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Annoying behaviour at work

8 replies

Bluebluetuesday · 14/05/2025 15:33

NC for this.
Work in a small team, one colleague, Amy, is annoying. She lacks many social skills, can't read a room and is quite bossy. I let this wash over me - like many of us I have young dc and a busy life, I give my all at work, but rarely think about it once I'm out the door. We're working at a fairly senior level. I suspect Amy has ASD qualities, she hasn't disclosed a diagnosis to me, but of course she wouldn't need to even if she had one.

One colleague is especially annoyed by Amy and every few months will call her out, there's absolutely no shouting / swearing / intimidating behaviour etc, but she will be quite forthcoming and challenge Amy on being bossy / cherry picking the juiciest work etc.

This has all come to a head and we're being asked to give statements to HR, is it bullying etc.

I think as adults in the workplace we need to be tolerant of each other's quirks and just get on with it. But equally some people do feel the need to get things off their chests to move on etc.

I'm sure I annoy people at work, but no one's ever called me on it, I'm not sure how I'd feel if they did.

Do you call people out at work for being annoying?

OP posts:
Terrribletwos · 14/05/2025 15:36

How is she annoying? What statements are you asked to give specifically?

MiloMinderbinder925 · 14/05/2025 15:40

There are procedures at work and it's generally considered inappropriate to publicly 'get things off your chest.'

This comes across as bullying because it seems to be a pattern of behaviour.

chipsticksmammy · 14/05/2025 15:40

Yes, I would. You have to. Annoying to one person could be intimidating and hurtful to someone who feels less able to say something as they constantly being left with the less juicy work(for example).

Is Amy being accused of bullying or is Amy making the accusation? It sounds like it could be both from the above.

Bluebluetuesday · 14/05/2025 15:42

So she'll sometimes do things the manager should do, e.g chase our case files - she's ridiculously organised and likes this side of work, I actually don't mind the prompt but it can annoy the others.
She can be quite persistent at things when you've said You haven't got the space for it today, it's not malice it's just her personality.

We've been asked to give statements on what we've seen, witnessed etc, and I'm dreading being asked an opinion on if it's bullying, I think it's just a personality clash.

OP posts:
Ilikewinter · 14/05/2025 15:45

Are they saying the colleague who called Amy out is bullying Amy?.
I get rubbing along with each other but if it becomes a daily thing then I can see why your colleague had enough. Tough one OP, I think you just be honest with what you saw.

BeNiceWhenItsFinished · 14/05/2025 15:53

Just tell them what you have told us about how you and she interact with one another, the difficulties you have, and things that you are frustrated by. If you have seen or heard any confrontations between her and other staff members in public, then you can recount what you remember. I wouldn't go as far as offering an opinion on whether you think there has been any bullying, that's not your call to make. Just give them the facts as you know them.

purplecorkheart · 14/05/2025 15:54

Who is being investigated for bullying, this is quite important?

I would be very factual and say Amy reminded that Report x is due on Friday and would it be ready by then. I felt that she did not have the authority to ask me this and this was the role of my manager.

I saw Amy and X having a discussion. I believe they were discussing their roles with in the business and the boundaries of these roles.

If HR ask you if it is bullying or not tell them that the word bullying is subjective and you do not know their exact definition of bullying so therefore feel you should not comment.

At best it will be seen as not taking sides and at worse may prevent you have to give evidence at a employment tribunal.

chipsticksmammy · 14/05/2025 16:49

I think you just have to be very factual with HR and give your examples.

Always a tough one when it’s a work investigation.

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