Unsure whst do do about get-together with friends now! 🤷‍♀️

[Sunshadows]

Myself and 2 other friends have been invited to our neighbour's to watch Eurovision tonight. Obviously she's preparing to host, and probably bought food & drink by now.

One of our group cancelled yesterday, saying she's not well. The friend who's hosting, messaged on our group last night to ask if we (remaining 2) were still coming. We both said Yes. I've now seen the other one has cancelled (due to being 'too busy'🤔), leaving only me!

This affects the whole feel of the evening. A few drinks, catching up watching Eurovision with a group sounds ideal, but now there's only two of us I'm not so sure. She's lovely, the one who's hosting, but definitely the quieter of the group and I feel the onus will be on me to keep the chat going. Much easier if we're all chipping in!

I'm not sure whether to message the host to suggest re-arranging, or just go along. Knowing her as I do, I feel she'll have been getting ready for us all day, and spent money on food & drink. I'd feel very bad, her having gone to a lot of effort for nothing, and am a bit annoyed with the 2nd person for cancelling last minute.

Would you all just go along, even though you'd now be the only one?

The problem with rescheduling is that as the OP said, the friend will have prepared stuff. And she obviously can’t trust that the other friends will come even if it’s rescheduled.

And if you wait until all of your flaky mates can actually make it I doubt you'll manage this side of 2030.

Of course go. And get in touch with Friend 2 and tell her she’s a complete louse.

I’d go and enjoy spending the whole evening slagging off let-down merchants.

I can't believe you are even asking this! You absolutely have to go. It would be incredibly rude to cancel on her- you'd be saying she's good enough to provide the food and drink, but not good enough to spend one-on-one time with.

Go and have fun - please don’t ditch her too

How hard will it be to keep the chat going when you're watching Eurovision? Surely you'll talk about the acts?

ask her if she still wants to do it just us, as youre still up for it if she is, or maybe look for somewhere showing it publically that you could go out and watch together

Go.

If you cancel as well now you are putting out a very clear signal that you (and she’ll probably think the rest of the group) don’t particularly like or value her. If that’s how you actually feel, I suppose it’s the perfect opportunity for her to find out although still very ‘mean girls’ of you all but she’s better off in the long run not investing in any of you anymore.

I can’t believe this is a serious question. You go, OP. And, in your shoes, I’d be messaging Friend #2 to castigate them for being flaky and rude after reconfirming YESTERDAY. What a dick!

I'm going! Thank you all for replying. I messaged her saying what a shame about the others, but I'm still.up for it, unless she'd rather not now it's just the 2 of us.

She replied almost immediately, she's really hoping to see me. She's obvs gone to a lot of trouble, prepared a buffet, (inc vegi options for the one who cancelled who's vegetarian)🤔 and made a fresh cream dessert that won't keep for long.

She only went shopping after myself & the other 'friend' confirmed yesterday we were coming. I'd feel awful about letting her down too, just couldn't do it to her.

I'm wondering if the one who apparently isn't well is just making an excuse, too. They're both more 'big groups in a pub sort of people' rather than the types for quiet catch-ups, I suppose I'm in between.

I want to at some point let the other two know she's hurt, I'm not sure she'd feel comfortable telling them direct.

Good for you and I’d definitely tell them. They need to understand that they’re being crap friends.

Glad you're going. She sounds a good friend who's put in a lot of effort. Have a good night.

That sounds fun. I bet you'll have a great time. I was once invited to go on a group camping trip arranged by my now ex flakey friend. All the other couples pulled out just leaving my family and 1 other family I didn't know very well. I was kind of dreading it and thought it would be awkward. It turned out we had a really good time and are the only ones if the original 'group' that get together regularly. Not flaking on plans goes along way in good friendships

My friends cancelled coming to me for Eurovision (in fairness it did involve travelling and an overnight stay) and now I don’t have anyone to watch it with so well done you for not letting your friend down :)

I’m glad you’re going. The other two sound a right pair of dicks.

Really crappy of the ‘friend’ who cancelled after she bought food.

This, definitely

Well done 🙂 have fun!

Definitely go. Can’t believe your friend cancelled because she was ‘too busy’ after confirming she was still okay to go only last night. What a sh*t friend.

Christ, how can you be too busy within a day of saying you can do it unless it was an emergency (which you would just say it was an emergency)!? How rude.

Glad you’re still going, I’m sure it will be fun.

I got invested in this thread very quickly, I'm so glad you're going! You sound like a good friend.

@Sunshadowscan’t rearrange- Eurovision is on tonight.
Id still go.

Thank you all, it would have been awful for her if all 3 of us had cancelled. She's a lovely person, i don't think she can easily get a word in when we're all together, so this might work better anyway!

I'm annoyed with the other two, so thoughtless. They obviously didn't fancy it, but why wait until the last minute and then make a crappy excuse!?

Tonight obviously means a lot to her.

As a kind gesture could you offer to contribute to the food cost?
One thing we love doing each year for the Eurovision is scoring the acts ourselves, you could do that and it could take away awkwardness