Was I wrong to give a Christening gift?

[JDM625]

DH's cousin's child was Christened recently. I'm godmother of their older child. Neither of us are godparents to the younger one, but we were invited and took a gift. A pop up story book and a wooden jigsaw which cost £20. We normally get on well with cousin and wife and I've always sent both Christmas and birthday gifts to both children.

They opened gifts in front of everyone and cousin's wife was rather frosty and said there was no need for us to give a gift, because we weren't godparents, she then repeated that no gift was needed.

Was I wrong to give a gift? I wasn't born in the UK and didn't grow up in an overly religious family so unsure if I've missed some etiquette here?

Not at all, it’s perfectly normal for guests at a Christening to bring a gift.
Very rude of her to try to make it awkward.

No, you weren't wrong. It was a nice thing to do and it wasn't a traditional 'Christening' gift. Godparents gifts are generally something like a silver Christening mug or moneybox - not a book and puzzle so it's not like you were competing.

She's rude and ungrateful.

I would always take a gift to a Christening. Did the invitation say anything about a gift?

Thanks everyone. No, the invite said nothing about not bringing gifts/ give donations to X instead etc.

FYI the child is a toddler, not a newborn, hence the gift.

I'd always take a gift to a Christening. I gave a nice bible to my Goddaughter and her Mum/older sister told me it was an unnecessary gift

It is quite acceptable to take a Christening gift, not obligatory, but I would always give something to commemorate the occasion.
it was very rude of the child’s mother to make a comment other than thanks.

Not at all OP. All guests bought our children a gift at each of their christenings, the Godparent gifts were significantly more expensive. I’ve been asked to be a Godmother four times, but I have always taken cards and gifts to the separate christenings of their siblings and any other babies I have been invited to. I wouldn’t dream of attending such a special occasion without one. The gifts you gave sound lovely and generous, and they are to be enjoyed by the child after all, it’s not about the adults (many seem to forget they were ever children, who of course always delight in receiving and opening presents for goodness sake!)

I think it was incredibly rude and ungracious to say this to you, I’m really shocked. I can actually remember giving a birthday card to one friend’s child as I was visiting near her birthday, and her saying ‘oh I didn’t think we were swapping cards’. I thought she was so ungrateful and rude, I didn’t give her child a card expecting anything in return for mine. I hate this new modern trend of people trying to control and micro-manage what other people gift. All that is needed is ‘thank you’ with a smile. Even my 3 year old knows that! 😂

That’s so rude of her, and actually the bible you bought is a perfect gift in your role as Godmother, as it’s actually about being a Christian role model and helping your Goddaughter learn about and practise her faith, so you actually got what so many miss the actual point of being a Godmother is supposed to be about! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Exactly. Rude pair of ratbags.

No, you weren't wrong to give a gift, it is traditional to do so for a Christening. Your cousin's wife was extremely rude and ungracious.

Totally normal to bring a gift, she probably wanted cash. Ungrateful.

Nope. Totally normal. It would be more odd not to bring a gift surely?

Cousin’s wife was unbelievably rude - it is quite normal to take a present to a Christening, whether or not you’re a godparent. Perhaps she was just surprised, or perhaps someone else hadn’t taken a present and she didn’t want them to feel embarrassed - but absolutely no reason for making you feel uncomfortable. I hope her child enjoyed the present!

She was rude, Definitely. No excuse. It's a nice, appropriate gift

It's normal to give a Christening present if invited to a Christening. Your present sounds completely appropriate.

Her comments were unnecessary and it was rather rude to start opening presents in front of guests. Normally presents are opened afterwards.