3rd baby and age gaps

[Luanaa]

I have two children (aged 2 & 4). Can’t really imagine having another baby right now as I very much have my hands full! I cannot rule out trying for one more in the future but worried that a bigger age gap between DC1&2 and potential 3rd would be difficult to navigate (in terms of activities, holidays, obviously they would have different interests and in different age groups for clubs etc). Would it be wise to either make a decision and try sooner rather than later or… wait but potentially decide not to try due to DC1&2 growing up and not wanting to go back to nappies! (But potentially regret not trying?!)

We went for two close together and number 3 arrived just as number 2 started school. We took longer than planned to get pregnant, but to be honest this has worked really well. 5 days a week I get a good block of time to bond with baby and do all the nice groups/ contact naps etc without feeling guilty that my older ones aren’t getting enough attention. They older ones absolutely adore DD, she gets so excited when I get her in the car for school pick up wanting to see DS1&2. They also love to play with her and make her laugh which is great. Days out so far have been okay, we don’t do things like theme parks etc as our older do have additional needs but we do swimming and use a float boat or water sling and then I can still be involved with everyone and nobody misses out, we holidayed last year just after DD was born and never felt like I missed time with the older ones, to be honest DD just slotted into our routine and is quite happy and chilled so we are very lucky. We still go out very regularly and do things like parks/forests etc and it’s been great.

my Gaps are 2,2,3,8 years

Third is hard because the eldest and youngest have a big age gap and the middle child does get squeezed between their needs.

my easiest gap was the last child after 8 years however she is a teen now and the older ones have moved out. It is a bit lonely so we have to make a big effort with lifts to friends.

I know this is not an easy decision to make, I would base it on how you are, age, work etc and how you see yourself in 10 years.

We tried for a few months last year just after DC2 turned 2. Nothing happened then we chickened out, but are now revisiting and thinking we might try for DC3. DC1 is 5.5 and DC2 is almost 3. If we got pregnant now, then there be a just over 6 year gap between the eldest and youngest, and almost 4 years between 2 and 3. We're still not sure though. I've heard lots of people say it's nice having a bigger age gap between 2 and 3.

I also think it depends on what you like doing as a family and so whether the age gap really matters. E.g. we do stuff that is generally accessible/ enjoyable for all ages, our usual days out would be national trust, beach, forest, etc, and there is something for all ages.