Fed up with life

[Surroundedbyfools]

I have 2 DS’s 1.5 and 3 years old. I work 2.5 days a week. My DH is self employed so he works 6 days a week. I work on his day off. I feel guilty but I am just fed up, my kids don’t behave for me ever. I literally can’t sit down in my own home but they are climbing on me, the furniture, screaming, bickering, demanding. We are constantly skint. I have so many toys, activities etc for the kids but it’s just like nothing is good enough. I give them plenty attention and on his one day off they behave better for DH than me. I just feel so down and flat. I do nothing for myself and don’t see many people at all apart from my work and going to the shops. I can’t afford to and no childcare anyway. Every day I feel like I’m just counting down the hours to bed time for everyone. Couple this with looking at social media and everyone “cherishing every moment”
is it just me who feels like this ?

Only one year left til one starts school. Hang in there. It gets easier. However, I loved the younger years but I am a big kid at heart and we had annual memberships to zoos, safaris, aquariums, farms and had loads of free museums nearby. We were never in. Always out and about. It was cheaper 15 to 20 years ago. The cost now is so much more!!!

Now the weathers better just get out and about let them run in parks etc.

I wouldn’t say I cherished it either I am just a very task orientated person so I always had a plan for each day.

Is it an option to work full time and have the kids in nursery/childminders? With both parents working you'd be eligible for the free hours. It's shit when you do nothing for yourself I know.

It's a tough time now but it will get better, do you have an established routine? Maybe identify the reason why they might behave differently for both parents and see what you can change? Can you find a free activity or group you can join on an evening when your partner looks after the children? People only show their best on social media, I bet half of them or more are feeling just like you are!

Sadly no. I just can’t afford that. I’m in Scotland so younger one doesn’t get any free hours until they are 3, some ppl do get them from when they are 2 but strict criteria very little of which is positive. The older one is at nursery and absolutely loves it, it’s a great nursery. Again at nursery he is engaged and beautifully behaved. I try to get out with them as much as I can but sometimes they r just a nightmare out and I find myself standing in parks with kids not behaving and screeching and I’m thinking this is shit. I don’t even want to be at the park I hate the sun lol ! I think the thought of school holidays looming over me has me feeling worse. I just feel so isolated and unreasonably annoyed when I see people I know who have weekends as a family etc when im just alone all the time. I do hope it’ll get easier.

Yeah they r absolutely in a routine. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane. I feel like when they are with my DH it’s like a novelty for them so they are reasonably well behaved. Whereas I’m there all the time trying to cook, clean, shop, entertain them all at once !

It gets easier I promise. I remember those early days and it was hell. Everyone would tell me “these are the best days of your life” but I just coasted through on coffee and hope. It will be better as they get older, and you’ll have your life back. Hang in there !

If you have the energy for a book I highly recommended Calmer, Happier Easier Parenting. It dug me out of that awful cycle you’re describing.

Those ages, and that age gap is hard going. And it’s easier to be a good, consistent, calm parent when that’s just one day out of seven.

But there are tricks to learn. Read the book, or listen on audible while you run the legs off them round the park.

Ah I remember those days, I promise it gets better. Just keep on keeping on and you'll get there

I completely understand. Ive only got one and it's a nightmare when he won't listen and messes about. I couldn't handle two. You're at the worst point with their ages at the moment so hopefully it gets better soon for you 🙏

Thanks everyone: it’s good and relieving to know that it’s not just me who has found these ages to be an absolute slog !! I’ll try and read that book. Every post I see on Facebook that’s oh u will miss these days I’m like seriously ? I’m going to miss getting booted in my chest sweating my tits off wrestling kids into the car taking them out somewhere they won’t appreciate! I do love them so so much but just so desperately would like break and to leave my house without a child other then to go to work.