TW Rape some men just don’t get it all - how to channel my anger

[UName38]

I have not experienced sexual assault or rape, though many
Had a discussion in coffee after church about power in the church, context whether the new Pope will make actual changes in the official status of women, three women one man.

I had never discussed with him before and annoyed but not that surprised about his views on power should be men in the church.

Discussing when one of the women talking about men using physical power in things like rape and political power to not deal with it.

I had a visceral reaction to this man saying men are raped more by women then the other way. I pushed back on it then left the discussion (I actually had to anyway to catch my bus.)

Obviously won’t be talking to him and happy to explain why.
Otherwise hoe to channel my anger and sorrow?

I don’t totally follow the discussion that you had, I’m sorry.

And he sounds like a dick.

Ways to channel your feelings-
obviously prayer, for justice, equity, comfort for the oppressed and empathy in the oppressors etc.
and talk to the leadership team about what the church is doing to address it. Say you’ve heard some very archaic/toxic views on the role of women and would like to see teaching that emphasises social justice around the different sexes.

Sorry it wasn’t clear. This man was saying men should be in charge in and out of the church. Something us women could challenge. I’m not upset by that.

As part of that this man said that men are raped by women, and secondly then men are rsped more.
it wasn’t just his horrible view - when you added it to the view that men should be in charge it felt he was as if he was saying rape is OK. (Now I’m thinking for example that it is only since women got some political power that forced sex in marriage is rape).

And is he in a position of leadership?
If he’s a random congregation member I’d raise it with the leadership team.
If he’s in leadership, I’d complain to the church authority, and leave for a different church.

You can’t argue with ignorance and he clearly wants to be ignorant. You either laugh at him, or move along.

“Just” in the congregation so as far as church goes I think leave it.
Otgerwise I’m going to look at charities, national or local that teach young men or boys about rape. Too late for this man but not others

It is pushing the blame for men's behaviour onto women, the way paedophiles do, 'it wasn't me it was the child'. 'It wasn't me it was the woman forced me to'. I wouldn't be surprised if he was guilty of some sort of not so consensual sex, all the woman's fault though. Really twisted logic, I would keep well away from that man.

Indeed

Is he single perchance? 2000 years of men being in charge hasn't been a great success. Perhaps it's time to try something else?

Your Church may have a safeguarding team. I would report this to them or to the diocese. He is not safe to be in any position of authority.