try to put your feelings aside and be happy for him.

I expect he can't wait.

MintChocCat · 19/05/2025 18:28

This is really sad. The cafe and the owner were clearly a very big part of your life for some time. I am really sorry. I feel for you. It’s an adjustment I guess. It’s sad when independent businesses close ❤️

Shuttered · 19/05/2025 18:31

Your reaction is quite extreme, but so is you avoiding a cafe you went to a lot and liked because two women you dislike ‘deliberately’ walked past and chatted to you. What’s wrong with saying ‘Sorry, Angela, I’m not on a tea break, I’m working. Can’t chat now.’?

Figleavesdown · 19/05/2025 18:41

I know it seems ridiculous and over the top. I just feel so down and that I also let him down.

im not sure that I knew I would feel this bad. I think it’s because I should’ve realised he was struggling and he was just always so friendly and generous and I used to love sitting there. It was quite a safe comforting space for me.

he’s very hard to read. He was always in a good mood and I hope he is happy to returning to his home country. I will really miss him and the shop.

OP posts:
IPM · 19/05/2025 18:46

Why are you putting his failing business down to you 'letting him down'?

Your reaction is still extreme even now.

He's a grown man - a business owner who knows the risks of running his own business.

KnickerlessParsons · 19/05/2025 18:49

He might not have closed the cafe due to lack of business. It could be that he just wanted to go home.

Figleavesdown · 19/05/2025 18:51

He said it was the lack of business.

OP posts:
Shuttered · 19/05/2025 18:53

Figleavesdown · 19/05/2025 18:51

He said it was the lack of business.

Well, realistically, even you buying two cups of tea or coffee every day wasn’t going to make the difference between a business being viable and not viable.

BobbyBiscuits · 19/05/2025 19:02

I always just think I should've gone in more often or spent more money. And thinks about the reasons why they might have closed. The local competition, staff turnover etc.
It's a real shame isn't it when you loved somewhere. It happens a lot.

PrettyPuss · 19/05/2025 19:03

Oh, bless you OP.

I think the way you feel is understandable, you're clearly an empath. But it’s not your fault.

I really do suspect that the reason for his drop in business is more related to the new competition that opened, including the chain.

Could you contact him to tell him how sad you feel and that you wish him all the best? Could you ask him about his family at home?

If you knew that he felt happy to be going home and if you knew how excited he may be (and how happy his family must be), it might help you feel better about this?

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 19/05/2025 19:03

I've felt the same way about businesses closing op

Very 'there goes the neighbourhood' 🥺 (paraphrasing the actual meaning)

BoredZelda · 19/05/2025 19:09

He was cheap and let his “customers” sit for hours using his WiFi. That business was always going to fail.

user368 · 19/05/2025 19:17

As a business owner myself, there's not much that you could have done, even if you went in every day. There's rent, utilities, business rates, etc.

I agree with others that you are overreacting and while your feelings are valid, they are not standard/healthy. It's not your fault.

I have lots of enquiries about my business and product from well-meaning people who say they love my product and brand but are not ready to buy, yet (I'm the only person making this product). It's been a tough time, especially since Trump's tariff announcement (most of my customers are from the USA). I occasionally wonder if these people will be upset if my business suddenly closed. I suppose not because if they liked my product enough they would have bought one already!

Don't beat yourself up. It's life.

Figleavesdown · 19/05/2025 19:23

PrettyPuss · 19/05/2025 19:03

Oh, bless you OP.

I think the way you feel is understandable, you're clearly an empath. But it’s not your fault.

I really do suspect that the reason for his drop in business is more related to the new competition that opened, including the chain.

Could you contact him to tell him how sad you feel and that you wish him all the best? Could you ask him about his family at home?

If you knew that he felt happy to be going home and if you knew how excited he may be (and how happy his family must be), it might help you feel better about this?

Yes, I really hope he is happy to be going home.

it’s very selfish I know, as a lot of my sadness comes from what I’ve lost really. It’s hard to explain, I used to be in there all the time and everyone joked it was my second home.

i guess I am very lonely and with not much family and he was one of the nicest people I’ve met, never asked for anything, and I just used to feel so happy sitting there chatting to him or reading my book.

i know it is business and they fail and it’s tough. I just feel guilty because he tried to make it work for so long. He did the hours all himself. He probably is glad to be done with it.

It was just a big constant for me there and a. Very reassuring lovely presence and I’ve been feeling so anxious since I found out this morning. I walked past earlier and the new owners are ripping everything out.

I guess the one constant is everything changes.

OP posts:
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