If you check your child’s phone, what do you check?

[ChocHotolate]

DS is 13 and has a smart phone which I check regularly. I check his WhatsApp messages, look at what videos are coming up on his YouTube feed and check what he is googling.

I’m fortunate that everything I’ve seen is very dull - Minecraft mainly, googling answers to homework questions and WhatsApp chats about Minecraft.
I’m wondering what everyone else checks? And if I need to be more thorough?

I still haven’t worked out what I think about phone checking. My DC1 still has not forgiven me for checking her phone, she considered it a real invasion of her privacy. I always waver about it, in my adolescence when I spent hours on the landline it would have been intrusive for my parents to pick up the extension & listen in, but then the landline wasn’t a route to the World Wide Web full of creepy strangers…

Is he on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok? I would have a quick glance at the sort of content he’s following on insta & TikTok. And I would check his friend list on Snapchat - they should all be people he actually knows.

He doesn’t have any other social media. Maybe I’m just lucky for now?

Bump for the afternoon

Is it set that he can only downloads apps with your approval from your phone?

If not have a look at the apps. DS2's bestie's mum realised recently when she looked that he was downloading Snapchat and TikTok daily, and then deleting them on the way home.

My main thing is - who are they talking to and who are they not talking to? Sometimes people vanishing from chats is the biggest clue that there are friendship issues.

Also have you been checking the Minecraft chat history?

The deleted photos folder is also one to keep an eye on

Everything. Photos, messages, apps. History. Deleted folders. He never knows when I’m going to do it, he could be just sat looking at it and I’ll ask to check there and then. He’s fine with it because if he was he wouldn’t have a phone! And so long as what’s on isn’t dangerous or a safeguarding concern then I don’t mention anything that I see or read.

imo it is a crazy invasion of privacy because it shows your child that privacy is earned not a basic right. which (imo) is super wrong because this tells them that their parent doesnt even trust them. only times a phone check is a must is when you suspect that something illegal is happening and there is a reason for the suspicion. then again its your kid

I do a random spot check on ds14 phone. Messages the lot.

Ooh I never thot of that!

I would search the App Library. They can still have the apps but not have them on the homepage.

Log out if all apps, and see if they have any secret ones. My dd had 2 Instagrams and 2 snapchats.

U clearly have been lucky enough to not have to protect your child from predators who are prowling constantly everywhere on phones that kids are too naive enough to not be able to tell the difference when a fake account by said predators try to add or converse.
please don’t be ignorant enough to trust your child enough to know the difference, I’d rather my kid didn’t trust me or hated me for checking their phone than be abused by a
paedo or worse, don’t ever think it won’t happen to your kid. Read the news. Read their phones. Keep them safe, no one is checking their kids phones for fun ffs.

Dd is nearly 13...i check;
WhatsApp
Texts inc deleted
Snapchat saved photo roll
Pinterest messages and saved pins (found some scary suicidal ideation ones recently which required intervention)
Emails

I also check her documents inc downloads just to be safe

@Blimeyblighty Mine knew from the start that as they are under 18 the phone contract is in my name meaning I am legally responsible for what's on it. Therefore I get to check it whenever I deem it necessary. That was daily when they first got them, then weekly, now rarely. I have repeatedly told them they should have nothing on their phone they don't want on the school notice board or don't want to show their grandma 😂
If I find deleted messages, there's a chat and consequences- although DD learnt pretty early on that deleted on one side of the chat doesn't mean deleted on the other persons phone.

I check messages, history and apps.

Anyone under the age of consent and not paying their own bill does not get automatic privacy.

Dd was made fully aware when she was given her phone that it is mine. I pay the bill, and I am responsible for the content on it. She has the right to use it as she sees fit, but if I find inappropriate use of it she also knows she will lose the right to use it.

Trust is learnt.

Privacy doesn't beat safeguarding a child. In the same way that GDPR comes second to safeguarding in schools, hospitals, Social care etc.

We cant expect young people to navigate the "entire world" on their phone ! Would anyone let their 13 yo go travelling alone ! But to the worlds seediest places ? No !
Check the phones