To worry I lack resilience?

[GreenYodaFace]

Hello. I worry I'm not as strong as others. For example I only have 1 child as no way could I cope with anymore. I work 4 days a week as couldn't do full time. I see people with like 3 to 4 kids working full time and I think that would end me !

You are giving yourself a really hard time. Everyone is different and that's no reflection on you!

Try to live your own life, really. We are all different and everyone is just doing their best. No need to go looking for problems.

Tbh I'm the same. I have one child and can barely cope with 4 day week. And as for a social life...!

Like PP live your own life x

I'm exactly the same OP and I only work 4 days too because I can't handle being around people for 5, I get worked up over things other people wouldn't bat an eyelid over and I cry over Pet Insurance adverts. For what it's worth you're doing better than me, I wouldn't even cope with one child!

I think we can be more or less resilient at different things. Some people that cope very well with challenge A might completely fold when presented with challenge B. That person who couldn't hack challenge A may take challenge B in their stride.

Try not to compare yourself to others, we're all different and I don't think you build your resilience by being harsh on yourself.

It’s great to know and understand yourself so well, and to make decisions accordingly. If you had less self awareness you could be struggling hugely (and plenty do). I’d say well done op, this is something that takes many of us years.

There’s no gold standard for resilience, though.

I wouldn’t say that is a lack of resilience, that is sn amazing bit of self awareness. You know your boundaries.
i work 4 days, my husband does 3. We have a cleaner and my mum does our ironing.

also you have no idea what is going on behind the doors of those people coping with 4 kids and fr jobs

I was a single parent for 3 years and I had to dig deep to keep going.

I know what you mean. I don’t know if it’s about resilience, more an ability to just get on with things, not overthink things, don’t sweat the small stuff. Most of which I am crap at! I’m also quite task-avoidant.

Knowing yourself is a good start. I’m trying to introduce maybe one or two more things a week I could do.

Oh well, come now! You’re being very harsh on yourself.

This by @WhatNoRaisins 100%.

I think we can be more or less resilient at different things. Some people that cope very well with challenge A might completely fold when presented with challenge B. That person who couldn't hack challenge A may take challenge B in their stride.

There will be someone tootling along perfectly happy with their 12 kids, working full time and running a business in the evenings who is looking at you thinking ‘wow I don’t know how she manages with xyz, that would completely floor me’.

Whenever I think about the seemingly small things that I feel have broken me, I think to myself about all the threads on here showing me that there are some really common things that women seem to be really struggling with, really life changing events that they need support with, but I sailed through those events really smoothly. Then they put in an insignificant sentence about some part of their life, maybe the only part they feel is going well, and I think ‘I had a breakdown because of that and I will never feel fully recovered’.

The bits you’re coping well with will be things you’re not even realising are issues for other people.

I also have one dc and I can’t work at all.
The least thing goes wrong and I struggle to cope.
I suppose I do lack resilience but I have had a hard life. I had to cope with a lot of bad stuff and take on responsibilities as a kid that most people wouldn’t be able to deal with as adults.
It’s not a shameful thing to not be resilient and it’s not an accomplishment if you are. It depends on many things, most of which people have no control over.

Also the way the birth rates are going those people coping fine with 3-4 kids and working full time are a minority.

It sounds like you have excess worry and are finding something to use it for. Who cares what level of resilience you have? You've got a DC and a 4-day a week job. There'll be people with more kids/working days/resilience and people with fewer kids/no job/zero resilience. You're doing you, crack on with that and get help with managing the worries. It's a waste of time and energy that could go into enjoying your life.