Need advice from social worker or psychologist

[PanickingParent]

A few months ago, I discovered my son (17 years) was taking steriods. I referred him to CAMHs who involved social services. My son refused to engage with either initially but then decided to become involved to 'get them off his back' so he could go back to taking steriods. Social services did an investigation but recommended CAMHs and did not take on the case. Son told CAMHs a load of nonsense and they signed him off. He has started taking steriods again and I don't know how to get help. He would not engage with either organisation again. Would social services consider it serious enough to force him to engage (Child protection plan)? I am utterly devastated. He knows all the risks but doesn't care.

What is the current impact of him taking steroids. What is his happening with his behaviour and health?

This is unlikely to reach threshold for social care. There will be a drugs support charity near you (there are different groups locally) who could help and educate him and support you and family.

How is he funding buying the drugs?

assuming these are to make him appear physically fit?

He is funding it by selling his possessions. He is intending to get a job to fund it longer term. When he took them previously he got much stronger / larger. He had some evidence of raised liver levels. He had acne and was more aggressive.

Yes, he wants to look like a body builder so people respect him.

Would social care just recommend CAMHS again? Would they agree to take him?

He's 17, he's not going to be put on a child protection plan, and that wouldn't force him to do anything anyway. You need to keep working on supporting and educating him. Nobody is going to be able to force him to stop or you have mental health input. Also unfortunately at his age he's not likely to get seen by CAMHS again. Their waiting lists are so long even if he was accepted he would probably age out.

Sorry it does sound stressful for you but camhs won’t touch this issue. I’m sure he will be 18 soon and whilst it’s hard for you to see him make some daft decisions that could have health consequences, he will be an adult. With all that camhs and social care have to deal with, this isn’t up there in the priority I’m afraid

I think this is more suited to support from a young persons substance misuse worker, than CAHMS? Unless there are other things going on I’m very surprised CAHMS were involved.

Sadly, nobody can force him to engage with anything (unless for example he ends up committing a crime under the influence and has youth court involvement). It’s extremely unusual for a child of seventeen to be on a child protection plan.

Your best option may be trying to find a therapist he clicks with to try to address the underlying issues (you would have choice if you could go private, less choice NHS), or even finding a personal trainer he can work with that obviously doesn’t support steroid use.

He can't be forced to engage with anything. How exactly would that work?

The Mental Capacity Act 2005 applies to anyone over the age of 16 so if they feel he has capacity and is making a really stupid decision about his health but understands the risks and is taking them anyway then there isn't much anyone can do about it.

You as his parent can insist on certain rules but again, it relies on his willingness to abide by them.

Even if it was considered a child protection issue (unlikely) if you as his parents are engaging with that process and he is the only one that isnt there isn't any lawful basis for health or social services to compel him to do anything he doesnt want to do unless he is deemed to be so mentally unwell he requires treatment in hospital which doesn't come across as the case in your post.

It might be worth looking at some of the drug and alcohol services locally rather than going down the mental health/social services route. Steroid use in this way is substance misuse

How long until he is 18?

It's not unheard of for 17 year olds to be on Child Protection Plans but mostly if there are County Lines or e.g sexual exploitation concerns which I'm not picking up as an issue from OPs posts.

No this is totally his choice.

10 months until he is 18.

I have offered him a personal trainer but he is not interested.

SW here- it will not meet the threshold for Social Care but would for the Early Help/ Targeted Support service which could provide him with a Young Peoples Worker , but he would have to consent to engage.

More appropriate would be to refer him into your local young person drug and alcohol service , but again he will need to consent to direct work with them.

Contact them anyway for advice about super as a parent.

good luck c

He’s unlikely to meet the threshold for social work allocation. As others have said, the best strategy is to look at your local drug support service and a pp’s suggestion of working with a good personal trainer who can educate him about steroid use. You could try Young Minds or Childline who might be able to point you in the right direction.

Yes, and CP ROTH (Risk Outside The Home) pathway.

Thank you. I will see what is available in my area. It is really tough as a parent.

@PanickingParent as our children get older we have no option but to stop forcing/making them do as we want,and move towards education, advise, guidance. This will mean young adults end up making mistakes.

Just because you can't force him to stop does not mean giving up trying to persuade him.

Talk regularly about how much you care about him, show him in lots of different ways how you care. Then use that level of care as a backdrop to dropping in conversations about being healthy, long term impacts, how you can't support or agree with his choices on this.

It might take time, but if he comes from a stable and caring family network then the probability is he will make this mistake, eventually realise it was unwise and move on (to make more mistakes, as we all do when we grow and learn).

Learning to be an adult will involve making some unsafe decisions sometimes.

Im amazed it met the threshold for SSD to open the referral in the first place, what was he open as, a CHIN? Or do you mean they did an initial C+F assessment and signposted to CAMHS?

Substance misuse services are more appropriate anyway, Im also amazed he got any service from CAMHS you must be very lucky in your area that they're persistent enough to keep working with someone who says they dont want to engage. No one has to engage with CAMHS if they dont want to, or any other service for that matter

Are there no strong (physically and emotionally ) men in his life who can role model and mentor him?

I know it sounds counterintuitive but perhaps encouraging him to get a job would actually be helpful.

Although a job means more money it also means less spare time, more expectations to behave maturely and potentially some alternative role models/points of view.

It's vastly likely that he will grow out of it either way and you just have to try and maintain a relationship as best you can and see him on the other side of this really difficult phase.

The only other thing I can suggest is trying to help him fill his time up with more positive things, supporting him with finding a job, talking about what he wants to achieve etc, shorter term goals like does he want to learn to drive, save for a holiday or a car etc. Is there anyone he trusts and respects in wider family who could speak to him? This is sometimes more successful than professionals he doesn’t know, although there is a value in having someone objective to talk to as well. Essentially the hope is that he eventually realises steroid use is incompatible with the life he wants.

Edit - structure and routine of a job can be helpful but also there will be external consequences if his drug use impacts on work - which can be an important learning opportunity.

Personally I'd try to find people he'd listen to that can give advice. So does he go to a gym? Are there PTs there you can sign him up with who could give advice on steroids? James Smith is a big fitness influencer who took steroids and is quite vocal about it now in terms of negative benefits. There are some others my DSs listen to as well.
Offer him some natural supplements as an alternative, offer to buy them for him. Zinc I think is good for testosterone as an example. Is he taking creatine? This is excellent for muscle building and is safe to take.
Lean in and work with him if his desire is to be muscled. Boys these days have a lot of pressure to have "high test" and have very lean and muscly bodies.

Social workers did an initial assessment only, he was not on a plan. CAMHS took him on as he told me he had taken an overdose of painkillers (was not a large number) when he could not afford steriods. This was the point I found out.

We have spent hundreds of hours discussing it. He says he does not care about the side effects. How he looks is all that matters to him.

I have offered driving lessons. There are not really any male role models. His older male cousins all live in other countries. He has no brothers.