How to deal with group holiday after falling out

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Just that really. I’ve booked to go on a group holiday, it’s an annual thing with a large group of friends.
It’s one of the few times a year we all gather together. However since last year I fell out with one of the group, someone I used to be really close to. I’ve not managed to resolve the issue and now this year’s gathering is looming.

I did consider pulling out but then that would make me feel sad and cross because I don’t want to miss out seeing all our friends.

what is the best way to handle this situation? It’s a week long trip. There’s lots of others to hang out with but I don’t know how to deal with this?

Just be civil and otherwise crack on as normal.

unless you’re planning on being very boozy and then tensions might spill out 😬

Just go along, be civil. If the opportunity arises and they seem receptive, maybe you'll get to hash things out but I wouldn't approach them beforehand in a spirit of 'let's try and keep things friendly whilst we're away'. They may find that condescending/ controlling given that their version of events is probably different. In person may be a good opportunity to sort this out if you've had a long-standing friendship but I wouldn't make a beeline unless a clearcut apology is owed. They are doubtless having mixed feelings about this too.

It'll probably be a bit awkward but I'd go and style it out.
Just be your normal self, say hello and move on.
If you don't go this time you'll probably never go again.

Just go. Be civil as to not make it awkward for everyone else. But there’s no reason not to go.

Why did you fall out? Can’t you contact her and patch things up now?

Do other members of the group know you have fallen out?

Most things can be dealt with by bro g civil and breezy and keeping a few friends between you and her. Just keep to the moral high ground, stay relaxed, just don’t happen to engage with things she is doing etc. No passive aggressive stuff, nothing to make anyone else feel awkward.

If she slept with your DH another member of the group should strongly suggest she drops out.
And Vice versa.

To answer a couple of questions: yes, some of the group know there has been a fall out, it wasn’t a case of infidelity, more of a bubbling up of differences of personality over a period of time that led to the falling out. It wasn’t a big tiff or anything, more a slow falling out over time.

Yes, I’ve tried reaching out but with no success so a few months ago I decided to let it be. I’m ok with that.

I’m ok with steering clear and of course won’t say anything passive aggressive but I’m nervous about navigating this path.

If its a large group, then just act fine and breezy with her.

I think this is one of those situations where you're just going to have to accept that you will feel awkward and anxious beforehand and there's nothing you can do to change that but is still worth doing because other factors (seeing your other friends/maintaining your 'place' on the annual trip) outweigh the awkwardness. What you would like is to be able to go on the trip without the anxiety around the fall out (of course!) but that can't happen so it's a case of accepting that, holding your nerve and doing it anyway.

You can take a bit of comfort from the fact that she's likely feeling exactly the same about it and will hopefully be relieved and receptive to you being gracious and civil. It would be a shame for the annual trip to be ruined for either of you so I think you have to at least see how it is this year before you make any longer term decisions. There isn't a way to make this not-awkward though unfortunately so you just have to sit with the feeling I think 😕

On my ladies ski trip this year was someone I actively disliked the previous year. There were 10 of us, and I just made sure I never sat beside her, only spoke to her when not doing so would have made other people uncomfortable and generally ignored her. It was surprisingly easy and quite satisfying. It might gave been made more simple by the fact she was probably unaware of my feelings - we hadn’t argued but she is a very impatient person and had been unkind to me the previous year.

It kind of depends what you argued about, but it should be ok to ride out for a week. If anyone asks just tell them the truth - you had a bit of a falling out but you want both you and her to still be able to enjoy your group trip.

A meet up or a telephone call with the person you fell out with beforehand might help. It might not lead to a complete reconciliation but you can assure yourself you can become a bit more comfortable in each others’ company again. But ultimately I think ten is a good size group. Much better than say, you had fallen out with one of four.

That's fine, you're not a good match, just say hello and move on. Nothing terrible happened.

Bear in mind though, nothing more annoying than someone pushing for resolution to be the figure of reason and smooth things over when the other person isn't ready to talk, or there's more to it from their side. Not saying this is you but my mother is known for wanting things glossed over. Polite and accept you're just not the best of friends. That's absolutely fine. Don't try compensate or anything with the others.

I would just try to think of it as factually as possible and take the emotion out of it to shrink it to what it is - you’re less close than you once were but that’s ok because friendships change over time. Some stay the same, others become closer, others fade away - and this one has simply faded.

You can be friendly but not friends - and have a great holiday!

I would try and make up before you go up just a quick message of i don't want it to be awkward when we all go away and wondered if you fancied a chat, if she ignores you then just to your best to avoid her why your away. Another option would be to see if one of your mutual friends could talk to her and try and settle things