15 years ago I met someone. A short while later I became pregnant with Dd. I had been on the pill. But we broke up before I realised. I sent him a message to tell him I was pregnant no reply. So that was that.
When I was seeing him I had a toddler who was running around playing in the living room. Every time I left I would hear ds hands slam onto the floor . But it never ever happend when I was in the room. So I thought he was doing it. I never spoke to him about it I just ended the relationship.
Also after I had told him I remeber seeing angry type posts on his Facebook about someone being found dead in a garage. And it scared the hell out of me.
I'm not sure if this part is realivent but I don't want to drip feed. Around 20 years ago I have social services involved. This was because the father of my 2 older children had been accused of hurting another child. He was found not guilty. There has been a gap of several years since i had seen him. I had bumped into him in the streets and he had told me he had been found not guilty so it meant he could pop round and see us. I told him I would need to check with social services. They had gone by that point but I wanted to check. So I had a meeting with a social worker who I had worked with me before. He comfirned what the kids father had said. And he said it was OK for him to come to the house etc.
Then one day I was speaking with a professional and he was mentioned. The professional said you do know I have to report it said it was fine I had already had a meeting with a social worker.
Next thing I know social services are involved again. Only I had a social worker who was awful. She told me if I didn't do exactly as she said my children, would be taken away. The thing is she lied and made stuff up. The things she said were things like I was making dd wear clothes that were to small for her . The sw would leave the part out that dd was wearing old clothes because she was painting pictures. She said there was minimal food in the house. But left the bit out that I shopped daily. I done this because it got us out of the house for a bit. We would cut through the park and play for a bit on the way. She reported there was cat poo all over the house. When it was one little bit next to the litter tray. That had happend whilst I was on the school run. She would mostly meet me outside the school and walk home with me . Or meet me outside my flat. So that meant I didn't have the chance to pick up the cat poop next to the tray.
I remember there being a conference meeting and I was sat between the health visitor and sw. The sw had said something that was not true . And the health visitor started arguing with the sw telling her she's lying and brang up other stuff. I swear that day the heath visitor saved us as a family.
I ended up with a new social worker. Every visit that sw said to me believe in yourself she was absolutely lovely. She also told me that she can't tell me why but the other social worker was no longer working there.
The children are now adults.
But ever since all that happend I have never been able to have a proper relationship. If something gos slightly wrong I end the relationship and I'm not sure if that's what I done with Dd fatheal 15 years ago. As far as I was concerned I had told him I was pregnant no reply so that was that . I just got on with life. I decided I would wait for dd to be old enough to ask about her father. She asked around 2 years ago. I never told her anything bad just that we lost contact when i told him i was pregnant. She messaged him a couple of times last year no reply . Then she sent another message yesterday. He said i had never told him i was pregnant. I had. He said he had seen a message but thought it was a scam.
They spoke for 3 hours on the phone.
Dd said that he said he used to work for xxxx but now he's on a different job he got sacked because he's got a big mouth on him. He also has ptsd from being on the war.
So how do I make sure dd see him safely. I don't want to interfere or anything like that but I need to know dd is safe.