Afternoon tea with a 5 and 1 year old?

[SpecduckularlyQuackers]

A member of my family wants us all to go for afternoon tea at a local posh hotel, described as tranquil, leisurely and with a Michelin starred chef. Sounds lovely, but we have a 5 and just turned 1 year old - am I overreacting to think this might be a bit disastrous?? I'm not toooo worried about the 5 year old, as long as he has cake he'll be happy, though his attention span for a very leisurely sit might be limited. But the 1 year old is likely to be loud and will struggle to sit nicely for any length of time.

I am aware that I tend to anticipate the worst in these situations, so would appreciate views from others!

No need to be catty. It’s (obviously!) much easier to arrange plans with people who have children or regularly babysit children a similar age as your own. In my examples one barely had young children and was only involved EOW later on, and the other has only had a child for less than half a year.
I can give plenty of other examples if you wish.
And of course there are some very considerate people without children, but people with zero child caring responsibilities don’t often get the ins and outs of things like nap schedules and weaning. I certainly didn’t pre-children.

Yeah this is not the stage for it. I had a family member who forgot about the reality of children for a very long time. In that case, it’s the desire for leisurely pub lunch, and there’s nothing leisurely about a pub lunch with three children under 8, including a degree of fussiness from some of those …

Thanks everyone, I think I've found a possible alternative venue that's still nice but more relaxed, and is in a country park so I can escape to let one or both kids let off steam as needed. I also love the idea of getting an afternoon tea catered at one of our homes, so I'll suggest both to the family group and see what lands best! I really appreciate that you could all see where I was coming from as I was really doubting myself.

I would decline. I took my DD to a family afternoon tea when she was 2.5 and while she was as well behaved as could be expected we spent a lot of time walking around the hotel and gardens because she was bored, so it was a bit rubbish for me!
Maybe if your family are helpful and will take turns entertaining the 1 year old, or you can time it for him to nap during it?

Is it your family or DH’s?

We made these things work by the parent who wasn’t the blood relative being on call… and making sure that the posh place had outside space so said parent could escape somewhere with one or both if needed. DH spent a lot of time outdoors at my brother’s wedding and I spent some time in the car with a napping DS at his brother’s wedding!

Three month old and 5 year old would be fine. The 5 year old will understand how to behave and probably quite enjoy it, the 3 month old will lie in a pram, snuggle with mum, or be passed round for snuggles - no problem. The 1 year old I get your concerns.

Totally also that's expensive. I mean maybe not for posh afternoon teas, but for an event that one of you will be child wrangling!! Just a thought - recently it was my aunt's birthday and I gave her and her husband an afternoon tea hamper for her birthday which was only £20 for 1 hamper for 2 people. Would it be possible for you to host, or someone with a bigger house to (if needed) and get order in afternoon teas? That way everyone gets to catch up and get a proper afternoon tea, but the kids get to run round and play with their toys!

I would not decline.

But I would give everyone the heads up that your going to need to take the kids out of the room quite a bit.

When my son was younger, and we had to attend long family meals (which happens a lot in the country he is raised in) my solution was the same as the posters above + just to be in and out.

• In at the start.
• out for a nice walk while everyone waits for food.
• in to eat.
• out after he had eaten, while the adults chatted and finished
• Then back in again for the end of the meal + leaving.

Worked well to be honest. Kid was kept from being bored and the time at the table was kept short enough that his behavior stayed good. Adults all got to see him and he got to be part of a family event.

No one minded that he had to go for a few walks. Obviously preferable to disturbing people at the table.

It isn't fun if you are very social, but for me, it was actually lovely at times to get away from the chatting for a walk with my son.

Location dependent, some places don’t mind others wouldn’t allow it. How reliable is nap time ? I would have taken mine but they were fine in restaurants, but they knew about sitting still because we did it at home too