Whe you hit 50, did you feel a shift, in the way you do when you hit 40?

[GrumpyCatHasFleas]

I've been alot more confident in my 40s than my younger years, and ive enjoyed it
And I'm woundering what it's like when you get to 50?
How did you find it.?

I am now closer to 70 than to 60 and do not remember any kind of "shift" when hitting either 40 or 50 and certainly not when hitting 60!
It is all about attitude and a birthday is just another birthday.
Mind you, I am not on much social media and do not live in the UK, so am not subject to all the looks-based propaganda that is bandied about there and I tend to do my own thing.

I didn't feel invisible at 50 nor do I feel invisible or old (thanks OP!) at 60 plus.

It’s been a mixed bag really! In some ways I’ve recovered my mojo: lost 4 stone, got fitter, got a promotion, started solo travelling. I also care a lot less about things ie people liking me. However: I get a real sense of time running out. I have less desire to spend time wuth people and find socialising more difficult as my social battery is more limited. I constantly want to be alone! Then I remember time is running out and I should be seizing the day… but I can’t be arsed. My brain is foggier, I forget things at work but I’m also better at my job because I’m more experienced and thick skinned. I’m physically and mentally exhausted a lot of the time. Yep. A mixed bag indeed! I’m 52 btw.

I'm 57 and in my early 50s I felt I was still cruising on my 40s vibe. My 40s were my peak time. Still felt young, had energy and despite being married to a miserable bugger had quite a good decade. However, moving into late 50s and health issues are popping up, not just for me but friends too. I can feel myself slowing and my physical energy is not matching my mental energy. Conversations with friends are increasingly turning to pension talk and I'm worried I haven't got a downstairs toilet. To combat this I'm trying to travel and fit in a lot more experiences while I can.

I also turned 50 last December & went for a pub meal with my 2 best girlfriends, who are both 70 and VERY lively. I'm so lucky to have them as inspiration 💓

Other life problems aside, and I have quite a few, I agree with you that there is some shift in mindset & coping ability. May it grow stronger!

Turning 40 was great, early 40's was great, felt I was coming into myself properly. Mid 40's turned out to be not too great due to peri-menopause.

Turning 50 was quite a marker, I suddenly realised I had basically created a good life and "made it" in the important ways. Was working hard, doing a volunteer job too, weekends away, 2 holidays a year plus 1-2 trips to family abroad.

At 51.....oh dear! Started with fatigue, pain, pins and needles in different parts of body, weight gain, shape change....
Mid 50's now and if I go out one day I need a quiet couple of days afterwards to recover. A weekend away just sounds exhausting. Prices went up after covid, plus I became single so can't afford holidays anymore. Not exactly where I hoped to be as I thought 50's would be the chance to do everything I really wanted to do just in case I wasn't so healthy in my 60's and 70's!!
Also have zero romantic inclination so being single is unlikely to change. I would love to have a partner and be at the comfortable stage, but changing that and stepping through the minefield of online dating, managing someone else's insecurity and emotional needs, and finding time to meet up every weekend plus during the week just seems to require more energy (and ability to deal with BS than I can muster)

I definitely had more confidence in my 40,s. I’ve just hit 59 and I find I do worry more about really random things . I’m just coming out the other side of being a single mum as my son is now 21 and he’s never in the house which is also lovely but very odd . I have no interest in being in a relationship but now feel I need to do something with my time outside work . I also find my bs tolerance levels are very low .

Mixed bag. In many ways feel more confident, don’t have to worry about what others think etc. However, menopause did make me suffer from anxiety but things have improved now.

However, as time has gone on, life has become harder for two reasons. Health issues have crept in, and ageing parents. So make the most of it when you don’t have these constraints.

Also don’t feel invisable and in many ways there more opportunities. There weren’t all the concerts, theatres, travel opportunities around when I was in my twenties, so I’m embracing them now.

Same. Life is really good for me. Thrown off the mantle of doing for others, early retired and lots of travelling and doing things because I enjoy them. Also volunteering which is hugely satisfying and rewarding. No longer married to my draining, selfish ex-husband and with someone who puts me first. Took a lot to get here though, not plain sailing.

However, I am very fortunate financially. Not sure it would be so great if I was worried about money and couldn't make the choices I do. I know someone who is similar age and very disappointed with her lot which is making her bitter towards others. She told me she feels she settled for her husband. But wouldn't do anything about it.

Yes I am pondering this as due to a shoulder impingement and then fractured metatarsal not long after I turned 50, it’s resulted in a lot of weight gain and low confidence. May I ask how you’re finding it having a PT and what the cost is if you don’t mind?

Yes. When I hit 50 I felt I became invisible, unwanted and a spare bit part player in life. But weirdly that quickly turned to a new found confidence and no fucks left to give attitude. I realised it doesn’t actually matter one bit what anyone thinks about me, what does matter is how I feel about myself and what I do. It’s like the misplaced confidence of youth has returned along with the wisdom of experience… and that is a formidable combination which apparently gives me “a persona that difficult to ignore, despite my diminutive stature”.

She’s moved, so I don’t have her any longer, but she was immensely worth it.

I wanted, and found, a woman PT about my age. After an initial free consultation, she charged £35 per hour or £300 for 10 sessions.

I was open about not being able to afford weekly sessions, which she was fine with. She drew me up a workout plan which included six different sessions, each covering weights & cardio, & we had a session once a month to check in.

Now she’s moved I’m carrying on with the plan & just moving to heavier weights as I get stronger. Without her I wouldn’t really have known where to start - I know there are plenty of video workouts etc but I really wanted in-person help. The regular check-ins also made a big difference to my motivation in the early days.

Thanks for your reply - a helpful insight 🙂

That’s seems a reasonable price for an hour I guess. Def something I’ll consider.

Glad, it worked out so well for you also. Seems it was a good trigger to you self monitoring yourself now and essentially setting you off on the right path. And yes there’s many videos out there but especially if you have any existing health conditions people should really be prioritising in person support where possible.

Not invisible in general but definitely invisible to men.
Enjoying life at but thoughts are definitely turning to “it’s my time” as the kids leave home and parents are relatively healthy and independent.

Now at 59 the focus is changing again to retirement, pensions, health issues and more importantly, parents health issues.
Really looking forward to early retiring and travelling. The focus is definitely less on material things and more on experiences.

My mum says it doesn’t end from men, obviously mens testosterone dies down as they age so it’s less so but she and her sisters/friends were still getting chatted up in their 70s by men their own age. What ended were the pervy creep types which is no loss.

Loved the year I turned 50, invested in myself, lost weight, had nice hair, gained a promotion and felt good. 51 now and just seem to be obsessed with counting how many years I have to work before I retire.

I enjoyed turning 40 - lots of things were going well and I didn’t feel as if I was getting any older.

Will be turning 50 later this year and not looking forward to it. Somehow feels a lot older and various things haven’t been great at various stages in my 40s and I feel it may just be more of the same.

Since turning 50, and now I’m 60 I have no fucks left to give

No change.

I appear to have had my final period just before turning 50, so I suppose that’s a change/ relief, but that’s it. No menopause symptoms, no overwhelming sense of impending death.

that is crap, the term 'Karen' is an example of the obliteration of an older female.

Someone elses experience isn’t crap.

My body changed, I went through a period of thinking I look like shit, but it was just the fact that I don’t suit the same things anymore (went from an A to an FF, that was one of the things. Menopause belly, going gray etc).
I have more experience than most of my colleagues, I’m now the ‘go to’ person. And that’s bit strange, I used to have my own ‘go to’ people, they are now retired and I realise I know the answer, I don’t need to ask anyone.

I finally have time for myself. Like, all the time for myself. I can do what I please when I please.

My DD started treating me like I’m an old lady. Which is bizarre. I’ll ask her to pick up my prescription (HRT btw) and then I’ll get a call asking me if I remembered to take my medication. It’s very sweet, but I told her she’ll know if I haven’t taken my medication, I’d bite her head off without blinking. She’ll come round when I’m not in and empty the dishwasher for me so I don’t have to bend. I don’t have a bad back. I suppose it’s just her way to look after me.

Turning 20 was a big deal to me, nothing since, Am approaching 60 now. Maybe 80 will be a big deal.

of course it is within my experience. You've just double hooked yourself 🙄