Need advice about anger management?

[towhoknowswhere]

Db is fundamentally a lovely man (I’m a little biased as we’re close) but he has adhd (diagnosed & medicated) and would be the first to admit he is abysmal at managing his anger.
This has impacted his life in so many ways, career, friendships and relationships etc He is full of self loathing and desperate to change but has reached a bit of a dead end and I want to help him.

He has a wellbeing service at work and self referred to this. He had a handful of online sessions with what sounded like some sort of wellbeing coach? This was largely unhelpful and although he has regular appointments for his adhd meds, the service is clearly overwhelmed and underfunded and he’s been offered no additional support.

We can afford to pay for help but a quick google search was overwhelming and I’m aware that the wrong help would be an expensive mistake.
Is his Gp the best place to go first? Or can anyone recommend a particular service (Db lives in the midlands)
Thank-you for reading!

DBT might be worth a shot? www.additudemag.com/dbt-for-adhd-dialectical-behavioral-therapy/?srsltid=AfmBOoog3hHdTPHrcAlcO3NBr69gcQqklHDCclzI1cIvXdoACJFMQd22

Thank-you, I will read that properly when I have a moment!

As you can pay it’s worth having an appointment with a private support service. I’m thinking along the lines of if he’d been diagnosed privately they would recommend eg a clinical psychologist as support.
The most important thing is to find someone who specifically has experience/expertise in treating the specific problem. So not any only therapist etc, it’s so important to sue a lot of due diligence before committing. I wouldn’t expect a work wellbeing service to be equipped for this sort of thing.

Also he could ask whomever he is having appointments with for meds for some advice/signposting. Eg asking what would they provide if they could.

it’s so important for him though to really, really understand that he is the key to his own recovery and nothing will work unless he puts in 100% and it will be rewarding but hard.

I did wonder if he should ask his adhd specialist/doctor, he gets on well with her and has opened up a little to her. Would they be knowledgeable about private help?
He waited 6 years to go on medication and really doesn’t want to sit on another waiting list (he’s massively aware he’s lucky to be in this position)

Chances are his adhd doctor already does private work alongside NHS! They will certainly be able to advise.

Thank-you, I will pass this on and make sure he asks at his next review

I second DBT

@alcoholnightmaredo you have experience of it?

Just to add, I'd suggest looking for someone who specializes in anger management rather than solely someone who works with ADHD/ND clients, and agree that it's likely to be on private basis especially if he prefers not to wait. Clinical psychologist rather than counselling / wellbeing service.

I’ve had a good look online and in our area there’s a clinic that offers DBT and other anger management programmes. I’m going to have a good look at reviews etc and then book an initial appointment if he’s happy to go.
Thank-you again everyone.

I do yes. I have EUPD and majorly struggle with anger, manipulation, and being controlling, and am an alcoholic. I’m currently doing weekly DBT and I’m finding it’s helping enormously.
I think I connect with DBT a lot as my degree was a social sciences one, working with many therapies so I have a very open mind to it, but DBT really makes sense to me.
takes a lot of practice though to remember the DBT skills I’ve learned when feeling emotions that challenge me.

I think, as an adult, he should be finding help for himself.

🙄my ex husband is still incredibly patient with me and my EUPD diagnosis which is why we have such an excellent coparenting relationship and our children thrive.
sometimes in life @SchrodingersTwat2, grown adults need support from those who love them the most.
fitting name by the way.

@alcoholnightmare
thats really helpful, thank-you. Good luck with your ongoing treatment!

@SchrodingersTwat2thanks so much for coming on here to give utterly pointless advice to someone who is desperate to help her brother.

I presume you’re either massively experienced/knowledgeable about how debilitating adhd can be or are very much like your username?