Do you like going out in the evening?

[OneFootInTheDave]

That’s the question - does anyone really enjoy organised big evening events like wedding receptions, birthday parties etc, especially when it’s a large group of people, many of whom don’t know each other that well?

I’d be much more inclined to go if it was a daytime event, whereby I can go home by 7-8pm. I just don’t want to be out and about at 10-11-midnight as I then spend hours trying to wind down afterwards and have a rubbish nights sleep and probably a bit of a hangover to follow.

I’m sure I’m probably just getting old (early 40’s), but I don’t think I’ve ever really enjoyed these events, but now I just feel even less inclined to go and find myself wondering if I can make a legitimate excuse to not go.. I don’t dread them as such (I’ll go if it’s a close friend), it just feels like a real chore and I feel quite drained for days afterwards.

Is it just me? Have I officially joined the old bastard club!?

No, it annoys that my evening routine starts later and I don’t get to crawl into bed by 9.30pm

I'm with you on this. I used to love to go out dancing, maybe I enjoyed parties, I don't know, but it's been a very long time since I've wanted to be out of an evening. Like you, it takes me hours to wind down after. And then I need a lot of time to recoup quietly alone the next day, so a Friday or Saturday evening events can wipe out my weekend. I recently politely declined an invitation that was for a big evening party by saying something along the lines of, "thank you very much for the invitation. It looks like it's going to be a blast. I'm just replying for your rsvp numbers to let you know that I won't be there. I hope you all have a wonderful time. It would be good to find a time to meet up soon!". I got pushed a bit on declining, and I finally just said "I don't do evenings/parties/loud things anymore". This was sent to an extrovert who will struggle to understand, and will assume that I'm just not making an effort, but he's a close friend and I was testing the waters with honesty. In future I will just give a white lie of having some unshiftable plan in place.

YANBU.
I'm glad you are only early 40s and feel like this. I'm 60 and feel less and less inclined to be out late. I know what you mean about having a crap night's sleep afterwards, though it doesn't last for days afterwards.

I thought it was me being unreasonable....

I'll suck it up for a wedding reception or meal out at friends, as it's only occasional but I'd MUCH rather have a daytime get-together.

I don't drink often, either, so it can be tedious to be with others you don't know, who are ( quite reasonably) drinking, I just find it boring and can't wait for the time I can legitimately say goodnight and go home.

Yes, at my recent big milestone party, I was discreetly clock watching and the minutes felt like hours as my ‘social battery’ was completely run down 😑

Well done you on declining, I think it’s hard to say no when it’s a close friend and I genuinely want to be there to celebrate them. I just wish it could be done during the day😅

I love going out in the evening particularly when it’s light and warm in summer.

but I hate big birthday parties and events where you don’t know anyone/have to make small talk. I actively avoid them I’m in a similar age bracket to you OP.

Likewise.

It’s the not being able to wind down after late evening socialising, it just switching my brain up to maximum effort and then it won’t turn off!

No, I'm 40, and I love going out. I love to dance and sing. I don't drink, so I much prefer to skip the bar bit and head straight for the nightclub or main event! I just want to dance, fling myself around and let my hair down.
As I don't drink, other than being a bit tired the next day if I don't get a bit of a lie in, I'm not affected by it. Maybe try it without the alcohol if you haven't? As everyone else is drunk it means they don't remember me being a tit dancing about 😂. I'm the drunkest undrunk!

Yes I’m the same. I don’t mind going out in the evening with DH, or with a small group of close friends, but big parties exhaust me. Part of it is the noise, I just find the combination of loud music and people shouting over it so draining.

Not any more. I'm 50.
I'm too busy in the week and want to slow down at weekends.

Our street isn't lit properly after dark any more (town centre, council cutbacks) and there are limited car parking spaces. I do not want to head out and have to battle for a parking space at 11pm or trudge to my house in the near dark as I've had to park down the road.

Special events only for me now if it’s a late one. I had a great time at BIL’s wedding last year and I’m looking forward to a summer ball this year. I don’t like going out late once a month or so like I used to.

Nope. I much prefer being home, in my jammies and on the sofa with the cat by 7.30

Depends on what we have to do the following day
Venue
Weather

If you can relax the following morning, travel home is interesting, I don’t mind.

Have walked home with H on many a lovely evening (dry basically doesn’t have to be warm we have clothing for that) after events in our local area, social and entertaining.

We love the night sky, I like urban areas lit with street lighting, I even like car lights reflected in puddles, almost like watery fireworks on the ground. And you definitely need a reason to be out night walking.

Social events, people dressed up, small talk to catch up nothing deep or heavy, friends and family putting on events they are pleased you turned up because of their effort, what’s not to enjoy? The alternative another night at home as you slowly crawl to the finishing line of death!

Invitations are just that they are not conscriptions.

I'm fine going out late, I'm 50 but have lived in Spain 20+ years, so it's now second nature. Also it's safe to walk through town at night, even at 2am, as so many other people are out!

We went out for NYE to a friend's house, crawled home at 4.30am, including the 14yo.

No i like day drinking and eating. Even on holiday I'm in bed wellbefore 10.

When I was younger I used to but would now rather go out in the day and be home in the evening

I’m 52 and I love going out in the evening.

YANBU.
I dread invite’s because I either have to think up an excuse not to go or drag myself out and, despite being teetotal, suffer the consequences. It can take me days to recover! An afternoon event would be far better, so I could be home at a decent time to unwind.

I just don’t have the inclination or the energy these days. I’d far rather be home in my pj’s, thanks very much.

I've never particularly enjoyed going out in the evening unless it is just me going somewhere local and walkable with DH and/or my DDs.

So, I guess I'm with you really.

I’m a self reformed party animal. In my twenties and thirties I would get FOMO if I didn’t go to everything! I was always described as the life and soul of the party! I only started winding down in my 40’s but realised I was finding excuses not to go more often.

I’m late 40’s now and don’t drink. I prefer weekends to be about winding down, tv/films/ reading or a quiet meal out. I am a fan of the Day Fever events though as I love a good dance but can leave at 7pm 😅

I'm 45 and dread going out in the evening. Once I'm out im ok but the next 2-3 days I am wiped out. Even if I drink or don't drink I'm still the same. I rarely go out though so don't turn down an invite but I won't plan anything the weekends before or after it!

We’re the same! I would never have believed hearing myself say this 20y ago! I was a huge socialiser. I loved partying, clubs, the odd rave. I guess life changes, new eras etc.

I find socialising with semi-strangers / acquaintances quite draining now. It reminds me of working really. I work in a very social industry and have had to attend my fair share of ‘networking’ events and it’s feels similar to that I suppose.

That said, if it was during the day I would be much more inclined and enthused to go. It’s the fact it’s the evening and I just know I won’t be able to get to sleep / wind down for hours after.

I don’t drink a lot, just have a few, but even that keeps me awake and not feeling good the next day now. 😵‍💫

Yeah, this is exactly how I’m getting😅

I used to love a party and was a real night owl. Now I can't bear the thought of going out in an evening. I love to get my pjs on after tea and am in bed, reading, by about 8.30pm.

I've declined so many evening 'dos' in recent years because I can't be bothered to make the effort and go and I know I'll be yawning and knackered and wishing I was home in bed by about 10pm.

Well I very, very rarely go to proper evening social events. I'm in my early 50s and I'd have said that since my early 40s I can't really be arsed and would rather chill out at home with dh.

But... I've just arranged to go to a black tie dinner event, hours away from home, involving a long train journey, an overnight stay in a hotel and lots of people I don't know (and a handful I know well). And do you know what - I'm actually really excited about it! Maybe I'm getting my mojo back