Pissed off with my “kind” neighbour

[Peony1985]

More of a rant
I live on a nice estate with the front doors and a token bit of grass facing the road and small fenced back gardens to the rear. There’s high fencing with tall gates ( can’t see over) leading onto private parking at the back.

We all take in parcels for each other and usually just wait until people knock for them. Amazon leave mine in my porch at the front, so aside from that it’s just the odd thing from Royal Mail.
My neighbour on one side has taken to opening my back gate, walking through my garden and leaving my parcel by the back door.
I felt a bit uncomfortable as we have little privacy so respect what we have. The houses have the only living space directly leading into the garden. She is clearly able to see into my house and have a nosey.
She’s quite gossipy and judgemental.

I the thanked her the first time and said she could leave any parcels under my bin store by the back gate ( thinking she didn’t want me disturbing her by knocking).
This is the third time she’s gone right up to the back door and left it there. There was loads of stuff left out in the garden so it’s clearly not inviting for visitors at the moment. Myself I just wouldn’t go into someone’s back garden uninvited.

I know some of you live in areas parcels get nicked and the neighbours are shit. I still feel she’s being intrusive.
I put “ don’t leave with neighbours” but stuff still seems to go to them.

To avoid having to carry a key, use a simple combination padlock. They only take a few seconds to release, so really not Fort Knox.

That’s a bizarre design. Surely you want to make your property safe from burglars so you would want to lock the gate from the inside? I think your neighbour is the least of your worries if anybody can just open your gate and walk in.

Why do you feel it’s not ok for her to offload the parcels she’s taken in for you quickly?

I understand the OP. The OP would be happy with parcels being left out the front. There have been many "so easy" suggestions. All which involve expense or hassle.

Reading this thread it is the OP being unreasonable if she can't be arsed to buy a parcel box, lock her gate at inconvenience to herself, draw her curtains everyday or have a bloody good tidy up.

Come on OP if you don’t spend money and/or time, you can't complain about the busy body tresspassing.

You don’t understand her behaviour while I don’t understand why you can’t accept her warm neighbourliness in good faith

I stick a note on my door when I’m expecting a delivery to say “please leave in shed if I’m out” and that works fine. Could you do similar mentioning your bin store?

1. Lock the gate
2. Close the curtains on parcel day
3. You want to be grateful you live somewhere your parcels don’t get stolen.
4. Use click and collect drop boxes.

I’m always so grateful for my neighbours taking in our parcels. If you can’t appreciate them doing you a favour, there are so many other options available to you.

Because she gets something out of it, internally I mean, a warm glow or whatever from being helpful. Two choices tell her , but personalise it say I not you so I am uncomfortable with people coming into the garden or shove something heavy behind the gate or is that the way you access it?

im glad I live where I do, if a parcel doesn't need a signature it just gets left on the doorstep. Now one can be there a week if we are on holiday of course!

Yes! We are the same. Parcels left at the front are always fine.
Thats why it feels intrusive when she comes right through the garden up to my living space. We respect the boundaries because no one needs gate locks or closes their windows etc.
It would be perfectly fine to open my back gate and just leave it there.

You need one of these locks OP. They can be locked/unlocked from both sides. They are very easy to install yourself too, if you have some basic tools.

I understand how you feel it's intrusive. When we first moved to our current house, it was open at the side into the back garden. My SIL would think nothing of walking round and peering in the windows to check we weren't home if she had no luck at the front door - I know this because she told us she'd done it! We fitted a 6' high gate with lock very soon after...

YABU. If this is the only issue you've had a result of leaving your back gate unlocked then you are very lucky (and probably on borrowed time before your luck runs out). The setup you've described is a burglar's dream.

Remove the package from your back door and put it back where she got it from, do this a few times with the same package, she'll soon start to feel a bit weird. Oh, and keep your curtains closed at the back. 😈

Oh for heaven’s sake!!

Give her something to really shock her next time you think she might have a package of yours. Spend an afternoon ironing in the buff in full view of your back window?

Although I'm sure if you researched enough, you'd find a lock that would work for your gate situation.

Looks like @SkankingWombat has done the work for you.

talk about 'right over your head'!

I can’t close my curtains my poor plants need the light!

Thanks @SkankingWombat. It’s bloody annoying to have to think about locking the gate, as very low crime here, just because my neighbour has no boundaries.

Also I don’t think I am being precious. I can hear next doors dad had just arrived at their back gate and even he has stopped and shouted out to them before walking through the garden.

Anyway I have said that it’s very kind and could she leave parcels by the bins as it’s safer. Hopefully she’ll do that from now on,

Lock the back gate - simple!

Use a double locking long throw lock on the gate - it will be handy for you as well as more secure.

Put a bucket of water on the gate so when she opens it she gets a shock?! 😳

If you can’t put a lock on your gate get your parcels delivered elsewhere like those inPost/Amazon lockers or post offices/shops that have a collection service

Lock the gate. And tell her again

All the neighbour has to do is leave parcels at the back - as requested. The OP is NOT being unreasonable.