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Original poster

I've no friends

24 replies

BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 15:22

I'm 52 and I've no friends.
Most days it doesn't bother me but when the weather is nice,I'd love to have someone who I could ring and go for food and a few drinks.

I've joined clubs,online friendship groups.
And I find it so hard.
I just want someone to talk too and have a laugh with.

OP posts:
xmasdealhunter · 17/05/2025 15:36

Could you have a look for a group on meetup, and go to one of their events? My SIL has made a great group of friends through this. If you type 'Women's social' in, or 'Book club' (if you want a more focussed activity thorough which to meet people!) and then your area, lots come up, and each have different events listed. Find Events & Groups | Meetup. This one for example has a meetup in Portabello Market coming up, and you can see how many other people are going. 45+ Girl Friends Club | Meetup. Everyone who signs up is looking to make new friends/meet new people so that makes it slightly easier too :)

Catandsquirrel · 17/05/2025 15:40

Meetup group tonight if there is one, throw yourself out there?

What is it you find difficult would you say, particularly? Not a rhetorical question, maybe it's anxiety, or you've moved around a lot.

Picle · 17/05/2025 15:42

BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 15:22

I'm 52 and I've no friends.
Most days it doesn't bother me but when the weather is nice,I'd love to have someone who I could ring and go for food and a few drinks.

I've joined clubs,online friendship groups.
And I find it so hard.
I just want someone to talk too and have a laugh with.

Exactly the same here except I'm a little younger.

It's so hard @BobhopeNohope Flowers

ohyesido · 17/05/2025 15:44

It’s not unusual to find yourself without close friendships at this stage in life.

Picle · 17/05/2025 15:47

ohyesido · 17/05/2025 15:44

It’s not unusual to find yourself without close friendships at this stage in life.

Social media, MN and tv say otherwise.

TheBlueUniform · 17/05/2025 15:48

Have you always struggled to make friends or have you moved to a new area etc and lost contact with old friends?

Original poster
BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 15:51

TheBlueUniform · 17/05/2025 15:48

Have you always struggled to make friends or have you moved to a new area etc and lost contact with old friends?

I've always struggled to make and keep friends.
I'm an only child and my dm was very overbearing,.

OP posts:
TheBlueUniform · 17/05/2025 15:51

ohyesido · 17/05/2025 15:44

It’s not unusual to find yourself without close friendships at this stage in life.

I think that’s true for the people that haven’t bothered making the effort. Friendships take maintenance and effort on both sides and it’s ok not caring when you have kids/husband etc but in your 50’s would be about the time when you realise you wished you’d tried harder to maintain the friendship because it’s hard making new friends.

Fontet · 17/05/2025 15:53

Where are you x

GroovyChick87 · 17/05/2025 15:54

I believe this is more common than people realise so you definitely aren't alone. I do have friends but I've realised they are based on me doing favours for them rather than them wanting to spend time with me for fun. Basically if I say I can't help them, I don't hear from them.

Noshadelamp · 17/05/2025 15:56

I'm the same op, lost a few friends for various reasons over the last few years and now don't have anyone to ring for a chat or drink.

Have a look on Facebook for any local groups, friendship orientated groups, hobbies, book clubs etc

Usually the people that join them are they type of people who are actively seeking new friends and open to new people.

Noshadelamp · 17/05/2025 15:57

TheBlueUniform · 17/05/2025 15:51

I think that’s true for the people that haven’t bothered making the effort. Friendships take maintenance and effort on both sides and it’s ok not caring when you have kids/husband etc but in your 50’s would be about the time when you realise you wished you’d tried harder to maintain the friendship because it’s hard making new friends.

Show quote history

That works both ways though. I'm someone who's always made the effort and realised after a long illness that all my friendships were actually based on just that - me making the effort!.
And since I've not been in a position to do that due to the illness, my "friends" haven't reached out to me which is very hurtful.

Original poster
BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 16:26

Fontet · 17/05/2025 15:53

Where are you x

I'm in Dublin

OP posts:
LindorDoubleChoc · 17/05/2025 16:28

Mumsnet really needs a No Friends board. You could all chat to each other in a dedicated place, make friends, arrange meet-ups etc.

There are so many threads like this so you are definitely not alone OP!

Mary46 · 17/05/2025 16:41

Hi op god not easy. Same age here. Met a lovely friend today. She said people not as free now longer hours in work elder parents. I def realised lately Im the one putting massive efforts in so thats tiring too. So as others say fizzles out.. hobbies good too choir or book clubs as gets you out.

xmasdealhunter · 17/05/2025 18:00

There's several meetup events in Dublin, this group does a walk and then coffee/a drink Walk for Fitness & Socials 50's | Meetup, and they have more events available to see when you join (a pub meet up with no walk, for example!) They've got an event coming up in a few days, it might be worth a try and see if you enjoy it?

Bamboosockies · 17/05/2025 18:08

Same here, OP. I’m 46, and I have a DP and DC, but I’m a foreigner and I’ve moved around the UK a lot. I attend a hiking group, but I can only make it monthly. I’ve tried other groups, Pilates, wine tasting etc but it’s hard on the soul having to keep trying, putting on a brave face and being positive around people, hoping it will lead somewhere.
I’ve more or less accepted that I won’t have any close friends, but it’s hard at times. Like today, when I see people sitting outside bars/cafes chatting with friends.

Original poster
BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 18:16

@Bamboosockies I've joined thanks for the link.

OP posts:
Bamboosockies · 17/05/2025 18:26

@BobhopeNohope not me! 😆

Username2151 · 17/05/2025 18:33

I've always struggled to make and keep friends.
I'm an only child and my dm was very overbearing,.

@BobhopeNohope these two sentences; I could have written them myself.
With the same background, and the same struggles, and being older than you, it didn't get any easier, but in my case sadly I've resigned myself to it being the way it is.
There are likely a lot of good suggestions on here some of which you may not have actually tried before.
I would give them a try.
Even if you find one friend that you feel comfortable with and they with you, you'll feel so much better about yourself,and the confidence and happiness it brings you will show in you, and will attract others to you.

Original poster
BobhopeNohope · 17/05/2025 18:59

Bamboosockies · 17/05/2025 18:26

@BobhopeNohope not me! 😆

Sorry @Bamboosockies
🤣
Meant @xmasdealhunter Thanks for the link.

OP posts:
mymindispuff · 18/05/2025 16:16

I am about the same age and I am lucky enough to have friends. However, I think friendships can be very fluid, and as each of us change, shaped by our experiences, we can lose friendships(I have) or need different friends in our lives(I do!). From my own experience of making friends as someone older, I found it takes much much more time, and plenty of shallow experiences before you are able to reach a level of comfort and then actual deeper friendship. There were many awkward conversations, coffees that were built around boring but shared ground before things got better so all of those regularly attending activities, groups etc it will eventually bear fruit. I have a close friend now who I think took nearly two years before we really got to know each other.

Pearl69 · 18/05/2025 16:33

Same here OP.. I have a few friends but I still seem to spend an awful lot of time alone.

I had many friends when the children were young. But now in my 50s many have fallen by the way with commitments to elderly parents and grand children and just moved in in life.,

I think when I was in the thick of being a mum (with DH working away a lot) I didn’t make the effort to maintain my own life for various reasons. Whereas DH did and now has a very busy social life around his hobbies, that fail is on me.

It would just be nice to message someone and say do you fancy a coffee / walk / cinema. Lots of ideas in here that I might try out.

LushLemonTart · 18/05/2025 16:37

I hope you do try meet up. Tell us how you get on?
Are you on Facebook? Lots of social groups on there.

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