If you don't pay pocket money for chores how does it work?

[Littlebittiredoflife]

I really don't want to pay my children money for chores as I want them to be an expected part of taking part in family life. For example keeping room tidy, hanging up washing, helping to cook dinner or drying up. At the moment I just give them a certain amount a month but I'm not sure this really teaches them the value of money. I have heard of getting them to do jobs that save you significant time or money like cleaning the car or mowing the lawn but they are too young for this (6 and 11- well maybe the 11 year old is not too young but definitely would need supervising as they are a bit scatty).

I also like the idea of commission a song or a piece of art from them but this feels frivolous in a way! What other jobs could I give them to earn money and how much would I charge for them? They get £10 a month at the moment. How do other people manage pocket money if they don't want to pay for chores?

They do chores because they are part of the family and contribute to the household in an age-appropriate way.

They receive pocket money ALSO because they are part of the family and benefit in an age appropriate way.

They aren’t paid to do their tasks; those need doing regardless of bribes. There is no opting out other than for illness or exam revision.

What if they don’t want any money, or they got a lot of birthday cash… “not making my bed or walking the dog this month, Mum, because Auntie Sue gave me a tenner.”

Where punishment is required, and it generally isn’t, the Wi-Fi going off usually provided sufficient motivation.

I just give my teenager pocket money. She does her share of the chores as a member of the household. No one in the house gets paid for doing chores.

DC 13 and 12 do chores and always have done. They lay the table for all meals when they are home. They unload the dishwasher. They keep their bedroom tidy, make their beds every day, and put all dirty clothes in the hamper. They buy the bread and help bring up the shopping and unpack it. They take down the bins. They help with meal préparation. We ask them to vacuum sometimes.
Their main ‘chore’ is helping with their grandmother who has dementia and they do that really well.

They do not get pocket money but being particularly helpful will earn them some TV time. We don’t have a lot of cash but if they want something they can ask for it and we do our best.

The only job I ever paid my dc for doing was washing and vacuuming the car.

All other household chores were "Come and do this with me". I gradually did less as their competence increased, but never expected them to take over the chore entirely.

All my dc can do pretty much all of the household chores, but I don't expect them to do them unprmpted. I don't count things like sorting and putting their laundry in the correct laundry basket and keeping their rooms tidy. Those I do expect them to do independently. Other jobs I expect to ask once and they get done.

The one exception is dishes. The person who cooked is not expected to unload the dishwasher or do the dishes.

This really with that age group. Wifi
is a marvellous motivator for the next ten years.
We do a £5 a week for age 12 and 14. Expectation of clean rooms, and dishwasher, dog walking duties etc. Anything else needs to be earned. Fair fixed pay for a decent job. It’s only really effective now at almost 13+ where “needs” outstrip funds.

Exactly this.

What other jobs could I give them to earn money and how much would I charge for them? They get £10 a month at the moment. How do other people manage pocket money if they don't want to pay for chores?

I don't think 6 and 11 year olds need to earn money . I'm the first to want to stamp out bratty entitled behaviour, but even I think this is a bit extreme.

6 is too young to be getting pocket money. What would they spend it on?

11yo is fine, and your suggested amount seems fine - it'll cover the odd bit of junk food or a nail varnish or something?

Chores aren't paid because they are just a fact of life.

Not everything has to have, or indeed has, a monetary value attached to it and I think that's a very valuable lesson for children to learn.

When the time comes - and there will be plenty of time - they can get actual paid employment.

When you get to that stage. Put control software on any devices. From day 1. You will have a battle royal to do
it afterwards

I don’t like calling them chores because they’re not a chore! I like to encourage a connection to wellbeing, feeling good, consequences, and not martyring ourselves…

So we tidy our rooms because they feel nicer to be in,
We put our laundry in the basket so we have clean clothes to wear,
we learn how to do things like emptying the dishwasher, how to use the washing machine, how to cook bits and bobs in training for grown up life,
etc.

Pocket money is a separate conversation… it’s £x a month and DC buys what he wants with it. Any needs are provided by me. His wants always outstrip his means! So that’s where learning about budgeting and considering purchases carefully comes in. When it’s gone, it’s gone.

Yes we are doing a quite a bit together with the youngest like folding laundry. The oldest has fallen out of step with contributing so getting them back in board with prepping part of the dinner and loading the dishwasher (we've had a stressful year so some things hit the back burner).

The youngest has been getting pocket money for over a year. He saves it for big Lego sets when we visit a Lego/toy shop (usually only 2-3 times a year) and he brings it to days out to spend in the gift shop. Similar for the older one although she is currently saving for a Switch 2. They spent 2 plus years saving up for a big ticket item from age 7, so I do think they are getting the value of money, just not the value in earning money. They get birthday and Christmas money from family too.

I totally agree that paying for every task may lead to them choosing not to contribute, so I wanted to give them the option to earn more. Say go down to £5 a month base but the option to earn more by doing bigger jobs that aren't expected of them daily.

I would never pay for regular household tasks - we are a family and everyone needs to contribute to that. All of these things as teaching moments - I want to model good behaviour to my DC so they grow up to understand that they need to contribute and they should expect others to contribute. They learn how to do things around the house as they go, and our expectations of them change as they get older.

They have an allowance because everyone in the family has access to some of their own money. They learn how to manage online banking, how to budget, save, prioritise what they want to spend their money on. We review allowances regularly with DC input to check they have just enough to treat themselves little things but not so much they never have to prioritise. If they want extra they’ll have to wait for a birthday or Christmas, or I would pay for extras like an afternoon helping to clear garden beds or ironing their own school shirts. Added bonus when there’s a new skill in there as well.