I need help. I feel absolute rage over such little things.
I have DD8 with cerebral palsy and autism and DD4. I'm so frustrated everyday over nothing. Have to get both DD's ready because neither can do themselves. Late for school every day. Today it's 8.26 and I'm not even dressed. I burst out crying whilst trying to rush. Complete waste of time. I know it but can't help it.
Trying to get out the door and they're arguing who goes out first. I lose it and yell that we are already late. Now I feel bad that I've put it on them. It's rinse and repeat every day. Walking to school and we can't go fast since DD1 is slow due to CP and DD2 is a slow toddler. So I feel the rage that we can't get anywhere fast. Again, not there fault so more rage inside for how I'm feeling. DD1 droning on about her special interest for the millionth time and DD2 skipping along but tugging my arm each time, more rage. Why can't we just bloody walk to school. I absolutely know I'm being unreasonable and they are only kids but I can't help it and then I reach boiling point and I'm just so frustrated and angry inside so by the time someone asks me something I snap, WHAT! You can absolutely see that they have no fucking clue what's just happend and I'm sweating in this bloody sun because I got dressed in a rush and I'm wearing jeans. By the time I'm home I just sit there wondering what the hell is wrong with me. These poor kids do not deserve this