Diary planning with DH - any tips?

[culturevulture1984]

He's spontaneous ( grrr) and disorganised.

I'm the opposite.

He's impossible to pin down. Should I give up trying?

What do other people do?

We have a shared Google calendar. If it's in the calendar it happens, if it is not then it doesn't.

However, if one party is really into going out and the other is a homebird then maybe decide what you do on a Saturday night on an alternating basis. We used to alternate and one week would be 'Saturday night, Alan's choice' and the next would be 'Saturday night, Sarah's choice'. There was a bit of flexibility/swapping but it made the basics equity clearer.

Google shared calendar is a great idea thank you.

( Goes away to Google how to ) 😊

How does he usually set up reminders?
I do on the phone, DH does Google calendar. He is not spontaneous but tends to be forgetful and over-plan so we will do regular “checks” when we sit together me with my phone and he is with his laptop - one for far ahead and then once a month update and every Sunday update for the next week.
I also gave up mentioning him things in passing, I need to do a list, sit him and discuss one by one events when he is focused just on it, otherwise he’ll forget.

Google shared calendar here too, also a big wall calendar for everyone to check.

Shared calendar (apple) here too for the main things. Just have to get him to put his wfh days in, drives me crazy when he suddenly announces he's wfh on my day off!

When our dc were little, we used to have a paper calendar in the kitchen, and would make a point of sitting down and updating it and going through the practicalities (who was picking up which child from where, etc) on a Sunday evening.
The rule generally being that first thing in the calendar took priority when there was a clash.
More recently, we have everything on a shared Google calendar. SO much quicker and easier when you are out without your other half and someone or a group are wanting to arrange a day to do something. Also in terms of if it matters if you stay a bit late at work / sorting what everyone is eating and when, and so forth, as both of you effectively have the other one's diary with you at all times.

We have a shared Google calendar which works well and I have a whiteboard in the kitchen which I update every weekend for the week ahead.